they're a pretty obscure band, you've probably never heard of them

I get the sense al michaels doesn't much care for the people of philadelphia

how'd that green get on the plate?

he won't stop yapping

in an academic sense the purple end is the tip but visually it's the green end. these cannot ever be truly reconciled. in the same way that literally now means both literally and figuratively, you must simply accept the answer that its a single-ended double-ended phallus

great news everyone i have just enough clean underwear to get me to friday, when I can do three loads of laundry for free in my childhood home. that's what the holidays are all about

made ziti last night there's still about 300 lbs of it left someone please eat it for me before thanksgiving, thanks

another incredible week bolstering my There Is Not A Single Good Team In The NFL This Year stance

scott hanson as a representative of the national football league you do not have the authority to wish me a happy thanksgiving week yet that doesn't start for you until tuesday

let's hear it for the restorative power of the egg and cheese sandwich, without which i might not have the strength to, uh, keep lying on my couch

not the issue at hand but this did just trigger the memory of the time me and my cohost were reported by some dipshit freshmen for smoking in the studio but because the station was basically entirely student run the people handling the inquiry were 3 guys who would also smoke with us in the studio

I love that, based on some quick back of the napkin math, roughly 83% of italy's economy is just stuff like this

I'm going to say something that may be a bit shocking, and I wanna be clear I'm not saying this is the way it should be or that it's good, I'm just letting you all know something about the life I've lived: I've never had green bean casserole

dropped and shattered one of my coffee mugs earlier today because god will never allow me to go a day without spending at least $20 I wasnt planning on spending

we have replenished our strategic shrimp stock reserve

matthew mcconaughey the universe is telling you to get back to work

midnight risotto. it's the dish that's sweeping the nation

imagine asking someone what they're reading and they respond "the king james bible and the divine comedy." you'd punch them right in the temple

mayor of flavortown embroiled in scandal over totenchef necklace

someone on the other website got mad at me for not having enough respect for people who use mayo instead of butter for their grilled cheese

might try to make risotto later this week. if i never bring it up again it means i did a great job and everything went really well

[microwaving some leftover pasta] bit of a sad state of affairs here [busting out the microplane and grating some parm on top] get the french tire people in here they gotta see this

"chrome was updated" wow someone's fishing for a compliment

bit jarring to be half paying attention to a football game and suddenly the play by play guy is saying things like "the nazi regime" and "adolf hitler"

did the classic look at a clock, think I'm almost done with work, look at a different clock an hour later and realize I never set the first clock back. no calls, please

you gotta admit having "you cannot see rude posts" as a default setting is a very funny bit

what are we calling this btw? commie coast?

god I hate waking up

yes ... ha ha ha ... yes

gonna make one of my absolute favorite abominations for dinner: the indian leftovers hero

it's a bitch, girl

yamamoto unquestionably the mvp

ok NOW everyone in that stadium wants to kill themselves

kiké exploring new and innovative ways to get his shit rocked

should be a best of 21 series imo

lmao

why would you play when the levee breaks there?

let's get ken rosenthal out there to interview schneider mid "brawl"

I woulda maybe gone with a pitcher whose shoulder wasn't prepared to separate from the rest of his body at any moment to start game 7 but hey that's why they pay davey the big bucks

[hanging out with my good friends george and kathy at their new house in scenic amityville] boy you sure love sharpening that axe, huh george?

It's really funny that he's pretty much always thinking "I really should've just murdered that 6 year old"

and this far more important historical document

she's here

dave roberts unloaded all his lucky pitching bullets in the extra 9 innings last night and is now back to the melting pumpkin we've grown accustomed to

pluribus seems like a terrible name for a show but then again the first time someone was like "ya gotta watch breaking bad" i thought "well that's a terrible name for a show" so what do I know

TERRAPIN STATION BUMPER MUSIC