That's such a good question! Tell me, did you try endorsing his opponent in the 2024 election?

the panting over-enthusiasm for Platner is another example of how you should never be horny on Maine.

If you took a drink every time that Speaker of the House Mike Johnson didn't know something you would be dead from alcohol poisoning.

"Anna, Lindsey Halligan here."

my woke take is that entirely too many people feel entitled to the benefits of a social contract while not feeling bound by the responsibilities of said contract

I do not suggest "drink when Mike Johnson pretends not to know something" as your drinking game, as you will likely not survive

"Charlie Kirk wasn't the saint you're all making him out to be and if you just listen to some of the things he said--" *red dot appears on my chest* *another on my forehead*

Drug smuggling isn't an attack, it's a response to demand. Claiming it's an attack is like me trying to claim that I was attacked by a buffalo wing platter last night. Among all the things these fuckers don't understand, not understanding capitalism should be physically painful for the GOP

Advice for new BlueSky users: This place is a message and part of a system of messages. Sending this message was important to us. We considered ourselves to be a powerful culture. This place is not a place of honor. No highly esteemed deed is commemorated here. Nothing valued is here.

Halva

I pledge to sext only with adult humans, moreover my sexting will be artisanal, small batch and produced under the highest ethical production standards, that said, some images may be edited to increase contrast, correct lens distortion and heighten curb appeal

The same is true for electronics. I worked for a big name electronics manufacturer. If the cost of the product at their warehouse, so built, packaged, and first leg of shipping, was more than 30% of MSRP they lost money on it.

Ok folks, execute your escape plans. They’ve arrested the girlfriend of the founder of antifa. I’m sure they’re working through arresting the whole org chat now.

‼️👇‼️

CHATGPT: I understand where you're coming from. You worked really hard to get here, and now it's time to enjoy the fruit of your labors. ISILDUR: So I should keep it? Elrond says I shouldn't CHATGPT: The ring is precious. Sometimes friends don't have your best interests at heart. ISILDUR: true

I did not realize the English language could be used to express the concept "I wish to divorce Nicole Kidman because she wants to have too much sex with me"

A traveler from an antique land--great guy--said to me with tears in his eyes "Sir, two vast and trunkless legs of stone stand in the desert." And I said wow, that's really something. But we'll be building a big beautiful statue to my hubris and it will stand for eternity

Damn, I wish I could argue that he's wrong...

Many people know that Bill Watterson refused to allow any Calvin and Hobbes merchandising. Fewer people know about the part where he went out hunting Calvin and Hobbes cosplayers for sport

The US is under attack from drug traffickers in the same sense that I am under attack from chicken wings.

I saw some joke that the ADL was drafting a statement condemning the ADL. And damn, they got really close to it

Jonathan Greenblatt no doubt trying to rush out an ADL statement endorsing this decision and condemning the ADL.

The best thing about Trump addressing the generals (I'm watching it right now) is that by the end of this speech there will be no question in any of their minds that he is batshit insane, and unworthy of their loyalty. And when push comes to shove, they will not back him.

Say what you will about Pete Hegseth's speech before the Flag Officers at the Pentagon... ...But I, for one, found it a resource I will continue to mine when writing up crazy-pants oligarchs, dictators, nobles and the Odd IlKhan for the foreseeable future in the BattleTech universe.

Also this

It’s Ok folks, it’s been confirmed that all the firearms are OK. Again, no need for alarm, all the guns are safe.

Gorgeous!

Just because the president has never heard someone say the word “acetaminophen” aloud nor ever said the word himself, that doesn’t mean that he hasn’t discovered something revolutionary about it that no other scientist has ever discovered.

@thegilmonster.bsky.social I doubt it's what the text claims, but the action is amazing

You don't have to be a TERF just because your gay panic bit doesn't work anymore and you're not trans so you can't do a trans panic bit. Just write some new material after the 90s you'll be fine, Scott Thompson.

It’s time for the white community to stop playing the victim & have an uncomfortable conversation about violence, parental responsibility & the families raising the thugs causing all the white-on-white violence in Republican-controlled cities. Maybe it’s their culture Did I do it right?

Ahem

It is pretty amazing to see people go from “the left is the enemy of democracy and must be purged” to “who can really know why good kids do bad things?”

going from "transgender ideology" to "look at the poor misguided white kid" without even taking a breath, unconscionable

I have serious doubts as to whether, after all of its politically-motivated firings, the FBI has the capacity and expertise to actually investigate Kirk’s murder. The lawsuit filed today against Patel and the Bureau describes a complete clown show that leaves all of us less safe

Glenn Beck’s media outlet The Blaze just gave an interview last month to the person who killed the politicians in Minnesota

A sitting Minnesota politician was stalked to her own house by someone who killed her, her husband, and her golden retriever, then shot two other people, on JUNE 14TH

These are all people who wanted to kill their enemies before Charlie Kirk was shot, are more vocal about it now, and will keep lusting for it long after Charlie Kirk has been buried. Today’s biggest event could have been a dog farting and they would have reacted by wanting you dead.

Well sheeee-it

I am not aware of any gun violence that happened when I was a kid. by RFK Jr.

Back yard bunnies including the most adorable double nose boop ever photographed @jenniferlmeyer.bsky.social, you'll appreciate this.

Fuck RFK jr and fuck this administration

This, from the Quakers, is a pretty good example of how to resist pressure from bigot lobbying groups. Effectively “we legally can allow trans people to use the loo, we morally should, and we tried it and nothing bad happened”

Minneapolis Mayor Jacob Frey: “Don’t just say this is about thoughts and prayers right now, these kids were literally praying,” he added. “It was the first week of school, they were in a church.”

Dood! I’ve been using my penis wrong this whole time

Today in AI Is Not A Good Source For Learning About The World's Most Misunderstood Body Part, meet this ChatGPT gem. Funnily enough, we're actually going to talk about how most of this is kinda sorta right (for small values of right), as a cautionary tale about generative AI.

If he knows and isn't saying that would make him an asshole. But he doesn't know, so he just an asshole who is making shit up.

“The First Lady encourages children of all ages to embrace the virtues that drive her and the president: laziness, ignorance, abject bullshit, and stolen material. AKA the same virtues taught by artificial intelligence!”

My favorite line from this week’s newsletter: “Now, most well-adjusted adults would probably look at this and say, “This is all totally ridiculous,” but the United States is not made up of well-adjusted adults; it’s made up of Americans.” open.substack.com/pub/johnganz...