Scroll down to the Major Events Timeline, and nothing will prepare you for what you'll see. I cannot believe it is real. www.whitehouse.gov/about-the-wh...

joining my first discord server as a millennial

This is the hardest I’ve ever been owned online

Switching out the president's nuclear briefcase with this and finally getting my much deserved nobel peace prize

my cat’s birthday is tomorrow and he doesn’t know it yet but i’m giving him a rotisserie chicken at midnight 😋

from a young age i always knew i wanted to watch my favorite artworks get vulgarized by complete schmucks

the thing about ghibli films, at least to me, is that the aesthetics are often secondary to the moving stories of unlikely companionship and wistful meditations on the passage of time, which ai cannot reproduce

idk why but the rachel zegler thing feels the most "red scare 3" of them all. she's 23 and barely did anything, and very likely isn't even all that radical, but has nonetheless incited mass bourgeois psychosis

The strategy of “concede a small point to win the greater point” should be replaced by the “Lol, no” offensive. More effective AND more fun and easy to learn. Resonates across demographics. I am avail to give a seminar on this

For Throne Of Blood’s climax, Mifune wore boards under his costume for the arrows that hit him & had to hit his marks precisely as 20 professional archers shot arrows to the right & left of him. He said he didn’t have to act terrified for the scene. He was. He got riotously drunk the night before.

That’s… certainly an art choice

guys love to say “dude my balatro run last night was insane” then show you a screenshot like this

"did you hear they're gonna make transgender illegal?" "yes, yes, it's terrible, terrible...but at least it'll solve the egg shortage!"

0.000% of Communism has been built. Evil child-murdering billionaires still rule the world with a shit-eating grin. All he has managed to do is make himself *sad*. He is starting to suspect Kras Mazov *fucked him over* personally with his socio-economic theory.

DEI failed which is why republicans are frothing at the mouth over it every three seconds

"the only things dems need to cave on are race, gender, policing, and immigration" what kind of victory would this be

almost like the point was tourism to win awards

When I cook hot dogs I like to say "I'm giving the dogs a bath." My wife & I are separated

jd vance got a team america puppet face

I don’t think people in other countries know about pep rallies or how deranged they are. At my school they had one where cheerleaders pretended they were going to kiss football players and then blindfolded them and their moms kissed them instead. The idea was that they got horny for their mom

the maoist standard english leaving my body when someone uses it unironically

not pictured: two guys screaming at the top of their lungs over a parking spot

apply for this job on Poopy. stream now on Peepee. it’s all happening on Pussy

why is this on goodreads lol

rip to a real one

a museum with ties to the prison-industrial complex posting this is crazy

No one knows how many clowns can fit in a cybertruck because they all have too much dignity to be seen in one.

it’s 1 am. my girlfriend and cat are asleep in my bed. i am in the kitchen. i just tried to put my nintendo switch in the fridge

me and my friends in middle school selling our old pokemon cards:

no need to light cop cars on fire anymore — this one does it all on its own!

introducing hundreds of anti-trans bills while simultaneously erasing the epstein files, call coming from inside the house!!!

i'm not worried about AI taking my job because AI can't be unemployed

PrEP might be the single greatest medical advancement of my lifetime (AIDS was literally a death sentence when I was a teenager) and HIV affects every single one of us. Madness if they tank it.

i’m built like this btw

Pretty much

Guy who doesn’t even respond to the mothers of his children: reply to my email or you’re fired

companies listening to what people say they want instead of making art and just giving them something has been ruinous for games, movies and more for the last 10-15 years

Checking my notifs like

My kid lives in Siddall Hall and sent me these yesterday. First is what was put up by the school, second is the students’ alteration of the administrations’ cowardice.

going to this with a friend. let me know if you are too 🩵

transphobes think and talk about dick more than all of my gay friends who, i should add, think and talk about dick A LOT

forgot i did this like five months after they laid us all off

Elon’s busy schedule today is claiming astronauts were left in the ISS for political reasons, getting corrected by an ISS astronaut, throwing a fit where he calls the astronaut a slur, then complaining that we should deorbit the ISS