I once stayed up until 4 AM to watch Jose Bautista win a bronze medal, can’t imagine ever cheering for anyone other than the Dominican Republic in international play

I am being slowly driven insane by people talking about the time changes as resulting in “more daylight” or “less daylight” IT IS ALL THE SAME AMOUNT OF DAYLIGHT

I’m happy for him but oh my god get Ernie AWAY from these fucking losers

Can’t deny I love to repeat my jokes

One very funny through line in my life is all my friends having babies and teaching them to call me Auntie Em even if they’ve never called me that themselves a day in our lives.

2012 was the first year I got truly obsessed with baseball as a broader sport so the 2013 WBC was one of the best things that ever happened to me. People who think it’s stupid just don’t have enough fun in their hearts.

Nothing hits like a toddler who gets excited every time you come over

The trade deadline is so chill when your team is out of it and you hate everyone on the roster anyway

I am living this tweet this week

Been using the web version of Office apps for one day and I’m ready to end it all. How do people live like this

Ughhhhh I hate it when the sun sets at 4 pm! Way better to have it rise at 9 am instead!

It is so fucking ANNOYING to have the broadcasters deliberately misrepresent why Leafs fans would be booing Matthews. It’s exactly the same as when they repeatedly misrepresented why the American anthem got booed.

We killed 85 schoolgirls. We are not the good guys.

Israel and US: destabilizes the Middle East Canada: why would Iran do this?

I love it when I get alerts for all the goals and then a separate one that’s like “holy shit the Panthers are beating the piss out of the Leafs” ya I heard

This rocks lol

I’m sorry but if you send me an email with the ChatGPT prompts still fucking embedded I AM better than you

I know, I know, allow people to change etc but saying “before I got thrown in a concentration camp I just assumed all the people being thrown in concentration camps deserved it” is CRAZY

It shouldn't take being thrown in a concentration camp to understand this, but many people simply do not understand how horrific our immigration system is

These are the kinds of stories that need to get to the people who think ICE is simply being too aggressive right now, but is generally fine

I love how many Yankees fans are responding to the news that Stanton’s elbows are too fucked for him to open a bag of chips with “trade him.” What exactly do u imagine is the going rate for a baseball player whose arms AND legs don’t work.

Maybe he will be okay ❤️

Lately Max has been falling asleep on my pillow at night and I know the anti-cat people would say that’s gross but I’ll take that in exchange for the feeling of falling asleep with his purr pulsing through my pillow

It makes me crazy when people describe rent as “lighting money on fire.” Not everything has to be about fucking ownership, man. This is still my home.

It is just deeply bizarre that we’re however many years into this and yet the seemingly genuine surprise that the broader Canadian public has strong feelings about the 51st state stuff is still so pervasive.

However, it is going to be Very annoying when these guys get booed in their first games back in Canada and Chris Johnston and Frank Seravalli tweet about how bitter Canadian fans are booing their good boys just for winning gold

As a Leafs fan I’m just glad that everyone is on board with us bullying our own players for once

I feel like casual fans being surprised to learn the men’s hockey team are all Trump guys is one big difference between the US & Canada. Most of my normal friends aren’t hockey fans, but it’s just taken for granted that hockey players are probably bad guys. We all went to school with hockey players.

It's not just the guys. It's really not prudent to not understand that women's hockey has MANY of the same problems A lot of folks have joined the discourse this week w/out one iota of context or history & are putting the women's team up like a foil to the men's. They're going to be disappointed

REALLY not a fan of how many outlets have greenlit “look at those freaks over there” articles about online fandom in the last year or so

Anyone claiming to be shocked that the NHL players all love Trump because they only discovered hockey via Heated Rivalry better be doing a losing at chess to a dog bit because…

The Tourette’s discourse is one of the more disgusting ones we’ve had in a while. I can’t believe how many people are basically posting “if I had Tourette’s I would only shout compliments and affirmations because I am pure of heart!”

I’m sorry but I just hate the animatronic Paddington!!!!! He’s not cute, he’s uncanny valley creepy!

This is worse than the World Series

Sam Bennett I will find you in every fucking lifetime (threat)

Turs out there’s nothing wrong with the ACC crowds when tickets cost $15

People who watch international hockey and get upset about how their favourite players are being used omg can you focus!!!!! I would let every Leaf who’s ever played for Canada get carried away by bald eagles if it helped them win

Win or lose we should revoke Binnington’s passport

Leafs-ass power play

There was once a year-long period on Twitter where strange men used to reply to me by sending me my own picture and tell me they wanted to ejaculate on my face so understand how insane it is that I find this distinctive tone and attitude on Bluesky MORE annoying

Worst website on earth

Also I’m sorry but I will simply not be taking shit from Americans for cheering for “hockey Canada” like the moral choice here is to go for a bunch of rich white guys from the UNITED STATES OF AMERICA lmao. We are all in the mud together, accept it.

I am going to beat Radko Gudas to death with my bare hands

Now this is the kind of international attention you want baby

I love biting someone’s head off and then immediately muting them so I’ll never see or think of them ever again 🥰

Very, VERY Doug Ford’s Toronto to ensure that the bars will be open for an 8 AM hockey game but not the TTC. Get as drunk as you like but you gotta drive there first.

God truly nothing pisses me off more than rich Canadians living in the States talking up the American healthcare system. You don’t want better for everyone, you just think you should be able to jump the line because you’re more important! I hate you!

I’m personally very excited for Alberta’s vanity referendum on whether or not the federal government should do a bunch of things just because one really whiny province wants them to

One extremely funny side effect of the tumblrification of the NHL is the sheer volume of adult minors crying about how mean Canadians are. Just say you’re a Sharks fan and go.

Teemu Selanne retire bitch