Paul Skenes has the personality of a raw potato

In a move unsurprisingly to many of you, I have once again ripped my jeans in the ass.

But the rich will continue to eat the very best while you eat the poison, losers.

Seems pretty normal. If ya don't like the weather in Texas, wait 5 minutes har har har *smashes self in head with mallet *

The way I would climb Salvador Perez like a tree

Eugenio Suarez batting stance is like if Winnie the Pooh learned how to play baseball

AND FRANCE WITH THE SIX NATIONS?!?!?! ALLEZ!!!!!! 🇫🇷 🇫🇷 🇫🇷

Nice work, Hammers! ⚒️ #WHU #COYI

Refs really can't handle City drawing 🙄

Stop trying to ruin Dinos' beautiful face!

Seeing Haaland get racked in the balls is just 😙🤌

Pete and I got this game called Kan Jam and you could easily make it with a Frisbee and two laundry hampers but its so fun and we've been out in the beautiful weather playing it a.co/d/02LPIZAx

I don't know what the FUCK is going on but I've heard Dr Feelgood incidentally like 7 times in the past 2 weeks.

There is a kid on the Ole Miss baseball team named Will Furniss and Pete thought his name was "Bill Furnace" and I am losing my mind

I went to a relaxation sound bath at yoga and all I could think of during savasana was this

Help out my buddy Brass if you can. He is a friend to the animals/generally all around good human trying to make it like the rest of us!

New England FC, where Austin FC goes to die

Listened to OK Computer on the way home and it made me miss 14 and 16 year old Biwl and Biwl driving around in @ladyreezy.bsky.social's maroon VW Fox

I'm gonna cut my husband's students hair today and hopefully its not awkward

Getting my education

I just saw a license plate holder that said "happiness is biting my parrot back"

Man if im not in perimenopause I dont know what the fuck is going on with my body. My joints are killing me. I can barely work a typical day without being hobbled at the end of it. And im always hot but im having what can only be described as micro hot flashes. Its so stupid.

I love Wemby so much 🥲🩷

The Spurs won, much to Pete's chagrin.

Im at the Spurs Rockets game in San Antonio and fucking D Ham is here!!! GO BILLS

INVENTOR OF THE AUTOMOBILE: *trying to skooch a chair down the street* this sucks

Its daylight savings, I have to ve at work at 9 am, and my husband didn't set up the coffee last night.

The paralympics is fucking cool.

Brook Lopez get a haircut for the love of God. Scroungiest player since Kevin Uncle Catfish Durant

My husband got me a Framber Valdez jersey 🥲🩷

I've had like 3 or 4 bottles of sake im sorry everyone

The seeblings Riché! Its my birthday! @ladyreezy.bsky.social is here. We got teppanyaki

I share a birthday with the ever handsome, beer-loving Luka Dončić 😍

We killed 85 schoolgirls. We are not the good guys.

Pete is forcing me to go to dinner with a colleague of his and their spouse and they live in our dipshit town and hes like no no they're really cool and they picked the restaurant and its Longhorn Steakhouse 😮‍💨

Forget doom scrolling. Last night @ladyreezy.bsky.social and I were doom visiting. EVERYTHING IS SO BLEAK

My beautiful sissy 💗 I did her hair!

It's super hard at the end of the month. There's no money until the 4th. We're real low on rice right now. Even a few bucks helps. 👉🏼 PayPal.me/maxdonprod Thank you! 🙏🏼

I was coming out of the salon a couple nights ago and this guy was like big sis.....big sis....can I get a couple dollars for a coffee? Its so cold out here! and I gave him ten bucks but like man you don't gotta call me BIG SIS 😒😒😒 ENJOY YOUR COFFEE I GUESS

Admittedly, all this shit with my business partner/friend has majorly given me the blues. Addiction is fuckin evil man. We tried to take care of each other. And at a certain point it was just me doing all the taking care of him. Now I'm just out here flapping in the wind all alone.. I miss my buddy

I have a dentist appointment tomorrow so naturally I flossed like i was using a wire cheese slicer and that was a great experience

🙄 shut up bitch

Trump and Louisiana are sending a barge with a 1974 model mobile home bolted to it attended by three overweight medical interns in soiled scrubs to Greenland to pass out Ivermectin.

I have a touch of the D. Depression. Not diarrhea. This time.

Scrambles has abandoned the Fart Cave in favor of the couch these days. This is how I found her this morning after a long, restful night's sleep(?)

GOOD NEWS EVERYONE I'M GONNA HAVE THE HICCUPS TIL I DIE

Can't sleep 😮‍💨

Today at the salon the city had the water shut off so I washed all my clients with gallons of distilled water and after my third client I moved everyone else to other days cuz it fuckin sucked