Snow day with the bestie ❄️🥰

Might post pole. Winter weather has me ferallll

I’ve started romantically seeing a baker which is just absolutely awful (amazing) for me. He’s making me sweet bread and cinnamon rolls 😋🤭

the perennial "is this a good replacement for twitter / can it become as big as twitter" discussion is so confused. hominids became bipedal about 7 million years ago. for most of the time since we did not have microblogging. it's not a necessity it's a habit, if it all goes away that's fine

Happy 38th birthday to the talented FKA twigs.

Me: 4 sips into my coffee, barely opened my laptop Coworker in Florida: “dude I got no sleep because this crazy woman tried coming at my wife with scissors attempting to murder her.”

Leg day 😘 follow me on Hevy? 🥹👉👈

Contrary to popular belief, we are not all “short kings”. The correct titles, by height, are… • 5’6” (168cm): Little Lord • 5’5” (165cm): Pocket Prince • 5’4” (163cm): Short King [aka Compact King] • 5’3” (160cm): Mini Emperor • 5’2” (157cm): Diminutive Deity

GODZILLA MINUS ZERO, sequel to 2023's Oscar winner, will release in theaters on November 6.

Had this nice holiday romance with a boy from NYC and it’s budding into something more very rapidly 🫣🤭

Happy Traitors Day to those who celebrate

Mmmmm only cried 4 or 5 times finishing Heated Rivalry tonight 🥹

I might knock

the entire lie they’re trying to sell you is you don’t know how to do This Thing without AI when in fact you have always known how to do This Thing and AI will actually rot your brain into NOT knowing how to do This Thing anymore - a hall of fame grift

Stop flirting with me and meet me already!

If wrapped has taught me anything it’s that Lorde was much more popular with the gays this summer than I gave her credit.

Elphaba spotted in DC

After you help your boss convert a doc to PDF

West Point is committing "a crime of serious proportion" then.

🥰

Really wish Bluesky could have a way to turn off reposts by account because fucking hell

For years, but especially for the past year, Democrats have been in thrall to the idea that they need to chase an imagined median voter, and adopt that voter’s positions. Mamdani’s victory shows another way: hold principles, and persuade people to share them.

Omg is tomorrow my birthday?? 🤭

I didn’t even know the World Series was happening until today… lol

they deep fried her

Read the whole shebang here ⬇️

I turn 30 in a week 🎉🎉

My favorite chaotic trait about myself is how absolutely slutty I am online, but then watching men psychotically mad when I say I’m not interested in hooking up.

YOURE TELLING ME I CAN PLAY ZA ON MY SWITCH??? I DONT NEED A 2???? I HAVE SO MUCH CATCHING UP TO DO

I’m so happy I stayed up for this 😍🥹💃🕺 open.spotify.com/album/75FM00...

This man just DM’d me requesting I have bator sex with his husband for his husband’s birthday next month.

Late to the party — but add me? :) nytimes.onelink.me/IM32/6co6e5so

I WANT A BOYFRIEND

The tiniest amount of liquid in my bladder 🤝 barbell hip thrusts

I am politely requesting attention 🥹👉👈

Zeus and Hera are the Jax and Stassi of the Olympic gods.

yea so im horny today 🙂‍↔️

EVERYONE on this university campus is sucking on a USB stick it's so crazy that we had exactly one generation that didn't get addicted to nicotine and then we just went back to it

Using realtor as a slur from now on.

Oh and I forgot to charge my headphones. Describe a worse morning

Got stuck at a railroad crossing for 10 minutes and the end of the train didn’t appear until I made a u-turn…

I’m not depressed, but I’m like… depressed. Idk if that makes sense or not?

“No separate checks” should be illegal btw and I am so fucking serious

Took a week of from the gym and I feel physically gross but mentally so well I needed the extra time to relax and be lazyyyyy

AMBER MARK THANK YOUUUUU

Good morning to Amber Mark and Amber Mark ONLY

Been looking forward to this day for so long 🥹🥰 open.spotify.com/track/1oQSC1...

Entering cuffing szn and I just deleted the apps. Here’s to being alone 🥂