My favourite part of a banana is the piece of shit at the end

Very cool that every single person in this administration has got lifeless eyes, black eyes, like a doll's eye.

so many dead canaries and we just keep on mining

calmly explaining "it's not the breed, it's the owner" to my fellow scientists at our antarctic research base

wazzzaaaa dude happy birthday lol 😝 hope you’re having a good one wish i was there Also we all know the secret we share. Into the depths of darkness men like us tread. The hunger that drives us away from the light.

look the president wrote a little play about how much he loves secrets for his child slaver best friend’s birthday and made his signature look like pubes, I can’t see a story here

Furthermore, I know for a fact that my opponent was a willing participant in the Masked Feast of Blood, and that he himself consumed more virgin flesh than any other at the Black Table. And how do I know this? Ah. Well, you see, ah,

The moral and intellectual weakness it takes to be “antiwoke” cannot be overstated. The idea that surrender to Nazis is a war plan doesn’t rise to the level of contempt.

Show me one picture from Star Trek that perfectly embodies your aura.

One way someone could poison RFK Jr would be to give him some poison and say "this is poison"

the thing I hate most about that rfk quote is that autistic lives have value and worth and beauty and dignity whether they are able to do the things other people do or not. no one is defined by ability or lack thereof and to frame divergence as lack is monster stuff, utterly godless

There is no trans debate. You can't debate the existence of people who exist. There are trans people and there are bigoted shitbirds who want to eliminate trans people. So you stand up for trans folks or you're a bigoted shitbird. There is no debate.

if you wanna fuck dracula you're down for the count

I think if you're doing left wing party politics and you're thinking about focusing less on minority rights because you feel they're bad for optics, that's a huge glaring skill issue indicating that you need to make space for someone who can do a better job

Maybe the afterlife has game shows and one of them is identifying smells and people from olden times have an advantage when identifying things like pre-modern carrots but the recent dead have an advantage when identifying things like the smell of human teeth being pulverized by a high-speed drill.

alex trebek: tell us a little bit about yourself me: I've been taking vitamins to increase the volume of my ejaculate

Ladies and gentlemen, this is Capt. Jones and I'll be your pilot today and, uh damn that's a lot of buttons. That's a lot of fucking buttons

“Oh, did a sportsball happen?” I whisper smugly from my vantage point on a distant cliff, the sounds of celebration in the village far below just barely audible over the lonely wind whipping my tattered cloak