Me: Look at them! Short haired baddie in the platform boots. Go say hey My Divorced Pal: Agh fine. Worst they can say is no right? My Performatively Accepting to the Point of Being a Sexual Predator Roommate Who is Also Dracula: Personally I don’t care vhat zey pull out, I vill be sucking it !

Strixhaven is right there and it’s so obvious that they’re going to do a Harry Potter secret lair that will sell millions, opening the door for a full, multi-set Harry Potter Universe’s Beyond really going to suck. if that happens, i’m probably cutting my losses and going all in on Sorcery TCG

say what you want about Jay Graber,

open-palm striked the gas pump this morning. security put two in my leg before i could complete my trademark Biden Blast Rising Knee Attack

went to the Waka Flocka show last night. realized time had passed me by when i was reading his wikipedia page during the show

accelerationists when their ideology starts affecting them directly: woah woah woah i didn’t think MY gas price would be going up

look at my resistance party bro i’m going to hell

instagram ran out of plane crashes to show me so it prepared a catalog of failed influencers with no end in sight you’ve got to have higher aspirations than that man. that’s so bleak i don’t even have words for it

caring about the burger CEO thing is genuinely weird beyond “the mcdonald’s guy knows this is all poison”, but reddit is fully obsessed with it i was wondering what lab these people were grown in, then i remembered the whole Sunny D “this time i’m gonna do it” marketing campaign & it all made sense

as a Palantir employee, this whole war with Iran thing has really been stressing me out. luckily i have Clairo and Chappelle Roan on 😅 one day at a time

That's the great thing about cheap gimmicks: the infinite shelf life

my review of Two Lovers (2008)

played Venetian Snares for my boss and i had to narcan him

every week there’s a new celebrity that goes through a Cronenberg-esque transformation that turns their body into claymation luckily it’s irreversible and costs millions of dollars

my body begins to glow slightly as i add 14 points to my RAADS-R score

The second you leave this country for even a few days, you realize the place you call home is decaying at an almost exponential pace. The realization that you don't have to live like this is stark, and that nobody in power is taking tangible actions to fix it in your lifetime is even starker.

if you see an unprecedented consolidation of media in the hands of bad actors who will only use it to phase out creatives who don’t further the propaganda wing of the department of the state.. warn a brotha ‼️

FINALLY

(spitting out my water all over wall) Go To Www Dot Porno Dot Com Immediately, Thank Me Later

worst sport, worst fans. been saying it forever but no one wanted to listen

The year is 2137. Earth's three remaining creatures fight over a scrap of ragweed in what was, before The Event, a Best Buy parking lot. Realizing the he will lose, Creature 3 turns to his diary. "The Atlantic: President Trump, softer tone?" he writes. These are the last word's written on Earth 1.

You think "the online left" is unhinged, dog please talk to an independent voter IRL. They want universal healthcare and abolish taxes. They want to dissolve the coast guard. They want to rename the army the coast guard. They want their alien implants removed, and they also want more alien implants

not exaggerating at all, this new crop of recent graduates that i have to work with and train have felt almost hopeless AI really lobotomizes people from thinking, or even being curious. they’re the floating chair dullards from Wall-E

i’m actually floored. money on the line, i would have been off by 700 episodes

we have to become snobs again. no more letting people just enjoy things

the Supreme Court has actively tried to institute this since Dubya but now that it’s messing with their investment portfolios it’s a crisis

when they inevitably do start running this stuff, it won’t be enough to just avoid it we will have to spend our money in other places so it’s not marked as a fluke

this kind of art, referencing the game unperverted by the perverted, really feels like salt in the wound

there was a time period on reddit, probably 11 years ago at this point, where the top post of r/TodayILearned was the wikipedia article for The Technocrats it would be the top post that got reposted every single week for what felt like 2 years. now we live in that world and couldnt be sadder

r/Interesting

i know it’s long, but this is one of the most insightful youtube deep dives i think i’ve ever watched really recommend it youtu.be/ewvRS3NwIlQ?...

watching the episode of TNG where a planet gets so addicted to an AI that they don’t realize they’ve sterilized themselves from radiation poisoning just a thought

fantastic video of the Magic that used to be. i think this pushed me to finally join the format

HIRING MANAGER: Can you explain this gap on your resume? ME: I was going through an alchemical process. HIRING MANAGER: Which one? ME: I don't think you're allowed to ask me. OWNER CRACKING HIS KNUCKLES: Was there purification with water?

GRANDMA TEXTING ME: How's it been? Are you still sleeping somewhere warm? ME SENDING A VOICE MEMO: I don't know. Everything is illegal [turn signal sounds] I'm getting awesome. But they made everything illegal

i love the mall

put the pussy in a psych ward the way i straight jack it ‼️

this is the problem with the shareholder model. this sounds great 4 quarters from now! then what? what happens when there’s no more high earners? who buys anything anymore? we are a service economy, what happens when there’s no more jobs?

historic revisionism is one hell of a drug

Great, another bowling movie

biggest thing to note here is that corporate greed doesn’t ask for these roles to be “as good as they were before, if not better”. they just want them to be good enough quality will suffer so much until we get fed up and return to humans doing it all

they gave them even more money and asked for nothing in return. pathetic