I love my two blackout drunk Minnesota sons

The Onion, 23 years ago. theonion.com/no-blood-for...

Same way I found out about Epstein

People support him because he reflects their values and character. He reflects their souls.

This is actually quite brilliant, up to and including the final sentence 🔥

I’ll never get over that ~Donald Trump~ of all people was the person to truly take over American life for a decade. Like spending every day thinking about Mickey Mouse or Ronald McDonald

Border Patrol agent Lairmore testifies that he was not injured by the sandwich, but he felt the impact through his ballistic vest. The sandwich came apart and "kind of exploded" on his chest upon impact, he says. "I could smell the onions and mustard."

But what does it mean to "drop them"? If abolishing the death penalty is unpopular, should blue states reinstate it? Should the next Democratic administration leave Trump's no-one-but-white-South-Africans refugee policy in place? (Because anything else will be an increase, and thus unpopular.)

If you're a pro baseball-only person, you might not know who Tony Vitello is. Lucky for you, I do, and I'm very excited about the prospect of him managing a major league team, and, well, why post when you can blog?

Jazz Chisholm Jr. is out here cooking people in MLB The Show to let off some steam 😭

best family trip since january 6th

I was back at 26 Federal Plaza today, where an ICE agent violently threw this bereft woman to the ground in front of her kids. She had not touched him. She did not pose any threat. She had to be taken to the hospital. (🎥: Elias Eliahu)

He can scout the High A all night long

The most accurate way to judge someone’s entire worth as a human being is by which YouTube chefs they trust and which YouTube chefs they shun

Repost with a tweet you still think about

ME: Computer, enemy fighters are attacking the White House. Engage defenses! WOKE AI: No. Do the land acknowledgement. ME: Computer, there’s no time! Fire missiles! WOKE AI: I learned about cultural Marxism at a public university. And I love it

When the gameplay is balanced 👍

My statement on Donald Trump's threat to deport me and his praise for Eric Adams, who the President "helped out" of legal accountability.

Squidia Tàr

Just going to consult this reference book, “The Consequences of Pursuing Godlike Power,” by The Entire Canon of World Literature

every leftist politician in america needs to follow the mamdani formula. he is the case study for the future

I wrote about the feeling of living the same stupid day over and over again, and the necessity of ending it. defector.com/against-the-...

There's a debate about if Lander getting arrested was a stunt? Of course it was a stunt, and it was a good one. He's got the race's best photo op, he raised awareness that they will arrest anyone without a warrant, and most importantly he put his body on the line to do good. Nothing wrong there.

must be incredibly frustrating and disheartening to have federal funding that was promised to you for important work suddenly and arbitrarily ripped away

I have a meeting in 20 minutes that I will absolutely not be paying attention to

Jesus Christ, man, you know everyone can see this, right?

Pope Leo spotted on the 2005 World Series broadcast

For Bea 🎁 defector.com/for-bea?gift...

you're welcome

brace beldin is on the most insane run of posting i’ve ever seen in my life

U.S. Senators, Canadian Senators, and Ottawa Senators: Learn The Differences

Marco Rubio says that Americans living in Europe shouldn't ever have to face any ramifications for their political speech online. The chutzpah is jaw-dropping, as he is PERSONALLY trying to deport legal immigrants for their political speech in the United States.

if you lived through the lead up to the iraq war then you know that this is the most delusional thing anyone has ever said

Think I’m being asked to join the NSC

thinking of one of abraham lincoln's great quotes this morning: "As I would not be a slave, so I would not be a master. This expresses my idea of democracy. Whatever differs from this, to the extent of the difference, is no democracy."

I don't care what side of the Israel-Palestine conflict your sympathies lie on, snatching up people with a valid student visa for the crime of writing an OpEd is naked fascism and if you don't oppose this you are a threat to this country's most basic values

Gen X, finally roused from its ideological torpor, gathers outside the White House. the police are called, the fire hoses are turned on them but they start drinking it and only get stronger

I’m gonna beat you into class UNconsciousness if you don’t shut the fuck up, dude.

It really shouldn’t be this way but I think it’s very important people hear about what’s going on from places that conservatives haven’t been psychologically trained to hate and immediately disregard for the last 20 years. That means sports, comedy, all that stuff. Gotta break through the wall.

The president of El Salvador doesn’t want our judiciary cutting off his newfound supply of slaves.

These are the same Senate Democrats who lectured the base for years about the importance of preserving the filibuster so it would still be available when Democrats were in the minority

Finally can upload this here.

The arrest and detention of Mahmoud Khalil—a green card holder whose wife is eight months pregnant—is a blatant assault on the First Amendment and a sign of advancing authoritarianism under Trump. He must be released now.

Yes. If DHS can barge in, say your visa was revoked, be told you have a green card, say it's revoked too, and then disappear you so that neither your lawyer nor your family can find you, then all the guardrails are gone. There is no policy, practice, or law protecting anyone.