No! They'll have us calling elevators "lifts" and eating baked beans on toast.

Isn’t it interesting how the Admin said we can’t afford cancer research but all of a sudden there’s enough money to buy Greenland?

this actually makes more sense than the plot of the movie

The weakest, most inept administration in history, unable to work out how best to deal with a dementia ridden President, and deciding to just let him destroy everything and hope he just dies of old age soon.

No Country For Old Men 2: Country Harder or 2 Country 2 Furious?

being a conservative grifter like this is crazy because how do you completely flip on one of your most central supposed beliefs like this. like this is absurd. does this not embarrassing them at all

Pardon me while I get up in this croissanus.

I’m starting to wonder if looking genuinely happy and acting like you really love the city is a more effective way to campaign (and govern) than scowling about what a shithole the city is and how many more cops it will take to subdue it.

Just heard on the Trashfuture podcast: "The best way I can describe Navy SEALs is, 'what if the Khmer Rouge were surfers?'"

Maria Corina Machado gave Tr*mp her Nobel, and he immediately forgot her name.

pretty sure he meant the other thing, grok, but very cool that those are your two things

This leads me to believe that up until this meeting, Trump absolutely thought it was "hole milk."

The Virgin straight men vs the Chad Femboys.

Rightwing influencers are so bad at interpreting source material that they can only do it correctly by accident, when they're trying to make a joke

You notice how thousands and thousands of cops aren't coming out to condemn Jonathan Ross for senselessly killing Renee Good? This is what people mean by "all cops are bastards". If this were any other profession, the entire group would condemn it. With cops it's the reverse, they all justify it.

The Virgin Democratic Party Establishment Candidate: "ICE isn't coordinating with local police. This is no way to bring down prices!" The Chad Episcopalian Bishop: "I have instructed my priests to prepare for martyrdom."

soldiers are mostly young people who want to do something else with most of their life. They generally don't want to live the rest of their lives with the knowledge that they executed an unarmed mom cops want to spend thirty years with the nickname "killer"

I don’t think we should have ceded control quite so quickly and without so much as a fight.

reposting

Comes a time in a man's life when he has to make a stand for butts and farts.

via Minneapolis photographer Chris Juhn on Facebook

I teach bystander intervention for a living and have taught de-escalation to law enforcement. Trust me when I say that bottle girls, gas station clerks, strippers, front desk employees at hotels and airports, baristas, etc. have better de-escalation skills than any cop I've ever seen.

What if we kissed in the coat bath?

Normal to want. Possible to achieve.

Gonna be interesting to see how they spin shooting a blonde lady named Goode.

mitochondria? more like mid-ochondira. up top.

Scully let's split up. I'll interview this beautiful botanist and you go check out the sewer system full of human bones

Today is one of those days where I’m struck anew by how *bad* the internet has gotten. It’s almost unusable. Clouds, apps, advertising — nothing is where it should be and it’s nigh impossible sometimes to do basic tasks online.

Of course, being the son of JD Vance, he fucked it up.

Happy Guy Who Tased Himself In The Balls To Death Day to all who celebrate.

the most braindead kind of take in these situations. we've had the unquestioned power to turn most countries into glass parking lots for most of our lifetimes. who on earth is still impressed by this?

some identify publicly with the left because they hate oppression, others because they hate being oppressed. things will make more sense when you keep in mind that these are not the same - or even similar

Daniel Plainview voice:

The virgin English town vs the Chad walrus.

Tell me The Onion did a “Well, well, well, you finally found a mayor that doesn’t suck shit, huh?” headline today

So years are like Star Trek movies, where the even numbered ones are good, right?

[Werner Herzog watching the ball drop] Everything dies eventually, even time.

today is for the ladies to have fun. its new years eve not new year's steve

Excited to announce GOLLUM, an app that helps you focus on your most precious possession!

An essential development over the past decade-plus is that the ignorant went from feeling chastened when their ignorance was revealed to banding together and deciding that, actually, they were right. They might disagree at times, but they agreed that ignorance itself was an indicator of trust.

They gave that Pop Tart the ass of a Pixar mom. On purpose. That's part of the costume. Troubling lore implications.

Sauron's security was defeated by two hobbits, who entered undetected through an unlocked backdoor, armed only with two swords and a flashlight

Just checking - there's still time to get on my Sigma Grindset and accomplish everything I said I was going to do in 2025, right?

Bukkake? In this economy?

About to watch Fantastic 4, does it matter if I haven’t seen Fantastic 1-3?

This cyberpunk dystopia sucks.