Cowardly of them to delay the soccer game because of lightning. I would very much like to see French players struck by lightning!! And I do NOT feel I am alone in this. Give the people what they want.

It's so cool how they finally created real AI, freeing us at last from all labor, giving the human race more leisure time and empowering us all to fulfill our creative freedom. Oh wait no, it didn't do jack shit except make some rich guys super rich, and somehow make mobile ads even more annoying.

At the Existentialist Cafe - existentialcomics.com/comic/660

The most striking thing about AI art is simply how clear it is that it has entirely failed to the world more beautiful. Is your world more beautiful than it was five years ago because of AI? Mine is not.

It's been like 1,500 years, so I think it's time we can all admit that there was some kind of metal pin in the stone holding the sword in place, which Merlin discreetly unlatched right before it was Arthur's go, right? I mean, that's clearly what happened and I'm tired of pretending it isn't.

There are three kind of skeptics: 1. Scientific skeptics, who are skeptical of Bigfoot, ghosts, and psychics. 2. Philosophical skeptics, who are skeptical of the external world, and the senses. 3. Literary skeptics, who are beginning to suspect there never was such a guy as "Captain Ahab" after all.

Plato's Iliad - existentialcomics.com/comic/659

big things happening in the NFL

Batman's Dilemma - existentialcomics.com/comic/658

Mankind, with our great science and industry, have fooled ourselves into believing we are Masters of the Earth. In our arrogance, we think nature has no power over us. But the true Master of the Earth is the woodpecker that wakes me up every goddamn morning pecking on the metal vent on my roof.

You know, Obi Wan would probably still be alive if Chewbacca wasn't totally checked out of his job, and would just lock in the god damn auxiliary power in a timely fashion.

Despair Factory - existentialcomics.com/comic/657

I've been microdosing "thinking" lately. Every hour for one minute I "use my brain to think about stuff.". I believe this will put me at a competitive edge over 99.6% of the human population, if my calculations are correct.

Not gonna lie I was not expecting them to have a 1500 page book of the works of Aristotle at the Atlanta airport.

Heartbreaking scene: the endless need for increased shareholder profit has profaned all that is sacred, and ruined the magic of your childhood with endless sequels and remakes to monetize every human emotion.

I don't normally watch the NBA, but are they always this tall?? They need to raise the basket or something. They are simply too tall if you ask me, it's just not realistic.

Schopenhauer: Supervillain or Totally Right About Everything? existentialcomics.com/comic/656

It's unfair to call the Marvel movies "kid's movies", they also have serious political messages, such as: - America is good - the military is good - military contractors are good - billionaires are good - heroes protect the existing power structure, villains try to change society

Tech Bros Utopia existentialcomics.com/comic/655

Ah yes, because if there is one thing humans hate doing, it is choosing who they want to fuck.

The Asteroid and the Meaning of Life existentialcomics.com/comic/654

Under communism, there will not be a "potato" button on the microwave. Potato button is not needed. Potato button is not wanted. Thanks to the theories of Karl Marx, we can finally be rid of it.

I could never date someone younger because I would not be able to discuss with them the trials and tribulations, which were ultimately overcome, by Xena the Warrior Princess and her faithful platonic companion Gabrielle.

"Humans are naturally selfish" - some right winger trying to justify capitalism, when talking about the most cooperative mammal to ever exist, by far.

Utilitarianism and Its Enemies existentialcomics.com/comic/653

Nature did not design mankind to stare at screens indoors all day. We are made to struggle for the bounty of the earth. To follow the herds north and kill for our meat. To make love in cold nights as we ponder the stars. Luckily we rebelled against nature. That would suck. Screens are way better.

Turing Test 2.0 existentialcomics.com/comic/652

In light in these events, I do think we need more gun control. Anyone off the street shouldn't be able to just walk in and buy a gun. There should be MANDATORY marksmanship lessons for all gun owners.

Something instead of nothing

True wisdom is know when to shut the fuck up. And that time is always.

Good news everyone, I've created an advanced AI that can replace 90% of the managers in tech companies: #! /bin/bash echo "have more meetings where all the engineers stop working and say out loud the status of their Jira tickets.\n" exit 0;

I will NEVER respect Canada because they implemented democracy without shooting any British. You should ALWAYS shoot at least a few British before holding your first vote.

Mazdak Creates Utopia existentialcomics.com/comic/651

Look, I'll be the first to admit I'm no marketing wiz, but I feel like drinking and driving just aren't a natural pairing for cross promotion. I've got a gut feeling on that one.

It’s inaccurate to say Mario is brave and Luigi is cowardly Luigi is afraid of death, so he runs away from danger. Mario is afraid of living, so he runs towards death. Both brothers are cowards in their own way

I never understood how they are always predicting "flying cars" in the future. Like, what the fuck do you think a helicopter is?

False. Infinite suffering is a countable infinity, and infinitely preventing suffering is an uncomfortable infinity (no I will not elaborate).

Boo Murder! existentialcomics.com/comic/650

No teachings from Science, philosophy, or religion will ever instruct on life's deepest mysteries (how to make the cat shut the fuck up).

One big problem the United States has with overthrowing countries in the Middle East is that their populations will fight to the end to protect their civilization, whereas Americans will give up immediately if our Flamin' Hot Doritos™ go up in price by 10 percent.

[waking up from my nap to check if World War III has started, before going back to sleep] Nice. Very sane and normal time to be alive.

There is one checkout lane at the supermarket labeled "family friendly" which is mysterious. There is no physical difference, so the difference must be only in the mind. The cashiers in the other lanes, it must be assumed, despise children, ever wishing for us to be the last to walk to the Earth.

Machiavelli and the Veil of Ignorance existentialcomics.com/comic/649

Ah, but since you "don't care" you must know what "caring" is, right? You must be able to rigorously define all the things you do and do not care about, wouldn't you say? Let me ask you something…

I googled how to tell if something is a spider bite and came across this fantastic diagnostic criteria. I've created an illustrated guide in case anyone else needs help.

I'm sick of this account grandstanding about politics. Come on man, are you going to tell us what kind of hem we need to successfully complete our bimboification look or not??

Reason and Passion - existentialcomics.com/comic/648

Imagine being an American Soldier and dying just so Trump can make the Iranians...uh, just so in Iran we can...you know...whatever Trump is trying to accomplish exactly. I think they are mostly mad that they won't let us open up McDonald's and stuff in their country.

"You are being too emotional, just look at things rationally." – someone who thinks their emotional desires are more important than yours.

Funniest joke from each decade: 2000s: some guys are hungover. 1990s: an Eastern European man doesn't give you soup. 1980s: a man with a lisp says the word "marriage" 1970s: a knight bangs two coconuts together. 1960s: what if we nuked the USSR by mistake lol. 1950s: I hate my wife.