In the time it took me to take my kid to school this morning the local gas station jacked up the price another $.20 So much winning! I have such animosity them fuckheads that this did this

If I had a nickel for every time Franz Ferdinand was involved in the precursor events of a world war, I’d have two nickels, which isn’t a lot, but it’s weird it happened twice

Most likely outcome is that asshole dies of old age and leaves everyone else to clean up his mess, capping an 80 year run of never experiencing consequences. Only in America baby!

"Who was president during the whole fucking pandemic year" is mysterious to the public and the reason is because they're stupid, and conditioned and expectant for Democrats to save everything and thus are blamed for everything, no matter who did what and when

Happy Gary Retrograde everyone! The next two weeks are the only two weeks out of the year when Gary Numan is older than Gary Oldman

The WSJ calls it “the most severe energy crisis since the 1970s.” ⛽️ @wsj.com www.wsj.com/world/middle...

Some time in the '90s the GOP realized that both "read!" and "vote!" were partisan Democratic positions masquerading as general civic engagement, and that was the end of that

The trump administration and their allies are the most powerful threat to Americans' freedom of speech rights in our nation's history. The voices in the media who repeatedly told the public that Trump stands for free speech are their accomplices in tyranny

Pretty sure there's a connection between that poll where the majority of Americans say most people around them are bad people and the fact that nine out of 10 phone calls in this country are from predatory scammers

honestly kinda wild how this administration willingly created another global supply chain crisis after coming to power because the previous administration was cruicified for presiding over supply crises

They’re still gonna lie to us with this bullshit when gas is $5 a gallon this summer

Reuters Exclusive "U.S. military investigators believe it is likely that U.S. forces were responsible for an apparent strike on an Iranian girls' school." "The strike would rank among the worst cases of civilian casualties in decades of U.S. conflicts in the ​Middle East."

Worth noting and not for nothing: The bottom 10 teams in the NBA standings have lost a collective 44 consecutive games. Tank you very much.

restaurant manager: hey so, sorry to bother you, but is that a service animal? it's just, we have a policy- jabba the hutt: je wonna wonga, bazda wahota shonga salacious b crumb: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA restaurant manager: ah. ok. cool

Maybe if Platner wins he goes Fetterman, but that really isn't the issue. I don't care if he gets up there and votes reliable party line. He's still a damned nazi and if you aren't willing to draw a hard moral line at that, if you make excuses and whataboutisms for it, you've fallen into the abyss.

get weirder 🫵

Olympic gold medalist Alysa Liu and Daniel Radcliffe meeting at the Today Show

One of my favourite sides of politics/media.

i got a spongebob tattoo and i retweet spongebob fan accounts all the time and i went on a podcast with a spongebob influencer and told him i loved his podcast and appreciated being on. but all of my friends will "freak out" if you say i like spongebob. and well, thats basically just, totally normal

This is right. And people hate to hear it, but Joe Biden’s single most important task was to Trump-proof the US. His task was to destroy the Republican Party to punish them for Trump, salt the earth over them, and implement big structural reforms to stop future R minority extremism. And he failed.

you could make so much money as a slip and fall attorney representing clients who were injured traversing the liminal backrooms pools

someone transported here from 1995 with a layman's understanding of the Republican Party - "they like low taxes for the rich and aggressive use of the military" - would be more correct in their assessment of the party than many ostensibly savvy pundits working right now

Hard to tell if they're in on the joke here. Like this has become a common phrase for people to post whenever Israel slaughters kids again. They believe it sincerely but I also think they get a little thrill out of the lie of it.

All of the 14th amendment cases are incredibly easy to decide if you just read the text but unfortunately the lost cause right would like to disregard all of the 14th amendment.

At the risk of having this skeet blopped on my head in a couple of months, the birthright citizenship case is an incredibly easy case decided by straightforward text, and that’s part of why these amicus briefs are all such dunks.

If you voted for Trump, this is on you. If you voted third party, this is on you. If you chose not to vote at all, this is on you. Your reasons are irrelevant.

Operation Epstein Fury

things every single republican president of your lifetime has done - started a war in the middle east - completely destroyed the economy

Never forget who you’re fighting for.

Iran signed the JCPOA with the US, China, and the EU in 2015. Two years later, the US withdrew and imposed sanctions purely out of spite. 8 years later, America and Israel bomb Iran completely unprovoked. Now we're doing it again not even a year after that. There is no winning with the United States

It’ll be over by Easter vibes

I’m not gonna let Israel start war for America

"distressed human assets" is one of the most cursed phrases I've ever read

Nintendo: “Pokemon Are Real And You Can Eat Them”

…the united states is neither a small central european country with a relatively closed media ecosystem nor is it a formerly authoritarian state with a starkly underdeveloped civil society. even during the heyday of hegemonic mass media…

I will be a fucking stick in the mud purity testing leftist asshole instead of my usual suck it up and vote blue self because I have such personal animus towards Dr Shah.

Funny watching a good guy play him like a fiddle twice. Scary because the worlds worst people having been doing that everyday for the last decade.

ICE facial recognition database got me like

Fed it every fictional work except Wargames

IMHO, it is important that Woke 2 be deemed "excessive" by historians, "sweeping too broadly" with "punishments too severe." It cannot be merely a course correction, it must be an overcorrection. Nothing less will serve as an adequate deterrent against the fascists and their collaborators.

Woke 2 is going to absolutely bury these people. It is true that in the time between now and Woke 2, they are going to hurt a lot of people, some very badly. There’s no way around that. But then, again, Woke 2 is going to absolutely bury these people.