Kids these days are so lazy. They just do everything with apps. Order food with apps. Socialize with apps. Find girlfriend with apps. Back in my day you had to boot up your whole computer and log into a website to do that stuff.

Aquinas on Sex - existentialcomics.com/comic/647

Nerd culture is funny because it fooled an entire generation into thinking that if you liked sci-fi and disliked sports, that somehow made you smart.

It feels like now would be a really bad time for the Sea Peoples to make a comeback.

2006 internet: reading the List of Fatal Shark Attacks Wikipedia page. 2026 internet: reading the List of Fatal Shark Attacks Wikipedia page, but there are 19 more entries because sharks have killed more people since then.

AI actually is causing a lot of unemployment in tech. Not because it has been able to successfully replace anyone's job, but because the big tech companies are all gambling so much on becoming trillionaires that they have to throw tens of thousands of workers into unemployment to pay for it.

Democracy is when the United States picks who runs your country.

Kantian Milk - existentialcomics.com/comic/646

I would say that one of the big downsides of living the good life, that philosophers don't often talk about, is that it really dampens your ability to whine. Whining and complaining, which is one of the greatest joys of human existence, is tragically robbed from us almost entirely.

Possible solution to the Strait of Hormuz?

I know AI isn't conscious because it can listen to an entire meeting on a Friday afternoon without zoning out and thinking about the weekend even once.

When someone says "God works in mysterious ways" I assume that the field of Mathematics is considered mysterious to this person.

If Iran blows up Mark Zuckerberg and Jeff Bezos I promise you here and now that I WILL convert to Islam and join the Butlerian Jihad.

I would say that in retrospect Microsoft's Clippy wasn't so bad. He gave some pretty great tips on how to write a memo. He didn't destroy the environment by consuming more energy than most countries. He didn't help bomb any countries. All in all, C- to B+ range, realistically.

By the way, if someone is serving for the United States military, it is a bit old fashioned to say "thank you for your service", perhaps try instead: "you are a traitor to the human race."

The only permanent solution to toxic misogyny is to genetically engineer an apex race of "super gays" to rebalance the ecosystem. I will NOT be elaborating on this plan of action. Thank you for the consideration.

In an open and free society, the State or media owners knowingly propagating lies should be be considered exactly the same as them censoring the truth. Freedom of speech is the freedom to openly debate the truth, not the freedom to control media to subvert it.

Either/Or Bandit - existentialcomics.com/comic/645

Yes, I do believe that if the Vikings had the technology to build the electric guitar, then they would have discovered heavy metal and easily conquered the planet. I'm not sure why this is considered "controversial".

Some people are apparently claiming that Silicon Valley Tech Bros have consciousness, like normal humans. As someone who studies these issues carefully, I can assure you that this is an utterly preposterous claim. Yes, they can mimic humans, but they are fundamentally incapable of original thought.

It's weird to me that people were surprised that Bill Gates was in the Epstein files. Like...really? You were surprised that the guy who invented Internet Explorer 6 was evil?? Come on.

"A better world is possible" used to be an uplifting message about the dream of creating a better future. Now it is just a straightforward statement. Like…FOR SURE a better world is possible. This stupid shit we are up to now definitely isn't the best we can do. Not even close.

Always a good time these days to repost this slide from an IBM internal presentation in 1979.

Wrong. America could never produce Socrates because Big Sophism would give a billion dollars to Protagoras to form a think tank that would drown out his message with a million sock puppet accounts on social media, who would all claim that Real Men don't care about the philosophy or the truth.

Intelligent Life on Earth - existentialcomics.com/comic/644

It must suck to spend your life getting wealthy and famous, only to realize too late that the true secret to happiness is studying old Greek philosophers and eating huge pots of cheese.

The modern mind is not able to comprehend how the Roman Empire was able to administer an territory all the way from Egypt to Hadrian's Wall without making use of Jira Sprint Planning.

Yes, in fact, I do believe that a man's virtue can be measured directly by what video YouTube think you want to watch next.

Marx is Unfrozen in the Future existentialcomics.com/comic/643

Slowly realize that everything is terrible: sadness. Quickly realize that everything is terrible: comedy.

Do these idiots not realize that AI has been out for a while now? We can't perpetually be "a couple months" away from it automating all human labor.

if i were a boxer i would simply spray insulation foam inside my skull, rendering me IMMUNE to all knockouts, and easily become world champion of the world

There are generally accepted to be 6 stages in human history, based on the material that is most fundamental to the economy: Stone Age Bronze Age Iron Age Industrial Age Information Age Like and Subscribe Age (the final stage of human development).

Whenever a game goes to overtime or something the announcers are always like "you could not script this!!" Sorry, but yes I could. I have the capacity to write down on a page "it went to overtime." Get on my level at scripting.

Vodka Drunkenski, the Soviet boxer in Nintendo's 1984 arcade game "Super Punch-Out!!" was renamed to "Soda Popinski" for the NES release of "Mike Tyson's Punch-Out!!" in 1987, in what many have described as the first instance of "political correctness gone mad".

Hollywood executive are spooked by A.I. because they too are only capable of imitating what others have created. They too lack the spark of divine creation which gives us the gift of free will.

Presidents Day is one of my favorite holidays, because if it wasn't for discount mattresses no one would even know when it was, or if it even happened at all. A true American holiday.

David Hume on Creativity existentialcomics.com/comic/642

Human kind has risen ourselves to be the masters of the Earth, so why should I be afraid of a little bug, just because it is in my soup?

This just in: Trump administration to repeal Gottfried Wilhelm Leibniz's doctrine of pre-established harmony of the universe, in which God created non-interacting, independent substances (monads) that are perfectly synchronized with the material world from the beginning.

The Summoning of Bertrand Russell - existentialcomics.com/comic/641

Remembering the biggest blowout in Superbowl history, when Robert Mueller and the Rule of Law got dismantled by the unhinged mob 54-3 in Superbowl LI.

Reminder that the New England Patriots are ontologically evil, so therefore any act against them is inherently good.

Me, shopping at the book store: "excuse me, sir? which of these books was written the fastest? I'm looking for a book with as little thought and effort put into it as possible."

I think my all time favorite reply on Twitter was when I said French cooking is basically just adding lots of butter to everything, and they replied that I had finally gone "mask off" with my open hated of the white race. I think about that guy sometimes and his strange ideas on race and butter.

The best thing about philosophy is that all the great philosophers in history were basically wrong about almost everything, so there's really not that much pressure to be right.

Hobbes vs Anarchism existentialcomics.com/comic/640

Human bodies are so stupid. Like...why do I have to feel like shit just because I drank too much and didn't get enough sleep for like 15 years straight??

Great how whenever the cops gun someone down we have to have a whole public trial about whether or not they were a bad person, when that's very much what actual trials are for. You can be the worst person in the country and the cops still can't just shoot you. Trials are not really a minor detail.