This is excellent advice

Apparently, when I post up for a fist bump it means PUNCH MY FIST AS HARD AS YOU CAN. Jesus fucking Christ.

@pattonoswalt.bsky.social thank you!!! Listening to you with Ted Danson has been amazing. I struggle wondering what can do, how I can help and if I am doing enough. If nothing else, I am taking this time to better connect with my kids and be the dad they need. Thank you and keep up the fight.

Happy birthday to funniest man alive and it isn’t even close

Dam been writing a book about this and she just TikToked it in 90 seconds.

When freedom is under fire you can count on me to ramble and mutter incoherently.

"You tell me who misled his audience more: Jimmy Kimmel the comedian, or JD Vance the vice president." www.thebulwark.com/p/emergency-...

Kimmel will be a wake-up call for a subset of people who previously didn’t really think it was that serious. But I think we’re going to have these moments indefinitely until the fascists are no longer in power.

so many dead canaries and we just keep on mining

Here we go Austin! Paramount Theatre this Friday and FantasticFest alllllll weekend!

I always maintained the NBC show THE SLAP should have been about a tough cop named Cal Slapowicz.

One of these rich dudes invested in a food company with all proceeds going to kids in need. The other started Sundance Institute, boosting the lives of countless artists. Hey modern rich dudes, don't be a typical greedy AI crypto-prick, be like these two.

With their latest video essay, YouTuber Elephant Graveyard examines how stand-up comedy has devolved into a death cult.

Just finished "Silver Screen Fiend" by Patton Oswalt and man, I needed this book right now. It brought back memories all the theatres I spent my time in the 90's in LA, and the flickering education I got from sitting in a dark room with a bunch of strangers at 3 in the afternoon.

The brilliant and hilarious Grace Johnson.

After a rough week of work, it was great to lose myself in laughter with @pattonoswalt.bsky.social

Delightful to see @comicbooktimmy.bsky.social and @pattonoswalt.bsky.social at Ultimate Comics today! The Minor Threats series is one of my current favorites, and the Archie crossover is terrific…true to both properties. If you’re not reading it you really should!

(Jerry Lewis voice): GROYPERS

[the shooter is unidentified] the left must be purged with the sword [the shooter is, again, a compulsive masturbator who loved Hitler] I believe it was pascal who said that the heart has reasons that reason may not know

The next arc of @imagecomics.com's THE POWER FANTASY is coming. "Obliterates expectations with a story every X-Men fan needs to read" - ScreenRant "Goes roaring through the doors that Alan Moore and Grant Morrison opened back in the '80s" - @pattonoswalt.bsky.social imagecomics.com/press-releas...

RIP Polly Holliday, a.k.a. Mrs. Deagle. www.nytimes.com/2025/09/10/a...

👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇

I have a mint Venus of Willendorf still in the original packaging.

A stunning, dark, intense movie that I do NOT recommend for everyone. Horrifically timely.

what a humiliating way for don jr. to find out his dad sends birthday cards.

That is…uh, not a drawing of an adult woman. *shudder*

So glad ICE is in Chicago. The city is a lawless hell-scape. Blues musicians wrecking hundreds of police cars. High schoolers doing weird scientific sex experiments. Kids home alone during the holidays. Women killing their husbands and lovers and then SINGING about it sassily. This has to stop.

Lodge 49

The Colonel… he TASKS me…

TOKUGAWA SHOGUNATE ERA RODNEY DANGERFIELD: i tell you i get no respect. the daimyo says i have to commit seppuku to restore my house’s honor. okay. i write my death poem, no problem. i ask my wife if she’ll be my second and she says she wants to be my FIRST!

Memoir news: sadly there were printing issues with the book's readability. A bit more work on my end but we fixed it! Good news: the book has been bumped to 8x10"!Original sketch edition now has 20 extra pages of back matter!Thank u for ur patience! -Chris tessfowlerart.bigcartel.com/product/take...

Could @pattonoswalt.bsky.social's gig on Oct 10th at The Horseshoe Casino really be "Tulalip: The Sequel"? Watch this for background: ▶️ Performing for the Drunkest Audience Ever youtube.com/watch?v=FO-L... Here's the Horseshoe gig: ✅ A Big Empty Casino open.substack.com/pub/pattonos...

Patton Oswalt's upcoming comedy tour through the midwest sounds fantastic.

Push ‘em back push ‘em back waaaaaaay back!

You petty ghouls making fun of Trump’s health aren’t fit to change his freshly soaked-and-soiled diapers every time a door slams near him.

New Substack post!

Heaven.

New school year, same Durbs.

@pattonoswalt.bsky.social Since I turned 43 today - I FINALLY got to do a real-life tribute to the KFC bit youtu.be/3R8rI0INHmg?... They truly did just pile glop in a bowl

Only three prints left of my collab with @pattonoswalt.bsky.social , signed by me AND him 20% off for Labor Day www.mollycrabapple.com/shop/p/patto...

I love the smell of consequences in the morning. Thank you, @dragoncon.org

💯💯💯💯💯💯😂😂😂😂😂😂

Oh wow! Flattered!!!

Happy birthday to Jack Kirby.

It’s just part of the process.

So stoked to be a part of this. Grab yer blood buckets and get to the theater, NOW!

you ever see a post like this and get this fuckin vertigo zoom in your brain to the streets of 1940 france where you'd hear this over a radio

The fact that this administration is hell bent on punishing Kilmar Abrego Garcia while rewarding Ghislane Maxwell tells you all you need to know about their violent racism and misogyny.