The urge to delete all of my posts and go back to being fine is overwhelming

I'm just going between feeling absolutely everything and nothing. I don't want to be host anymore. Herald can do it better than me. I'm so tired. I'm so done. My chest hurts so much. I don't want to be depended on anymore. I don't know what I'm doing so don't ask me to make you feel better

Yey let's go back to work and immediately have a Big System Event fantastic love that for me what the FUCK

Are you protecting children or are you protecting parents' ownership over their children?

Okay I'm going to try and be a person. I don't really know what that means and my entire brain is screaming at me that I'm going to die and that terrible things are going to happen but I'm going to try anyway

Hmm, I wonder if there's a word for this.

The No ICE in Minnesota Charity Bundle has officially LAUNCHED! There are 1,439 games to discover for a $10+ donation to Immigrant Law Center of Minnesota! Purchase the bundle here: itch.io/b/3484/no-ic...

That upset the humans and it sort of upset me, too, which you wouldn’t think it would

It's funny how I relate to both Wanda and Vision in WandaVision just for different reasons

*throws the ball outside of the game map into the void* Fetch!

One day maybe the sun will come out

literally years of our life are on that platform. alters who would never otherwise communicate with us made contact because of the accommodations provided by that platform. pluralkit in particular. not to speak of the communities we've built on there

what if haha you used a piece of software as a disability accommodation for your poor memory and impermanent sense of self and communication within your system, but then discord said "give me your ID or else"

So there is a discord for adult survivors of child sexual abuse, does that count as an adult server, Discord?

It's like someone cleaned our house but the house is our brain. Does that make sense? Probably not. Still true though

Every time Elon starts talking about building an army of unstoppable sex robots or a space base in 5 years, it's because he's in a state of blind panic and squirting bullshit the way a squid does ink. The actual story, if journalists didn't suck, would be: what is he panicking about this time.

I accidentally scrolled on Herald's TikTok and uh I will not be doing that again

Every so often I remember the time where my abuser went "I know I was harsh on you as a kid" and I responded "that's okay I don't even remember it" and he looked at me with this weird expression and said "if you do it's very important that you come and talk to me about it, okay? It's important."

reading the immortal hulk on the recommendation of a friend who went "hey this does DID really well you might get something out of this", a thread

Fragmentation grenade more like polyfragmentation grenade amirite

This actually got so much better after I let one of them play games and chat with my mom for a bit, like, I'm thinking clearly for the first time in a while

Pronoun labels is down quick everyone grab a cis person and transgender them

Maybe it's not so bad out here - TM

Blowing my kid’s mind by telling her the Italian renaissance masters were named after some cartoon turtles

Noisy brain day We've got someone criticising me for wearing slippers and not being "grounded" enough, someone telling me we need to go back to spawn point, random flashes of memories, and psychosomatic body pains My brain is far too full of people

Cantrips implies the existence of can't trips

Not being able to access social media until way into my adult years fucked me up in ways I am still struggling to unpick because I was a queer autistic kid who was deliberately isolated from my peers so I could continue to be abused without pushback This will kill people

Actions speak louder than words, so if you are struggling to fund a #MobilityAid via #MutualAid and #crowdfunding, please post your links here, especially if you are BIMPOC. I'll try to repost and comment on all I can, for visibility. Y'all helped me get a wheelchair, now it's my turn to help.

Depersonalisation sucks so bad

If you lost 90% of it youd still be a billionaire.

God knew I would be too powerful on Space Marine with a stable ping

They should invent a sense of self that is consistent and stable

Mom come pick me up my headmate is subtweeting me again

Oh I have thoughts about Tony Stark and how especially in the MCU he is a man driven by self-sacrifice, protectionism and heroism as a form of self-harm that is never addressed because he is more useful to people when he burns himself alive and ultimately kills himself for them.

Okay, complex needs appointment and suddenly I'm the most normal person in the world

I love how I've been waiting for this complex needs appointment for literally over half a year and now it's tomorrow and I just...can't be bothered. I literally don't care. I know it's going to be the same old shit and I'm just fucking tired

goddamnit

just talked to God and he said “fuck ICE, no heaven for fascists”

Trying this things where I try and make a bit of music with as few possible edits/redos/perfectionism just to prove to myself that I can

"You need to learn how to rest" cool, what's the most productive way to do that? "You need to learn how to be imperfect?" cool how do I perfect that? "You need to learn self-acceptance" so I'm not good enough right now cool, how do I change that

Living the dream (creating a self sustaining ecosystem for my city in Farthest Frontier where most of the people don't have to work or earn a living but still have a fantastic quality of life and abundant cheese)

I need more cozy games to play

What's that you say! It was all just fear pushing by bad faith groups and that trans women pose no threat to cisgender women. www.independent.co.uk/news/science...

Oh Herald got his post on r/DID pulled by mods because he expressed the belief that he's a different person to me and that's "encouraging disconnection/separation" and it's banned and falls under "unhealthy practices" Okayyy I'm not sure how I feel about that one

Coming back to the front after not being here for a day makes me panic which makes me dissociate and my brain's reaction to this is to pull me out of the front which makes me panic more which makes me You get the idea Fuck this stupid fucking disorder

The fun thing about coming back to yourself is realising "oh I have some pretty messed up beliefs that cause me large amounts of mental illness that my headmate just...doesn't have huh"

🤦🏻 My headmate has become a Redditor I WAS GONE FOR ONE DAY

I'm never going to get used to that

Uhmmm did I just skip a day what