For decades the Right has daydreamed about saving their country from monsters, they finally got the chance and it turns out they love the monsters. The monsters are even monstrous in the exact ways they fantasized about! You never have to listen to these guys about anything again

I have a question. How come none of you are going to down there to get him

Imagine if instead of sending you a letter, the IRS dispatched agents to ram your car on your way to work, pull you out and arrest you because you had a math error on your 1040. It’s a civil matter, so it’s ridiculous right? Well so is immigration. They’re kidnapping children over paperwork.

For 248 years the streets of America didn’t feature a roving masked federal kidnapping squad that might send you a Central American death camp or just murder you themselves, but getting rid of it now is some impossible lefty fantasy that professional Democrats lamentably must struggle against.

I’m the guy in charge of rigging elections for Democrats. I fell asleep on Election Day 2016 (long story) so I forgot to do that one but they let me try again and I did better in 2020. But you’ll never guess what I did again in 2024

For years people made fun of big tech for inventing things that already exist and they responded with their magnum opus: inventing fascism. Incredible work

New awareness campaign

Chicago ICE Raids By The Numbers https://theonion.com/chicago-ice-raids-by-the-numbers/

One of the right wing's top cultural initiatives was trying to destroy the idea that assholery deserves shame and we'll have to reverse that. "I'm just expressing an opinion I'm entitled to." Ok but you're an asshole. "I'm simply doing a business practice that technically isn't illegal." Ok. Asshole

Cat running for office: But we're going to get rid of the humans because they've been treating us very badly. And our bowls will be full in the morning- perhaps fuller than ever before

Super excited to have this weird little story head out into the world. ❤️

“oh so you think the east wing being demolished is worse than-“ it’s a synecdoche, man. a visual metaphor. there’s a reason the aliens in Independence Day don’t aim a huge laser at SNAP benefits

social media is lousy with kleins, democrat superfans who want to tell you how to be incremental and circumspect, to dream small, to dodge and feint. oh you have principles? must be nice. we here in the real world understand how to be the lesser evil. useless stuff. small

Talk Of Fascism Dangerous, Warns Ministry Of Compliance

Just make it exist first. You can make it worse with each new pass while getting increasingly frustrated later.

Seems strange that they've got a whole elected official detained and the press is just like "hey look they've got an elected official detained" instead of, i dunno, making some people answer some pointed questions

For sale: baby shoes, very worn. My husband was a tiny footed freak who died scampering around

One detail here is that all the clips are of them just sitting motionless, waiting, riding; there's no "action" like you might see in other military hype videos because the "action" ICE takes is all just horrific violence against civilians. can't put that in the video!

What Order Will You Refuse making a big comeback in the important questions ranking right alongside Do I Have The Fucking Measles

anyway this isn't about Azad, point is Gandhi knew exactly what he was doing and it was to explain that the alternative to non violent protest was extremely violent protest, pls read Gandhi, the guy had a ton wrong with him but he was a master strategist

Your being really problematic about a smol bean flying their fifth generation fighter jet over your airspace.

america has two main domestic psychological warfare agencies, the CIA, whose job is to kill communists, and the FBI, whose job is to kill anarchists. they love to spill human blood but their priorities differ, and you can see this friendly interservice rivalry play out on social media

We need answers about what happened on Alderaan and assurances from the Empire that it won’t happen again.

made a painting of your team's plums

there is a particular joy (and i'm assuming it's not just one us artists get, but this is the current context in which i'm feeling it) when people who are giving thoughtful, critical feedback say that your piece has legs did you hear that, my novel? you could end up so loved

“A 2010 study that analyzed 40 years of protest coverage in five major newspapers, including The New York Times and The Washington Post, found that the papers depicted protests — even peaceful ones — as nuisances rather than as necessary functions of democracy.”

one thing about americans, we will make our own lives worse and more expensive if it means a group we think is “undeserving” gets punished

People online will really be like “you believe in having principles? that pales in effectiveness to my strategy, conceding every principle to build a winning coalition” and then not build a winning coalition

I'm a moderate on the issue of cars, I don't think they should be banned but I do think they should all be this. Now I know what you're thinking: what if I need to go fast or need more space? That's just too bad

Nostalgia in politics can work for more than one thing, it doesn't only have to be a guy saying "Don't you miss being racist" it could be a different guy saying "Remember when people had pensions"

and would you say that it will be bad for the country, if Millennials do that

White women will have one awkward conversation with someone from a minority group and instantly assume they’re being trafficked.

it’s incredibly difficult to understand why no studio boss has never, not even once, decided that a romcom might be improved by an Act II introduction of The Predator

AI Version Of Dead Arizona Man Addresses Killer During Sentencing theonion.com/ai-vers...

"Masked security forces captured an opposition leader in the coastal province of New Jersey as regime officials continue their months-long crack-down against pro-democracy elements in the embattled United States. The arrest comes as the regime issued calls for summary detentions without trial."

forget the ethics, the environment, anything else. It's embarrassing that you are using a program like that to do--much more slowly and annoyingly--what everyone else is able to do manually