He just has to finish his bath. FOLKS.

Most-requested-song-on-the-Dr. Demento-show ass headline

😂😂😂😂😂😂

Bud Abbott voice: SCARPETTA

Is it eating the customer that ordered it?!?!?

This article in the new @harpers.bsky.social is CHILLING.

There are so many intriguing snippets of background convo in this amazing film. Not just “peas and carrots” but little every day plot lines. Listen to the woman chiding the one dude for eating too many donuts.

Man I had fun making this show. #APBio

“Everywhere I went in New York people openly loathed the very sight of me. So naturally I concluded that the entire city had gone crazy and I left. There was no other possible explanation.”

We need higher-quality grist and a newer mill.

that clip is not new, but @pattonoswalt.bsky.social recently reshared it and of course I had to research which of his Conan talk show episodes also had a musical guest

the most thoroughly vindicated man in hollywood. trade disputes and conspiracies ✔️ republic subverted over sex hangups ✔️ “sand people” killed, royalty indifferent ✔️ naive idiot casts vote for tyranny ✔️ villains with silly names like “dooku” ✔️ powerful clerical order screwing up ✔️ list goes on

Oy Vey Week kicks off in חַי (if you know, you know) style with a brand-new trailer commentary! TFH Guru @pattonoswalt.bsky.social notes that Shiva Baby, Emma Seligman’s uncomfy comedy of manners, turns a familiar social ritual into a pressure cooker of anxiety. trailersfromhell.com/shiva-baby/

Random-ass sticker backstage at the Wilshire Ebell last night.

I know it's not as horrific as a tan suit, but the President of the United States wore a fucking ball cap to honor the return of the remains of U.S. soldiers killed in battle. That happened. Class will always out.

Beautiful, devastating writing

“He says what the rest of us are thinking!”

Maybe Trump is the exit dose this whole fucked-up system needed? It’s like chemotherapy — the poison ALMOST kills the system but out of that chaos comes the death of the cancer? If this tears apart MAGA *and* neoliberalism then go man go.

Release Day! @pattonoswalt and Goat Song Records are excited to announce the release of a new album, from his Grammy and Emmy nominated special "I Love Everything". Available to buy now, exclusively on iTunes: music.apple.com/us/album/i-l...

@pattonoswalt.bsky.social was right. The only game in town.

Munhall, Keene, and Gardiner presales are NOW LIVE! Find ticket links at pattonoswalt.com and use code PATTON

All up in the Northeast in June! ALL UP IN IT! Get yer tickets starting this Friday!!!

A+ State of the Union counterprogramming by TCM.

Bro is gonna be mayor for 9 terms

Spread this FAR AND WIDE.

lol guess who met some commoners today.

💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯

They were holding a bag of Funions just off camera

Thanks dad! Would love to meet you whenever you manage to buy those cigarettes you went out for 57 years ago!

All I’m saying is, some of you have been a little hasty in writing phrenology off as a science.

“…this is a hard world to be ludicrous in.” — Kurt Vonnegut, MOTHER NIGHT

💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔

Wrote about The Kiss, one of those late 80s horror films that quietly did more than people gave it credit for. @meredithsalenger.bsky.social is an incredibly underrated Final Girl here. Some movies deserve rediscovery. This is one of them. #Horror #80sHorror www.horrorgeeklife.com/2026/02/13/t...

Just saw the trippiest double feature. These are both in theaters right now and if can see ‘em back-to-back DO IT.

MINOR THREATS was always “heavy” but this time we mean it literally!

Accuse me of xenophobic stereotyping all you like, but the last person I'm going to listen to about the real America is a dope-addicted unmarried immigrant who can't even count how many kids he has from God knows how many women.

We must preserve the solid Scots-Irish American culture of the MacHopi and FitzCree clans.

Sometimes Andy Capp is like a Mike Leigh movie.

get the kid in the brown hoodie a scholarship

Sometimes when I see some shit I really don’t like I just say “I hate” like this @pattonoswalt.bsky.social joke

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

(Entertainment news 2024) “NEW SHOWBIZ CONSENSUS: twenty rightwing comedians fame-pushed by billionaire algorithm botfarms are advocating for a fresh new dystopian police state that must be hip, edgy and overdue if these badboy funnymen are saying so”

Pam got her Christmas card for 2026 early.

Andy Capp is timeless.

OOOOF

Gawt DAMN. Hello dere!

I’m watching a lot of petty, mean-spirited haters dunking on Kid Rock on every platform and seriously you all rock.

❤️❤️❤️🫖🫖🫖

FIRED? Who gives a fuck about “fired”?!? How about “send them to jail for life”? And I mean ALL of ‘em.

YEESH. Brutal. But very well-written.