FEEL NOTHING is objectively the funniest thing you could possibly write on a condom

Happy Perfect Date to all who celebrate. #April25

at work, when someone asked about AI datacentre carbon emissions for the AI partners our household name firm is cheerfully jumping into bed with, it was very clear that our most senior technology execs had just been given some obviously fake "basically it's net zero," PR line by the AI companies

my favourite AI Guy move is where they talk cheerfully about it destroying All The Jobs except no it's fine because it'll create new jobs and then when you ask what new jobs they get confused and shut down for a moment before telling you about whatever other dumb shit they think it helps with

Gentlemen, start your lettuces.

having a problem with the Randolph & Mortimer remix album which is that I am trying to listen all the way through but track 2 is so good that I just want to listen to it on repeat, possibly forever randolphandmortimer.bandcamp.com/track/the-in...

met a friendly cat in the street, so I would rate today as "tentatively positive"

With so much awful news, here is something to brighten your day:

I loathe gambling with a passion and think everyone connected with or lobbying for the industry should be [redacted] but it is somewhat funny that in the rush to grift and scam, the entire history of gamblers fucking around to rig things has been instantly forgotten edition.cnn.com/2026/04/23/e...

not me* spending money on all sorts of wishlisted stuff on bandcamp as a result of FOMO for an event I haven't even been to for nearly twenty years but still think about going to *absolutely me

oh! just remembered something important I meant to share, which is this

This is a trap.

38 y/o gf who still sings “greensleeves”: they’re debating whether trollop is a slur and i just can’t with the tavern today. Me [heard “trollop” and got so hard my humors get unbalanced]: i think i hauve st. anthony’s fire

"iron" chef? aw don't worry babe, it happens to everyone

this is how real ones do it, IYKYK

Marceline [Id 1 to 4 : Four points of view of wood carved rain frog. The frog is grumpy, round, and plump. It has little butt cheeks. On a workbench.] #sciart

HELL YEAH, BIG LAD

Extremely rapidly recalculating my tier rating of minor DS9 characters after Martok's wife shows up and is, quite frankly, a Whole Thing 🖤

do you think refurbished ex-corporate issue laptops get excited at the prospect of wild times ahead when they find out they're going to be used as a cheap DJ laptop, or do they fret because they're super straight-laced and aren't comfortable with anything more outré than business casual?

TERFs are the scum of the earth. I genuinely hope each one of them hates every single moment of their life, and never knows a moment's joy as every friendship they had withers and their heart twists to an inky black charred fragment as they sink deeper into the fascism that they unleashed

“Hello, yes—if everyone could please stop what they’re doing… This is a very important announcement:
my food bowl is only 73% full. I will now be taking questions, but only if they come with snacks.” #cats #BlueskyCats #gato #CatsOfBluesky

I refuse to hold Gritty to the same standards as ICE. Gritty can do whatever the fuck he wants.

a cat account I follow over on insta went live yesterday, and it was just the camera propped up while the cat was sitting kind of out-of-focus in the middle distance as their person did manual work. The cat eventually wandered off a bit further into the distance. A+ excellent use of social media 😍

A co-worker once told a story about how he'd sometimes see his elderly neighbour on hands and knees in the garden, laboriously cutting their lawn with a small pair of scissors. He had checked up on them a few times, and been told nope, they were just fine thank you.

Prepare to watch the greatest videogame trailer ever made youtu.be/FODWkUYMuQc?...

while I am v glad to have been diagnosed with ASD/ADHD a few months back, even though the diagnoses were not remotely a surprise I do now sometimes feel really self-conscious when I catch myself Being A Certain Way, in a way that I didn't feel when it was just assumption/supposition 🙃

kids we have some news about Mr Tumnus and they're not good

oh my GOD roguescreenprint.bigcartel.com/product/acab...

HELLO WHAT YES I AM READY RIGHT THE FUCK NOW

Hello! I still badly need work in narrative design or game writing etc. I’ve been in games for 20 years and I’m responsible for the mobile smash hit Lily’s Garden. I will take on full-time or contract work but I really need to pick something up soon. Please get in touch if you have/know of something

Me: I have had an idea. BRUNCH OFF Lady Companion: what Me: It's where we go to a different cafe for brunch each weekend for the next few weeks and compare them because I couldn't decide where might be good to go for brunch this weekend Lady Companion: ok I'm in

This is great

imagine sitting on a potential challenger to the current bloc of social media platforms people are on but dislike for various reasons and going "no, no I must burn through my userbase's goodwill as fast as possible because I'm too bitter that funny trans women are more popular than AI dweebs"

Finding it comically telling that my phone can broadly identify the subject of photos and yet there's no way to tell most social media sites "do not ever show me pictures of this thing, I hate it"

a surprise algorithmic interruption to cat accounts, lizard accounts, and bald industrial scene dudes over on insta

Evidently I live my life in such a way that I cannot participate in icebreakers at corporate events and training courses. I have never met any famous people, there are no interesting yet slightly unbelievable facts about my life that can be shared as part of a guessing game

A great piece by @lukeplunkett.com on @aftermath.site on this incredible sense of place that the Yakuza series provides.

Starship Troopers no seriously, I think it just completely commits to its whole thing, and the Klendathu drop sequence when you finally catch back up to the opening scene and everything goes to shit is my THIS IS CINEMA meme moment also the very first time I watched it with my dad and he hated it

If I found out that a friend had played through Mass Effect as broshep, I wouldn't be upset, I'd just feel a little sorry for them If they had played AssCreed: Odyssey as Alexios though, I'd probably sit them down in a Saw franchise style trap where they had to play as Kassandra or get exploded idk

With the help of the Sandy Hook families, The Onion has reached a long-awaited deal to take over InfoWars. We've enlisted the help of @timheidecker.bsky.social, who will be InfoWars' Creative Director. Please stand by for more.

ohhhhhhhh last time I went to an optician, she referred to me as an indoor cat* and I kind of see why now *because I'd said I worked indoors sitting looking at a screen and that my hobbies were mostly doing the same really

By way of example

this "Mandelson" character sounds like a bit of a bad egg, if only anyone had known, eh?