“And just like that,” Carrie typed, “we bombed Iran.”

Commencement speeches in 2026

Man Inspects Perimeter To Find Most Vulnerable Entry Point To Hamburger https://theonion.com/man-inspects-perimeter-to-find-most-vulnerable-entry-po-1849717059/

7 dollar gas. Well, I guess I'll buy an electric car. Oh those are 60 thousand dollars? Well at least electricity is cheap. Oh the government won't build solar panels because it's "Too transgender"? Well at least wages are going up. Oh the idea of jobs is fake now? Well at least everyone is happ

Sorry guys, I fucked up. I opened up the strait of hormel instead and now there's chili all over the entire middle east. I don't know what the fuck I'm gonna do about it. Please don't be mad at me

in 2016 a group of strangers in Kazakhstan saved a dog from drowning by forming a human chain to reach him. they just unveiled a statue commemorating the event and I'm genuinely about to start sobbing

Polish Nunchucks

American Baked Potato Association Study Finds It Best To Load ’Er Up

I know it’s difficult right now, but I insist that you seek and enjoy beautiful things, even if it seems frivolous or irresponsible in the face of overwhelming horror. I want you to feed yourself artistically, spiritually, and literally, because you can’t Do The Work when you’re starving.

Gnomes represent the inherent drive to be a lil guy

ICE killed a teacher in Georgia today when they chose to chase a man who posed no danger and had no criminal history.

Someone has sure already made this observation but the fact they can convert all those empty warehouses into prison camps means they could have converted them into housing, community centers, job training centers or, hell, libraries or schools all along. It’s always a matter of will not resources.

The President of the United States raped underage women. Attorney General Pam Bondi has seen the proof in the Epstein files and doesn't care. Thank you for your attention to this matter.

ICE told nurses this Minneapolis man “purposefully ran headfirst into a brick wall.” What actually happened is that they pulled him from a car, beat him so viciously with a steel baton that he had 8 skull fractures, 5 life-threatening brain hemorrhages, and couldn’t remember he had a daughter.

Man Who Lost Everything In Crypto Just Wishes Several Thousand More People Had Warned Him https://theonion.com/man-who-lost-everything-in-crypto-just-wishes-several-t-1848764551/

The point is, ladies and gentlemen, that woke, for lack of a better word, is good. Woke is right, woke works. Woke clarifies, cuts through and captures the essence of the evolutionary spirit.

Allow me to connect some dots for you: Too much of the world currently relies for its basic functions on resources which must be continuously extracted. You burn that oil one time and oops, now you need more. Geopolitical horrors are, in fact, one of the reasons we need to move to renewables ASAP.

The system that created Epstein, protected him, and let him thrive for decades, still exists. His market of powerful monsters still exists, and they're still being protected. There is definitely, right now, someone serving the same role he did, being protected the same way by the same people.

One of the things that you see at the International Civil Rights Center & Museum in Greensboro, North Carolina is a Jim Crow era Coke machine that was designed to fit into a segregated bus station. One machine two sides. The Coke cost more on the Black side.

Remember folks: if you have any small amount of artistic talent, any sex appeal, or can make your friends laugh, the richest man on earth is crying screaming throwing up because he can’t be you.

Some of you have never done a Double Pits To Chesty and it shows

Are we there yet? #art #oilpainting

We’re hiring! Our new resume portal is live, and we’re looking for top talent in NYC to help build this administration and deliver on our affordability agenda. Could that be you? Apply using the link below. transition2025.com/apply

Modern American journalism is a cocktail party for the well-heeled so they can rub elbows with the levers of power and slander the poors. They're court stereographers because they want to be, they like their policies, and they want them to win.

Trump: "The ones that are run by radical left Democrats -- what they've done to San Francisco, Chicago, New York, Los Angeles. They're very unsafe places & we're gonna straighten them out one by one. This is gonna be a major part for some people in this room. That's a war too. It's war from within"

A lot of you folks treat talking as some sort of dialogue tree with skill checks, where if you have a quest item you get more dialogue

Talk Of Fascism Dangerous, Warns Ministry Of Compliance

I get that the news cycle is packed right now, but I just heard from a colleague at the Smithsonian that this is fully a GIANT SQUID BEING EATEN BY A SPERM WHALE and it’s possibly the first ever confirmed video according to a friend at NOAA 10 YEAR OLD ME IS LOSING HER MIND (a thread 🧵)

It is pretty amazing to see people go from “the left is the enemy of democracy and must be purged” to “who can really know why good kids do bad things?”

When I was a teenager I was scared to drive in DC - compared to Baltimore, it was a huge, intimidating city with confusing roads (esp before GPS), way more traffic etc. Then I went back recently after 15 years of driving in NYC and LA and realized that it was, in fact, a tiny city for babies.

On this Chairteenth, we celebrate the good folks of Montgomery, especially our guy AquaMayne. Special shout out to the folks who, within 72 hours, recreated this in their apartment complex. A COMMUNITY!! 💀

Pride & Prejudice is to Yaoi what Frankenstein is to Science Fiction

If y'all don't start learning to think in Systems I dont think we're gonna make it. Every problem we have is interconnected. We have to stop trying to distil this into categories and understand this is a polycrisis. There are very few 'small issues' b/c they ultimately feed back into the system.

Shooting our videos is a little bit different now.

B-2 stealth bombers have taken off from Whiteman Air Force Base, along with eight refuelling tankers.

RE: Code Cylinders Ultimately, given that Star Wars was a bunch of Samurai Movies in space, it seems fitting that the Empire's entire security state revolves around the digital equivalent of an Inkan.

When one of these bad boys shows up you just know a wedding is about to bump some Jason Mraz

we have an elite impunity problem and a lot of the people and institutions that nominally oppose Trump will burn down their own before admitting that this helped produce him

They launched a coup, suffered no consequences for it, won back power, and have used the power to pardon everyone involved while remaking the country through violence and intimidation. It’s just ridiculous to talk about the political violence of yelling at ICE agents within that context.

Not true. I see you're a luxury watch dealer. I'm also interested in watches. Let me show you how free and easy migration has allowed you to earn a living. 🧵

"I spoke with a few congressional staffers who said that they had tried using Bluesky as an alternative to Twitter after Twitter was purchased by Elon Musk, but they gave up after their bosses kept getting yelled at by Democratic users angry at their impotence" www.semafor.com/newsletter/0...

we need a Democratic party for the left

I think blue sky gets the idea correct but does it in a way that sours your expectations for the hygiene of those involved