if you tried to do this with giancarlo stanton everyone on top of him would be catapulted out of the earth's atmosphere

The Tyrone Slothrop of baseball has momentarily escaped the grasp of Them, free to explore the Zone in all of its tumultuous, dreamlike wonder. May he eventually dematerialize into the fabric of The Pastime itself

just got to show a bunch of coworkers "going back for more olive." i'm basically a god for the next 10 minutes

i never really cared for that new radicals song

finally, another excuse to share the stupidest thing i own

what exactly do you want random posters on bluesky to be doing differently?

my mom was adamant that i not major in philosophy due to the lack of jobs so its funny that all these years later one of the only jobs left is in house philosopher/pitchman for the planet destroying chatbots

i'm not one to defend ai but in fairness to the chatbot the prompt doesn't say anything about getting the cucumber back out

i'm gonna come clean here: i thought the guy was actually 100 years old

italian hot dog

italian lady curler when you're done with all that do you wanna come over and watch the knicks game tonight i have pita chips

we simply do not have time for me to go through all my favorite songs that are over 10 minutes long

btw i have also shifted focus to building a self-growing city, a concept that is real and that everyone intuitively understands and agrees is a description of a thing that both makes sense and can exist, on the moon

It’s weird that Mr Beast is the name of of a guy who does that and not the name of a male porn star with an enormous penis

drafts are for cowards

if the major american sports organizations would simply listen to me and adopt tennis' humiliation ritual of making the runner up accept a little trophy and field a few questions we could've forced vrabel to answer for this right there on the field. something to think about

if nothing else this game allowed us to move on from the existential question "what is a catch" and instead tackle the much more concerning philosophical issue: what is the ground?

Macbeth: SHIT

da champagne of beers

this should knock me out until kickoff

pretty good bit for lindsey vonn to keep doing on literal mountains

A tradition unlike any other

don't make promises you can't keep

"Why don't I just kill myself"

as compared to olympics classic, what the winter olympics lack in diversity of events it certainly makes up for in possibility of grievous bodily harm

what do you mean "mac forehand"

Had the opposite situation recently where the version of that album i was listening to cut that whole intro out so I was really caught off guard by the song just starting out of nowhere

I don't think the skull would hold up like that just one man's take

designer forgot about the deadline and scribbled this down 10 minutes after beating street fighter ii

I ain't reading all that. learn to draw or whatever

the obvious solution to the ski jump penis injection thing is to force them to do the jumps naked, which of course would also serve as a return to the original Olympic tradition, but after repeated phone calls and emails it's clear the ioc doesn't appreciate my elegant and practical problem solving

as someone who will spend 10 minutes in the grocery store staring at two bottles of basically identical soy sauce before picking one, next level chef is actually the scariest tv show of all time

I think if you're gonna make this argument the logical place to start is mick jagger singing "I can see that you're 15 years old. No, I don't want your ID"

ITS BECAUSE YOU FUCKED UP THE P'ZONE! It was bad when it came back and I don't know how or why!

i'm not interested in debating bbq vs grilling or how to cook chicken thighs or anything like that. i'm solely curious about what position someone else could have taken that caused the contrarian synapses that rule her brain to fire off "barbecue is really easy, actually"

double OT, that's when you see the REALLY good shotmaking

felt the actual physical force of "is it to sexual trigger men's?" lodge into my brain

theyre calling it the most easily avoidable issuing correction on a previous post of mine of all time

its such a relief every year when those games start and then that beauty and calm is shattered 10 minutes later when people start talking about them

-Beatles in Mono -Grateful Dead Lyceum '72 -Gretsch G6134T-LTD Penguin -1975 Bruce Springsteen Armadillo World Headquarters concert poster -Prudence

i will not be entertaining the idea of the olympics starting before the opening ceremony

I’m so jealous football fans get a skippable weekday fake all star game. Basketball fans get strapped into the clockwork orange machine all weekend long and are forced to stare directly at 72 uninterrupted hours of kevin hart

my cousin got really mad at me over thanksgiving for suggesting queen is "not good" and that don't stop me now is "some real theater kid show tune bullshit"

Bohemian Rhapsody. Three of the most annoying songs ever written.

let's remember some beautiful women

if you talk about these things to me I will actually just walk away

i know its not worth arguing because these dopes are just being straight up racist and theres no real thought put into it but its very funny there's a bunch of people out there who think theres such a thing as "historically accurate helen of troy"

in fairness they never learn that lesson in the series

i am legitimately laughing at the idea of me eating from the same big dish of baked ziti for a week being a "vanity project"