*to the tune of sweet caroline* Pope's weak on crime Ba ba baaaaa

God of my own planet… can you believe that? It’s what these people tell me and they’re good people, at least they look like good people, always dressed very nice and they called me sir, no one says that anymore. But if I had my own planet I would do great things with the real estate believe me

sick of these catholic converts showing up and saying "well I have a different interpretation of the scripture" no you don't. that's protestantism and a heresy. don't like it there's the (incredibly beautiful and heavily ornamented with precious metals) door

do you want "Catholicism but american" we invented that, it's called Episcopalianism and it's even more woke. all the priests are lesbians. good luck

Pisces: Your eyes go black and birds fall out of the sky as you smile for the first time in centuries. All is transpiring according to prophecy.

Pierre Poilievre 🤝 JD Vance

Wow guess I really got that one wrong huh? Turns out several types of weapon formed against me will prosper. And like, really easily

Keep imagining Orbán thinking to himself "I've got the machinery in place to seize and keep power anyway but if I do they're going to keep sending JD Vance to talk to me and l just don't want to do this anymore. I don't want to talk to JD Vance anymore."

To any Hungarians annoyed that Americans are placing the credit for your momentous victory on the shoulders of our stunningly repellent little weasel of a VP: you are correct to feel that way, I'm sorry, we just want to seize any available oppurtunity to humiliate him specificially

August is currently literally trapped in his apartment because he is a wheelchair user on the 5th floor and the elevator is broken, which means anything he needs for the foreseeable future has to get delivered with an ethical "walk up 5 flights of stairs about it"-size tip attached

nobody wants to live in a neighborhood with people who illegally and in secret cut down six ancient juniper trees which obstruct their view of the three sisters mountain range and then settle out of court with the 76 year old owner to avoid charges of elder abuse either

if you're afraid of other languages, religions, and cultures then stay inside Weenie Hut Junior, the rest of us will be outside enjoying our cities

I'll take it a step further: give me 50,000 neighbors who don't speak the same language as me, practice a variety of religions, have a mix of cultural backgrounds, etc. before I have to live next to one asshole like Dale Partridge, the grifting pastor of an online pyramid scheme.

my sister was making a BLT without mayo so I said "you're really just gonna have an unlubricated sandwich?" and now she's mad at me

People have been shocked that an AI company is offering chats with an AI Jesus for $1.99/minute but it's important to remember and respect the fact that a core part of American evangelicalism is being financially defrauded by people who claim to speak for god

imagine being Alice Cullen and your brother starts dating a human and then they break up, and THEN you go to visit her and realize she's in a situationship with a werewolf you'd be like, ohhhh okay she's just a chaser

My book Courtroom Science and Trans Youth is out TODAY, just in time for Trans Day of Visibility! It’s about how courts treat science and scientific expertise in family law cases involving trans children, and how we need to do better and stop medicalizing and gatekeeping them.

we watched New Moon tonight and at the end when Edward proposed to Bella she whispered decisively "hell yes" 💀💀💀

So here is my crowdfunding links again. No desperate need at the moment but I wouldn't say no to a little bit of help. I'm currently trapped in my apartment due to a broken down elevator. venmo.com/code?user_id... cash.app/$CAugustMcMu... PayPal.me/AugustMcMullen www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/...

My favorite part of JD Vance beefing with the Pope is us having an excellent reason to take 40k memes back from the right wing chuds.

need everyone to see the kinds of targeted ads I'm suddenly getting on Facebook as a queer person in Calgary

now imagining if this had been going on when someone made an Emergency Epipen Purchase the other day 💀💀💀

"Complex carbohydrate" what's that a french fry with feelings

God forbid a man has hobbies.

Why is it that every time a video game gives you a “keep this NPC alive/guide them to destination” type quest, they give the NPC in question the stupidest ai in the entire game?

right now the front end of the store has some thing going on where you get a free pack of Disney stickers if you spend $25 and it doesn't apply to prescriptions but it DOES apply to OTCs so now I have to offer people a pack of stickers with their Plan B

This infuriating attitude shows up on the bookshelves in learning environments, too. We expect girls to empathize with boys, but we kneecap every opportunity to let boys empathize with girls. And look where we are.

Anybody who lumps together the pregnancy rates of 15-year-olds (minors) and 19-year-olds (young, but adults) belongs on a watch list, not a watched TV show.

i think what i would like is a week where i do not have to have a medievalist explain something to me because of something donald trump did

boy do I miss when you could go on the internet and see, in chronological order, posts made by people you followed

Contrary to public perception a huge % of pregnant teenagers in the 1990s were impregnated by adult men. The younger they were, the larger the average age gap between mother and father was. Fixing teen pregnancy was in part a clampdown on statutory rape. That's what conservatives want to reverse.

I spent a hundred hours on this cosplay and I’ve shared like no photos of it. Anyway Dark Justiciar Shadowheart 🖤 #bg3

Cite the deep magic to me, witch. I was there when it was written and I think it’s important to credit our sources.

the first coffee shop in England, by all accounts, was in Oxford by at least 1650, and predates the regular consumption of tea in england. first record of tea being sold for non-medicinal purposes was in a London coffeeshop in 1657

If anyone wants to help I could really appreciate it. I'm still not feeling well. I updated my wish list and although I know the bed is a big wish that's what I'm trying to put money towards right now. venmo.com/code?user_id... www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/...

Why is Lovecraft the only author where they make books/movies/games about all their stories being real. Why isn't there an RPG where all of Ernest Hemingway's stories are happening at once. Why has Brian Yuzna not explored the Joyce Carol Oates shared universe.

Games like darts, billiards, bowling and chess completely give away what's going on. The ONLY reason to segregate these sports by sex in the first place is because men cannot emotionally handle losing to women. The ONLY reason to lock out trans people is bigotry.

Greatest. Correction. Ever.

Golden Arches are we, not this crude matter

a fun thing about Alberta is you can buy an Epipen without a prescription and a fun thing about THAT is I found out because someone in the early stages of anaphylaxis walked up like "can I buy an epipen right now"

They should make new cough drop flavors. Green apple. Kahlua. McDonald’s Hot Mustard

baby, are you 1% hydrocortisone? because your pronouns are it/she

THIS IS MY LAST RESORT

CUT MY LIFE INTO PIECES

a huge shout-out to the reviewers who have already submitted their comments despite having like two and a half more weeks to do so. i wish you luck on whatever it is you're clearly procrastinating on working on instead.

So amid all the craziness going on in US and world politics, I just want to take a moment and draw your attention to this leucistic ratsnake who absolutely and inexplicably HATES Markiplier. It’s very important to me that you are all aware of Tofu and his singular hatred for Markiplier.

Personally I think it’s beautiful that people get so horny they learn statics.

found out the other intern at the pharmacy has not taken the jurisprudence modules yet and I had the pleasure of introducing him to some fun facts about the full scope of our practice

I am not necessarily in desperate need right now but I am just posting this to remind people that I have no income and I'm disabled. Any help well helps. venmo.com/code?user_id... cash.app/$CAugustMcMu... PayPal.me/AugustMcMullen www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/...