He said "you wanted pasteurised 'cause pasteurised is best" She says "Ernie I'll be happy if it comes up to me chest"

Not mentioned I've got a book coming out this week, have I?!! 😉 Anyway, had a brilliant catch up with @jamesmarriott.co.uk on Singing The Blues chatting all things Carlos Had a Dream. You can listen to the podcast here. 🦉⚽️👇 tinyurl.com/k6hx9tkp #SWFC

I am sorry that my choice of language (calling Jim Ratcliffe a cunt) has offended some people in Monaco (Jim Ratcliffe) but it is important to raise the issue of Jim Ratcliffe being a cunt and maintain an open debate on the challenges of Jim Ratcliffe being a cunt.

And it's not a cycling thing, He's been good (in some way vital) for cycling, or at least his money has. No issues there. It's his awful world view which I detest: one in which only riches count, and at all costs. Every obligation to society is as nothing. He, and his billionaire ilk, make me sick,

RIP Bud Cort. How else would you even pay tribute to him.

Jim Ratcliffe is a prick. I always thought he was. He has done nothing to suggest that he is not a prick. I loathe Jim Ratcliffe and as a result I find it very hard to get behind his cycling team. He was a prick before he got into cycling. He’s always been a prick. I hope that clears things up.

Congratulations to former F1 driver Ralf Schumacher and his partner Étienne Bousquet-Cassagne who have announced their engagement! 🏳️‍🌈 As more drivers and ex-drivers come out, we hope their authenticity will help empower current and future generations to be themselves throughout their racing careers.

If the current gvt can stop infighting and Oohing & Aahing at AI like children at a fireworks display and take a mo to do what they can to protect UK individuals, businesses & institutions from the fucking Fash Mafia while they still can, that would be amazing

Scarborough this afternoon

By 'eck that's Grand.

Farage was banging on about Turkish barbers, so these lads in Glasgow did this. It's in Dumbarton Road, if you fancy a trim.

Harry Hill interviewing CMAT: "I think the Mercury Music Prize should be means tested."

Starmer and the people behind him desperately need to go now - get someone approaching half decent in and maybe, just maybe, Labour can still win the next election.

Swan Lake by moonlight.

A heavily redacted cartoon. My @smh cartoon.

And for those who say it encourages bullying, well guess what, so does being in school. That's just what kids do. Which is why it is even MORE important they know there are others out there just like them or who appreciate who they really are. Don't narrow their horizons, expand them!

He was actually a very good commentator; one of the few on the BBC who could get across the gravity or excitement of a moment.

The promo is already top notch:

Seaside update: Perishing.

Immigrants and drag queens.

This week's podcast is on the Wilton Diptych; what it's all about and who may have painted it. podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/w...

One of the very best people. Really looking forward to seeing Small Prophets.

"Law and Order", by G.F Newman. 4 Brutal and uncompromising plays, turning a harsh, gimlet eye on the British policeand legal systems as they stood in 1978... and all available on iPlayer. Dive in and be *astonished*. www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/epis...

Thanks to a funny tweet from ages ago I still think "Dog. Pig. Donkey" whenever I see a DPD van.

Sir Roy Clarke turns 96 today and, having considered himself retired on several occasions, will have works premiering on television this year. I'm still in the midst of writing his biography – a colossal, but infinitely rewarding undertaking. Some thoughts follow...

Sad, sad day.

Nuts in May.

Website: and your postcode? Me: my address is— Website: no no I’m keen to guess! Postcode? Me: *enters postcode* Website: is it no. 132? Me: no Website: is it no. 134? Me: it’s 1— Website: SHUT UP is it no. 136?

WHAT A WIN 🫡

Writer, broadcaster, Tony Hancock Appreciation Society member and novelty jumper wearer Gyles Brandreth writes exclusively for our newsletter, The Missing Page, celebrating the centenary of his friend, Kenneth Williams! Plus news, reviews and articles on all things Hancock. Join us!

That was a brilliant World Indoor Bowls final. That's it for bowls on the telly for another year.

I still find it amazing how Americans are shocked at how bad things are in their own country after they elected Trump again. He repeatedly told you what he was going to do. None of this should be a shock. Just an utterly deluded population.

I don’t think a state that is threatening wars of territorial aggression and has random death squads wandering about its mid-tier cities assassinating civilians should be hosting the World Cup

An SWFC legend.. Our skipper 💙

Celebrating Burns Night Eve with a vegan haggis I've made, thanks to a very good recipe. With neeps and tatties mash and greens from the garden. #burp thepeskyvegan.com/recipes/vega...

The Trumpists never assemble like this. Not once in ten years. Because there aren't enough of them. Never forget that they are a minority, scared and desperate, brought to power only through corruption, cowardice, and craven self-interest. Keep fighting.

Just watched the castle designer joke again.

Well done everyone, we've made it to Friday and the 463rd day of January. Here's our brightly coloured 1970s M&S underpants to brighten up this grey morning

If you ask me what has made me laugh more than anything in the last 5 months, it's Harry Hill's "castle designer" joke.

This week on the podcast* I discuss the magic of art restoration with Simon Gillespie, including some of his triumphs from the BBC series Britain's Lost Masterpieces. *(Waldy and Bendy's Adventures in Art, available on all the usual platforms).

A polite notification that, if you liked Harry Hill's interview with Stewart Lee, he's also put his entire World Of TV series on his YouTube channel. It being made during lockdown, it's got a lo-fi vibe that suits YouTube perfectly. youtu.be/GV3FS_9lXQA?...

In Scarborough's East Ayton churchyard, this truncated column memorial to a WWI soldier is a profound symbol in funeral art, representing a life cut short. It symbolizes the untimely death of a loved one, the breaking of the 'pillar of life'.

Two of my faves, and the most I've laughed so far in 2026, and I sure do need a laugh. youtu.be/GhJxiU1_5o0?...

I would like Tom Dyckhoff on here next.

I feel like America plotting to annex Greenland while masked state goons terrorise their own communities at will should encourage British press and politicians to reflect on what happens when you act like "far right" is an unfair slur rather than a necessary descriptor of a real political position.

Here’s a short poem about the power of poetry to change the world.

But yeah it’s interesting that that Steve Jobs level of consumer understanding seems to be totally absent in the modern tech aristocracy - see also Zuckerberg and Musk’s initiatives. They’re extremely clever people in certain ways, but absolute children in others.