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Make it viral.

Really fun group discussion over on Twitter about what “murder” actually is. Learning a lot!

Sprained my ankle delivering the final line of Monty Python’s “The Bookshop”

Happy New Comic Book Day Wednesday! It’s a double release day for Minor Threats! 💥 Minor Threats: The Last Devil Left Alive #3 + the fourth and final issue of @archiecomics.bsky.social Vs Minor Threats #4 is available NOW at your local comic shop! @pattonoswalt.bsky.social @blumjordan.bsky.social

Yeah, I know. But the show is now Monday, January 12th. I figured people would work it out

This Monday, January 12th at the Largo at the Coronet! Tig Notaro! Tom Papa! Lara Beitz! Carol Leifer! ME! See you there!

In true Béla Tarr fashion, he took 70 years to die and it was a more or less continuous take.

Who’s booking the Venezuela Comedy Festival?

If you missed it, series 11 of YOU’RE DEAD TO ME launched on Saturday with an episode about Roman Emperor Nero. Our guests are the superstar double-act of Professor Mary Beard & Patton Oswalt You can listen now in the UK on BBC SOUNDS, or it’ll be out on January 30th on all global podcast apps

@pattonoswalt.bsky.social took this photo as we walked to our Casper gig last May; I never knew that, from behind, I look like a black bear trained to carry luggage. (Thank goodness it was out of season.) I’ll be back in Casper, sans Patton, Jan 9 & 10; delve: www.emophilips.com/writings/936

Daniel Plainview voice:

Andor 2x09 ou Mundo, 3 de janeiro de 2026

This thread will give you maximum happy.

Dude looks like an A&F cover model and everyone acts like he has open boils.

Thinking about the totally relatable John Hughes film SOME KIND OF WONDERFUL, in which a teenage boy has to choose between a) The Hottest Girl On The Planet and b) The Equally Hottest Girl On The Planet.

An Unlikely Alliance is Forged in @darkhorse.com & @archiecomics.bsky.social's ARCHIE vs. MINOR THREATS #4 by @pattonoswalt.bsky.social, @blumjordan.bsky.social, @comicbooktimmy.bsky.social, Scott Koblish, Hi-Fi Colour & @blambot.bsky.social #ArchievsMinorThreats comicsbodega.com/preview-arch...

Clean nutrition for the cop who needs backup NOW GODDAMIT

Not only is this outstanding, but it reminds me of an excellent bit by @pattonoswalt.bsky.social on the right’s strategically deploying certain language to advance discriminatory policies, and the need to look at the broader message being advanced: youtu.be/AkKo1_RP_0c?...

I love that 2025 is going out with this last troll and/or bot message in my Insta inbox. “Nunnery.” It’s either an AI glitch, someone who’s 83, or a home schooled 12 year-old.

Wait’ll you see all the crazy shenanigans my character gets up to over the course of the season!

Candles gleaming Children screaming All blood shall be spilled So blade or gun It matters none ‘Cuz Santa Claus can’t be killed

I mean yeah it’s an authoritarian takeover but can we take some comfort in the fact that the people doing it are INSANELY stupid?

The new @pattonoswalt.bsky.social special BLACK COFFEE AND ICE WATER has a couple terrific bits about AI.

Was a big fan of the monolith from 2001, had no idea it visited Epstein Island. Donating my Blu-Ray to charity.

THIS MONDAY! Patton Oswalt & Friends (moved from last Sunday — sorry!) Me! Jackie Kashian! Bob Odenkirk! Sarah Silverman! Tickets are almost gone. See you there?!?

I wrote this under embargo and remember being shocked when the other reviews came in. It felt like @pattonoswalt.bsky.social was the only other person fully behind this absolute kickass time at the movies. Punisher War Zone & @lexialex.bsky.social forever. www.sfchronicle.com/movies/artic...

I’m at the combination Pizza Hut and Kennedy Center.

A humbling tribute.

“Oh you mean THIS gate key.” “I’m just as God made me, sir.” “I had some more fried food for lunch.” Even the throwaway lines by day players in Rob Reiner movies landed. He delighted in everything.

I interviewed Rob Reiner as one of the bonuses for the @criterion.bsky.social BluRay of SPINAL TAP. We talked for an hour about the movie and his career and then they shut off the cameras and we talked about movies for another hour. A delightful, unhurried genius.

If you still get a chance to see this in theaters TAKE it because watching an audience react to the insane twists and turns is almost as fun as the movie itself. Saw it opening day and the crowd was INTO IT

*screams* www.instagram.com/reel/DRd2ldW...

Tickets are NOW ON SALE for Cali 2026!!! Get 'em while they're sizzling. PattonOswalt.com

Damn, that’s… exactly what I bet I looked like tonight

“Did you like that necklace I got you? You don’t remember? I gave it to you last week. You said you loved it. You really forgot that quickly?”

i gotta hand it to the "let's ban african immigrants from voting" lobby, they got the one spokesman who could convince me.

Got this year’s Christmas Ghost Stories from the sweeties at @biblioasis.bsky.social!!! With groovy covers by SETH! Can’t wait to crack ‘em!

You will be visited by 3 spirits.

FIFA just gave me an EGOT. #humbled #grateful

Just thinking about how fucked up mega-rich people must be, because they can't even enjoy their money properly, because the most enjoyable thing to do with money is to use it to fix people's problems.

YES YES YES!!! The hilarious and wonderful Charlene deGuzman is crowdfunding her new pilot FAM BAM! She’s a true original and I can’t WAIT to see this thing! I kicked in some $$$ — can you? If so, thanks! seedandspark.com/fund/fambam#...

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If you’ve watched the first few episodes of THE ABANDONS, you know the answer to this one

There are no old whippersnappers.

Hey, can my deleted BlueSky post get re-posted?

I've been remiss in gushing over seeing CHAIN REACTIONS in a cinema last week, and the compelling insights provided by its interview subjects, esp @pattonoswalt.bsky.social & @horrornonna.com. It's one of the best doccos I've seen this year. Get yr Blu here: selects.darkskyfilms.com/products/cha...

With the traditional hanging of the Quint ornament, the Oswalt Family Christmas Season has begun.

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