Mechanic [sliding out from under Optimus Prime]: I think I see what the issue is. This truck is also a big guy somehow

I’m currently playing this. Why does Reagan have a katana? Don’t know. Why does Gorbachev have a blow gun and is a master hacker? Also don’t know. Is this game pretty awesome? Yes. Most definitely.

(Moe looks on as Larry repeatedly stabs the groaning man, who is wrapped in a sheet in the trunk. Curly squeals, slaps his own face then fires several rounds into body and slams the trunk) "As far back as I can remember, I always wanted to be a Stooge"

Well first what you’re going to want to do is either A) solve Jigsaws puzzle or B) saw off your own leg. After that what you’re going to

New little guy! All my other jumping spiders have green chelicerae, this little guys are blue!

Charlie Browns mom: Waaah wah wah wah waaah waaah waaah wah Charlie Brown: oh, you mean pigpen Charlie browns mom: Wah way. Waaaah wahwahwah wah wah waaah waaaah wahwhawah wah wah Charlie Brown: yeah I get that. It’s pretty bad over there but I don’t think they hit him

Just an isopod eating some scrambled eggs

If video games have taught me anything it’s that if there ever is some sort of zombie apocalypse I’m unfortunately going to end up as one of those fat zombies that explode.

Dude looks like he got his haircut by a fascist Flowbee.

I get the alliteration that they were going for but Call Kramer is right there! It’s the most meek sounding “Give… give us a call if you want to. I guess.” billboard I’ve ever seen.

Not since the boyfriend in the first Terminator movie has a man so badly miscalculated what he was physically capable of

Check out the big brain on Brad!

This is my new favorite guy

Sometimes he isn’t the smartest…

🎵 Carry on my based milk son 🎵

If Sinners came out in the 90s there would be an SNES and Genesis game that would be made by totally different developers. The Genesis version youd play as Smoke and you’d have a gun and in the SNES version you play as Preacherboy and you fight vampires with your guitar

Baby isopods!

In a Ram Jam? Call Black Betty!

My wife and mother and law wanted me to “pick a bad movie for us to watch” and yet when I put on After Last Season all sudden everyone complains that it’s too bad of a movie.

Fuck this to the highest degree

Sun Tzu (D-NY) - “When your enemy is making a mistake, fix it for him at great cost to yourself.”

I’m currently watching an incredibly bad computer animated Christian movie staring talking animals from the manger and this may be the funniest frame of a movie ever:

Oh cool. It’s going to hit almost 80° next week in SLC. Totally normal March weather and not anything to be concerned about.

Jesus Christ. They watched the Willie Horton ad and said “What if we turned the racism knob to 11?”

couldn’t find an actual digital version so i just filmed my computer screen.

Now watching my white whale of bad movies Surfer: Teen Confronts Fear!

Got a new friend

Now watching Rashomon.

Looks like it’s time for my every two year or so rewatch of Red Dwarf

ELO forever undefeated in the field of songs i nearly wanna give up on before they wallop me in the noggin with a hook like ive never heard before in my deprived little life

I have been meaning to watch more Monarchs games…

over on x the everything app some Chicago high school kid named Danny Spud tried to disrupt his school's anti-ICE protest by yelling about how much he loves ICE and then filmed himself getting walloped by a fellow student lmao the quote tweet making fun of him has 3x the likes

in slo-mo, with music

i forget who made it but it cracks me up lol

I bought some giant cave cockroaches and my goodness are they adorable.

I’ll bet there’s a point in the Venus fly trap that’s really comfortable.

What do you do when you find a clock this amazing in the trash? Well you take it home, learn to solder, and you fix it. Duh.

This is why you gotta cut those six pack rings

I’m pretty sure I have tennis elbow in both of my elbows which is somehow impressive.

[whispering to Miller] He'll throw you to the wolves. You'll never get a pardon. It's now or never! [slithering over to Trump] He plots against you sire! Throwing him in the dungeon will send a message to the others!

(Dude suddenly stops pushing his broom across the floor of the Death Star) Does this look like a big laser to anyone else

Damn, I hope the pole is okay.

only thing blue line i recognize 🫡