Big lol at the Penguins fan in a homemade Go Birds shirt

Sorry nerds, Bluesky doesn’t have the juice on nights like these

It’s a good thing the Leafs missing the playoffs was Sens fans’ Stanley Cup

Turns out they can’t beat the non-Leafs teams in the playoffs either

Leafs fans who are cheering for the Sabres simply do not have enough hatred in their hearts. You’ll never catch ME going soft on Pat Kaleta’s team!!!!!

You don’t HAVE to pinch hit it’s not a RULE

Wow just think how good this game would be if we hadn’t let Max come out for the second inning for some reason

Wish we’d seen this standard of penalty calling against the Panthers ever

IDEA: Put the obviously injured guy on the IL

Is throwing 45 pitches in an inning good for forearm tendinitis

So far im not super convinced the forearm tendinitis is a non-issue

In honour of Vlad’s 1000th game I searched my pictures for April 2019

I can’t prove this but I’m pretty sure the only people I’ve ever seen in those dumb cop city connect hats are tourists

I’m sorry, if I buy a bagel with cream cheese at Tim’s now I have to assemble it myself?????

I love dropping ismercuryinretrograde.com in a Teams chat

My mom sent me a video of Doyle sitting in Plato’s box crying and now I have to kill myself 😭

Once I got rejected for a job and the HR lady was like, can I give you some advice? Remove the graduation years from the education section of your resume. So I did that and then like a month later some OTHER HR rep was like, why don’t you have years of graduation listed? That’s vital info.

You can take the goalie out of Edmonton lmao

I’m an Eagles fan, I’ve bandwagoned the Phillies every year the Jays have sucked, but I have fucking hated the Flyers for as long as I’ve been conscious

In honour of Vlad’s 1000th game I searched my pictures for April 2019

Kevin Pillar is a fucking moron, last night they had a graphic showing the starters have given them length every game of this road trip, today he’s in there saying the bullpen is gassed because it’s game three of the series and nine of the road trip and this is how it is when your starters struggle.

It’s difficult to think of anything funnier than if that got overturned when the Jays had already untucked their jerseys and flipped their hats

I was mid text slagging off the decision to pinch hit Sosa there, mea culpa

Nothing tastes as good as an intentional walk not working out feels

I can’t wait to be ordered to respect crybaby antivaxxers who die of the flu for being KIA lol

I’m tired of everyone pretending they’d have paid attention and retained it if they had learned about paying taxes “instead of parallelograms” in school

There is nothing funnier than listening to royalists talk earnestly about monarchy as public service and how the richest, laziest people on earth are “worked to the bone”

I don’t usually watch Angels games for obvious reasons. Is their crowd always this fucking WHINY

Is Mike Trout overrated? You gotta ask the question

The Penguins have the worst power play I have ever seen and I’ve been a Leafs fan for 36 years

Need to know what percentage of Americans who have chanted USA at a Canadian team in the past year are also keep politics out of sports guys

In addition to being hideous, the proliferation of annual wag jackets is the perfect embodiment of the disposable fast fashion overconsumption disease that’s all over sports. We don’t need a new tshirt for every little thing that happens! Teams giving away 20,000 poorly made XXL tshirts is gross!

Can’t relate to people whose parents refuse to talk about death, my mom made me help choose the colour of her KitchenAid mixer because “you’re going to inherit it”

Doesn’t it violate the no-shift rule if you bring the centre fielder in to be a fifth infielder lmao?

As a sports fan let me tell you I am eating up the Discourse about the Florence and the Machine concert getting booted to Atlantic City because of a Flyers playoff game

I dreamed that MLB made us play a game eight of the World Series. They recalled everyone who left in free agency like it was an emergency. Chris Bassitt started the game for the Jays.

I cannot overstate how much I don’t give a fuck if a baseball player is Canadian. Who gives a shit.

I would like to catch one fucking break one fucking time please (this is a baseball tweet)

I found someone’s debit card. Is there any value to dropping it off at a bank branch, or should I just cut it up?

CRAZIEST spam email subject I've ever seen!!!

I would rather die than listen to career advice from people who can afford to work for free

Actually I think it’s great that the team who has nothing going for them but the fact that they’re richer than God has decided to start nickel and diming their players. Why not.

I am much more that “baseball fans watch 162 games a year and are completely furious the entire time” tweet than usual this season

Local government that takes 4-month Christmas break says attendance important.

One of the absolute worst genres of post is “I just found out that [something completely made up whose source is just “a video on TikTok”]”

When I was 12 I made friends with a girl whose parents hated me. They never let us hang out, never warmed to me even ten years later. Anyway really excited to report that we’re still friends 24 years later despite ending up on completely different continents, hope they die mad about it.

Its been 26 years and we’re no longer friends, but every year around this time I remember my best friend saying she wanted to be the person who did the cardinal birdsong when Tiger Woods teed off at the Masters when she grew up.

I wish Americans would shut the fuck up about Canada for five seconds (this is a space tweet)

So far im not super convinced the forearm tendinitis is a non-issue

My most enduring memory of Eloy Jimenez is the White Sox hanging his jersey up in their dugout after he got hurt that one time and my friend saying “wait, that’s for an ALIVE person???”