there really is a whole other world out there

just walked to my local coffee shop and every pastry tasted like white guilt

Something instead of nothing

You didn't bring anything back from the gem biome for me? Not one single little thing?

boss set me up to be humiliated on a call so bad i’m windowshopping for full body chainmail and debating just quitting right now

documentary in which the Minions reenact their past atrocities in Indonesia.

(attached to a life support machine) please... i need 1 billion more dollers..

Hey! Sorry I missed this. I bolted and went to seed

(sipping first cup of coffee, beautiful rainy day outside) its never been more over for me

me and the boys on the USS Abraham Lincoln eating boiled boot leather and sharing stories about the most Realistic Pussy we've ever seen

my argonian dealer: (slurring) this guy! this guy is crazy man! almost drowned himself exploring a sunken ship in an ebony breastplate. head to toe in the brick owens lmfao 😂 ayo harry was it worth it for the 8 gold me, off 35 skooma: (staring at my hands) dude. i think the Nords control norway

Simon has left the band and whats worse Alvin said our band is called Alvin and the Chipmunk now. like im just a thing

mechanic just said “strategy game” and i’m sitting in the lobby staring at him like this

Heartwarming! Local Man Builds AI, Gives it the Ability to Feel Pain and Beat It Senselessly with a Cane ❤️

just watched a Type A guy use a rocking chair like he was trying to generate electricity with it

man about to lose his job at the camel spine destroying factory due to poor inventory management: looks like that's the final straw huh

one of those on the street interviews where an impossibly pretty woman is asking every guy “describe your dream woman”, and it’s becoming increasingly clear that one guy is describing a giant ant

surgeon was rude as fuck, it’s like he didn’t even want a visit from the tickle monster

if you were the chatter who gave me a blowjob on the northernlion supercruise PLEASE dm me i think you took my wallet. it looks like an NES

alright man

goes to show you that culture war stuff is for the bored rich and genuine dullards most people just want to be paid. really wish Dems saw this and ran with it

heartwarming video of astronaut Christina Koch greeting her dog for the first time after returning from space. the pup can be seen snarling, back arched, before scampering to its word buttons and pressing "IMPOSTOR" repeatedly, then "FALSE. SKIN. FALSE. SKIN." several times

fucked up and shaved off my beard, now i look like Grindset Humpty

accidentally overnight delivered Simulacra and Synthesis; the irony isn’t lost on me i’m the machine i seek to destroy

i have recurring dreams a lot. i think it’s a byproduct of OCD my most common one is laying in bed, covered in bugs. there’s a running joke between me and my wife where i’ll wake up and be working, and she’ll say “the bugs are back”

pussy from uhhhh pussy from a girl that uhhhh (kicking a rock on the sidewalk) ah hell i can’t think of nothin

operation run by george w bush freedom fries dickhead libertarians making four panel photo comics where fox news host has a picnic with luke skywalkers mom

clearly AI video with a valley girl voice: a major ick i have is when a guy needs to make a U turn. fellas, if you want this kitty, plan your drives more care— the 6th most popular twitch streamer of all time somehow: (angrily pausing the video) we live in a fucking society, where

happy to say i never had a podcast

you can’t help but laugh

Rice is great when you're hungry and want to eat two thousand pounds of rice.

it really is wild how there’s 2 whole generations who refuse to move on from a children’s story it’s fine to have liked it, but nothing Rowling has done has made you want to read a different book? nothing at all?

always knew there was something off about him thanks for Oceans 11 i guess

you ever feel like you live on a different planet than half of america

if you ever feel stupid, just know that reddit loves marjorie taylor green now and would make her the Dem nominee if given the chance

the UN is such a fucking joke. do something

thinking about The Substance again

american suburban audiences going to see the 90th disney movie about how the rich are killing the earth (they will never reflect on the plot. it has grossed $12.8 trillion globally)

looks like the rich get Richard

still kinda floored by how bad of a movie Alien 3 is. Fincher is really lucky he was able to keep his film career moving after that

ripped a cig from tip to filter in one drag blew out a cloud of smoke so thick it messed with the air pressure in the room

y2k nostalgia has gone too far. we need to reel it back in a bit this aesthetic was so cheap and tacky even back then. you’re eating from the through when you should be curating your taste

he may actually be the worst president of all time. never thought anyone could top Bush until now

WIPING MY ASS WITH SEE THROUGH 1-PLY AT THE CORPORATE OFFICE I HELD UP THE TATTERED PAPER AND WEPT AS I THOUGHT OF STAINED GLASS

H.R. Giger, 1968