this is the perfect use of axios’s bullet point house style

Change in Headline

sure, you all think it’s funny to celebrate the death of Lindsey graham but maybe you should spare a minute to think of his loved ones, tv news bookers

he actually did the meme

[taps sign]

Brooklyn craft beer packaging goes hard

Kane should be above whinging for a foul like that.

the warning label says that smoking kills but specifically these will cause the c.i.a. to show up and kill you

Have you tested your smoke alarm lately? We recommend testing them once a week and you should have one installed per floor of your home.

One of the ballsier things the Clash did was lift the riff from Can’t Explain not once but twice: on Clash City Rockers and also Guns On The Roof. In their defence, it’s one heck of a riff.

This is the reverse of Paris, Texas

Attaboy Kiké

Okamoto had that ball Kazoomin’ out of the ballpark

Vladdy “they all look the same in the box score” Guerrero Jr.

Goddamn it

Like I always say, bunting is good, actually

Clipping and saving because I think it might come in handy

Not exactly beating the “league’s second most punchable face” allegations.

You could probably click close tab after the very first sentence. If you didn’t click close tab midway through the second paragraph you’re a sucker who doesn’t value your time and attention.

Once every few months this song comes back to me. It’s really very good: haunted and spacey and shambling and, in its own way, quite rigorous. www.youtube.com/watch?v=Std8...

Absolutely delighted at the prospect of Bittle-Battle lineups

Millions of years have furnished us with these incredible brains, singular machines that are the seat of memory, cognition, and consciousness. And for some reason, this morning mine is playing a fifteen second loop of Sisqó’s Thong Song non-stop.

none of the players the red sox acquired had a better single season than mookie betts' worst dodgers single season by WAR which was the covid year

Also I don’t think this game rates Free From Desire tbh

I would almost always rather be napping and even I think Morocco should have played with maybe a tick more urgency

Some of y’all send me the funniest shit. Some things I can’t post, but this one has me on the fucking flooooooor 😂😂😂😂

Has the NBA considered firing Wachtell Lipton and just hiring Pablo Torre to wrap up the Clippers investigation?

I have to say I started out a bit skeptical of this piece until my mind got absolutely nuked by the statistics cited here and now I’m 100% on-side.

Howling.

"I would like to solve the puzzle, Pat. Rodent Infestation"

watched this five times and the best i got is “like if timothee chalamet went back in time and did a character based on sebastian maniscalco for a live-action adult swim series that ran from like 2010-13” which i mean as a compliment somehow

That’s Old Friend and legit astrophysicist Alan Roden

Three outs on four pitches Tyler Rogers is such a delightful weirdo

You guys should all do me a favour and leave the bit about causing the no-hitter to end behind on Twitter

Attaboy Dylan

It’s so satisfying to see Springer massacre a baseball like that

It’s so satisfying to see Vladdy massacre a baseball like that

Wide shot of the dugout is killing me. No one wants to be within 20 feet of Cease.

This is emphatically the correct take. The only good parts are when Anne Hathaway is on screen (and a few bits of Tom Hardy comic relief that may or may not have been entirely intentional).

Another TL cleanse with Hathaway backflipping out a window. www.youtube.com/watch?v=GYDD...

If your Ryan be Cooper you're doing super, if your Ryan be Grim I hate identical rhymes.

Okamoto has some of the most deceptively easy power I've ever seen

BIG FUCKING OAK

So the most logical—and therefore almost certainly wrong—explanation of the flows is Red Tory types seeing one of their own in Carney, while people on the NES/Guilbeault margins of the Liberal Party moved (home?) to the NDP, right?

My hunch is Canadian numbers will take much longer to rebound. I think this time around people are less inclined to attribute the insults to our sovereignty and the damage to our economy and standard of living—which will absolutely still sting in 2029—to Trump than to the country that reelected him.

Specifically: I think a multinational single-issue populist movement to ban generative AI is an increasingly real possibility, and maybe it could even win.