The following is REAL footage from Portland, 2025. Viewer discretion is advised.

Antifa is a highly sophisticated Islamic proto-state that controlled territory in Syria and Iraq release the Epstein Files.

Here endeth the tour.

“Are you busy tomorrow?” That entirely depends on the rest of the information you’re about to give me.

This final post from Kaleb Horton is very beautiful and hits hard. This is just so sad. RIP.

I will be the rat czar. I will give each rat a hat and an umbrella. I will give the rats the vote

Road cases on the Gulf of Mexico! 🇲🇽 Just finished up my run playing keys with Mindi Abair and her incredible band. My southeast (mostly) Solo Tour starts next Tuesday at Jammin' Java in Vienna VA and moves on to NC and GA. Dates and tix at bobmalone.com

Son of a bitch. They're still here.

We're living in interesting times. I don't want to live in interesting times.

I have taken the Tylenol that was in the medicine cabinet and which they think probably is the reason you like trains forgive me but that’s bullshit you got autism from your dad

BREAKING: Introverts don’t want to tell you how their weekend was, so you can go ahead and stop asking. Thank you.

I tell you what, learn a little bit about cancer and people who think you can cure cancer with diet or supplements do look very silly. This is why cancer biologists have such a hard time not being snarky.

Normalize bookstore dates.

I’ve been reading Vonnegut recently. I dig this quote: “No matter how corrupt, greedy, and heartless our government, our corporations, our media, and our religious & charitable institutions may become, the music will still be wonderful.” ―Kurt Vonnegut

I have a lot of fun on here! People share links, people actually read articles, I share music recs and get new ones. Why should I care if nobody's paying a bot farm to juice numbers?

The struggle of answering phones as a kid was real. #CalvinandHobbes #ChildhoodProblems

This man on every news show everywhere please.

Canned asparagus. An affront not only to asparagus in its natural state, but to all of humanity.

If you have trouble finding dates, spare a thought for Ned, a perfectly nice snail with dire romantic prospects.

"'Here’s a text book on economics,' I said pointing to a little chap, James Ashworth, who was ten years old and who was stooped over like an old man from carrying bundles of yarn that weighed seventy-five pounds."

It's kinda wild how the climate crisis has gotten so dire that even publications for moneyed ghouls like Forbes and WSJ have pivoted from "climate change isn't real" to "here's how you profit from climate change!" and the Gomers they hoodwinked to begin with are still arguing it's a scam somehow

X: STFU homo libtard Bluesky: STFU you John-Ashcroft-defending Straussian freak

"A temporary healthcare trainee will draw a vial of blood from your finger. This sample will be used to check your blood sugar, cholesterol, and triglycerides before the rest is added to a silver goblet from which the CEO will drink during the quarterly shareholders' meeting."

Fishermen Pulled In an Orange Shark Off Costa Rica: ‘My God, What Is This?’ www.nytimes.com/2025/08/28/w...

LOL #CalvinandHobbes

Sometimes I see people like 20 tweets deep into an argument with Grok. Like, what are you doing brother? You are trying to win an argument with a vending machine.

John Fogerty's new album "Legacy: The Creedence Clearwater Revival Years" drops today and I played all the keyboards on it! Bob Glaub on bass, Rob Stone on sax, Matt Chamberlain on drums. And of course, Fogerty & Sons doing their thing.

A Monarch Butterfly and a bumblebee share Blue Sage in Central Park's spectacular Conservatory Garden. 🥰🥰🥰 #Monarch #CentralPark #birding

Stop scrolling, my D.C. area friends! I'm teaming up with the incredible Eric Scott Trio m for a 9/30 show at Jammin Java in Vienna, VA. Yes, that's a Tuesday, but it's not like this is something that happens every day!😀 🎟️here: www.unionstagepresents.com/shows/bob-ma...

While we’re still figuring out life on Earth, Voyager 1 is 15 billion miles away, cruising on 69KB, an 8-track, and 1977s Fortran like it’s nothing.

Maybe one of the hardest things to accept about the rise of MAGA America is that MAGA America was already there, by the millions, like locusts underground, just waiting for someone [Trump] to give them cover and permission to parade their own malicious and un-American qualities.

my new ai device will sit in a beer garden that backs onto a small river and drink three to five pints on a sunny late summer afternoon for you, leaving you free for more meetings and business calls

The annoying spam texts destroying the Democratic brand: $678M raised through those spam tactics $282M to one consulting firm: Mothership Strategies. $11M to actual campaigns (1.6%) The party isn’t just treating donors like marks—it’s being fleeced itself yet continues to back Mothership.

really feels like housing affordability is one of the most important political issues of our time, affecting nearly every aspect of our lives, and everyday our mainstream political discourse is about whether sour cream is woke or not

Captains Log: i finished my goddamned paper.

Much to my surprise, a Great Blue Heron graced Central Park's Pool just after dawn. Despite the low light, I managed to get a decent shot of it in flight. 🥰🥰🥰 #Heron #CentralPark #birding

The chemtrails loons are careful not to make too many big promises because even if they lie and say "we finally did it we got planes to stop dumping the mind-control chemicals!" planes will still make contrails.

"Tried Language right when it opened and it was fine. Tried it again 500 years later and, yup, all the hipsters have ruined it. Look at all these posers with their 'verbs.' Pathetic."

Ugh I'm getting cataract surgery. HASHTAG. OLD. After that, I'll be on the road playing keys with the incredibly awesome Mindi Abair, followed by a week of mid-atlantic/southeast solo shows. Tix available now for everything!

The only reason Dean Cain got a job with ICE is because Scott Baio couldn’t get him a job at Subway.

Me and my red piano and Fernando Perdomo on a Rickenbacker bass and The Malonettes from last week's show.🎹

cereal is soup right?

Is anyone else eagerly awaiting cooler temperatures, pumpkin patches, ominous mansions, fog-laden fields of corn, autumn festivals, pumpkin pastries, Halloween, resplendent trees, the full moon in October, spooky films, and the heartwarming sound of crows in the distance?

This livestream of sea life in the South Atlantic has attracted more than 1.6 million views a day on YouTube and has Argentines hooked.

Against all odds it was a great show! The bass player got covid, drummer got rear-ended in a 4 car pileup on the way to the gig, my wife was in screaming pain with a cracked tooth. But the guitar player switched to bass with one day notice, the band brought the🔥, and the crowd was sold out!

I've been holed up at Santa Barbara Sound for 3 marathons days working on an album with producer Dawn Elder & young new artist Danny Chu. I cowrote the songs, played everything on the tracks except guitar, and did some on-the-spot background vocal arranging.😀 It's gonna be a real good record! 🎶

I was once paid a fairly substantial sum to play "The Elements" to a room full of physicists from all over the world. One of my proudest musical moments. R.I.P. Tom Lehrer - truly one of a kind.♥️

How great was Tom Lehrer? In 2020, he moved his entire catalog into the public domain because he felt he'd made more than enough money off of it. Enjoy every Tom Lehrer album: tomlehrersongs.com

R.I.P. Chuck Mangione. From me and all the other early 80s HS jazz band kids. You inspired us all!💔

Sad Ozzy had to die before he got to bite the head off of Stephen Miller.