Texted this to my brother when the USMNT went down 2-0 and I was only off by 18 minutes

I REJECT THIS RED CARD

Imagine you’re preparing for the biggest game of your life and that stupid pedo makes the story about him in a way that creates an international incident? What a terrible way to go into a match! Real Game 3 at the Garden vibes.

FRESHEN YUR DRINK GUVNAH

for those who don't watch football - ALTITUDE is going to be a real problem for the English in this game as Mexico City's Estadio Azteca is higher than most world football stadiums. here's a photo of it from earlier today

Poch should have Bolgun ride the pine on this one. Since the USMNT only pops up on the national radar every four years, this imbroglio could well taint them for a very, very long time and torpedo the goodwill accumulated from ‘94 to now

Just saw a City fan calling fifa crooked for letting Balogun play against Belgium despite his red card

Finally it happened in real life

All we need now is a Karim Benzema-tier honeypotting scandal or a domestic league match fixing racket and we’ll be a proper footballing country

lol

A. Lincoln, noted lawyer and amateur wrestler

Out of the rack and ruin of our gangster death, The rape and rot of graft, and stealth, and lies, We, the people, must redeem The land, the mines, the plants, the rivers. The mountains and the endless plain— All, all the stretch of these great green states— And make America again!

"Gee, I don't know what you've got planned for tonight, Homer, but count me out."

Anyone do this yet

Jul 4th 1881 - Little Bill (Gene Hackman) arrests English Bob for a concealed weapon. 📽️📅 Unforgiven (1992)

Using airline wifi to tell people on the plane the USMNT score

I love Balogun but brother. You can’t do the LeBron celebration when you’re offside.

Sorry for the delay, I was driving to the beach, but I know everyone wants my Jaylen Brown trade opinion. Here it is:

When Senegal is about to advance but FIFA realizes my dad is about to go 9 for 9 in the family chat

It’s so Koever

West Morocco Atlas Mountains Take me hoooooooome

Paraguay Über Alles Deutschland Über (to) Logan

Nixon (1995) Director: Oliver Stone Cast: Anthony Hopkins, Joan Allen, Powers Boothe, Ed Harris, Bob Hoskins Watch Review wp / wd

Never underestimate the siren song of Paraguay taking their “2013-14 Stoke City” act on the road

Henry Aaron on his first All Star Game: “Stan Musial came up to me and said: ‘Well boys, they don't pay us to pitch, so I'm gonna hit a home run,' and that is the gospel truth… I know you talk about Babe Ruth hitting a home run. Stan Musial went up, he hit a home run and won the game for us.”

Paul Begala? Boy was always a disappointment…

Name a movie that flopped at the box office but is actually great

She won.

Happy pride, Bjork has a girlfriend, ICE is closing its concentration camp warehouses, Starmer is going down, they queered the reflecting pool, the US lost its war, and theres still over a week left

you: Please, dr moreau. your unholy creations are an affront to god. creatures of land should not combine with creatures of the sea. a baby belongs with its mother sheep, not imprisoned within a pearlescent shell until you see fit to pry open its hinges dr moreau: clamb

The sort of thing you get offered by a guy in a Hold Steady song

Lalas only ever broke through because he had great hair along with slightly above-average skills. Now he has neither.

They paved it, the motherfuckers.

We’ve got the Onion Newsvan circling the cursed UFC fight outside the White House.

Rolling a Sherman playing Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy through Operation Market Garden and causing Dutch 9/11.

Jun 14th 1940 - The Nazis invaded Paris. On this day in #Casablanca Ilsa chooses to stay with Victor instead of leaving with Rick. 📽️📅 Casablanca (1943)

Zohran’s teams have defeated two out of three authoritarian petrostates in championships over the past month

Jun 11th 1970 - William "Billy Batts" Bentvena was attacked by Tommy DeVito after breaking his balls. IRL the welcome home party, and the attack (which happened on Jun 11th) were 2 weeks apart 📽️📅 Depicted in GoodFellas (1990)