i stopped coming to the couch in the mornings to have my coffee and now I remember why: it is way WAY too hard to get up and go to work

oh god, the seder emails have started, what is time

btw if Canada wants to retaliate by burning the White House down again that's fine

Punk rock says "make art without training, without credentials, without technique, without the approval of gatekeepers." Prompting an algorithm to spit a slurry of other people's work down your throat like a baby bird, coated in an uncanny veneer of good-enough-ness, could not possibly be less punk.

i still have more than half of this left, and maybe two days to use it? the struggle is real, friends. i'm thinking i'll cut it into lemon bars and then, idk, make 10 pies?

Olympic highlight in this house.

sometimes my job is not really what I want to be doing, I don't think? but we got in a 10kg bucket of raspberry puree and today I've spent three hours doing and then eating fruit experiments

Raymond Trowbridge going hard AF with this photo of the Chicago Temple Building looming over an older city streetscape. (Batman's parents being murdered a few steps away, presumably) 📸CHM/Raymond W Trowbridge, 1924ish

Best advertisement I’ve seen so far at the Santa Barbara International Film Festival

in the pilot episode of svu (1999) they find a dead guy with a banana in his ass, glad to learn that was based in science

after more than a year working in a kitchen (????), i find myself saying things like "well, that's a pretty good place to get a burn"

no eres mis casa bonita no eres mis esposa bonita

1, bff informed me it's a reheat and not a rewatch, so sorry, but 2, we have adjourned to her place to eat this fucking red sauce for... the kiddo's FOURTEENTH BIRTHDAY, we're all going to die so soon

if you're wondering how it's going, we have restarted at the beginning and opened another bottle of champagne

sobbing into my mimosa about wolf parade is not really where i expected to be but here i am

bestie is here, the red sauce is simmering, we're on our third mimosa, we each have a cat on our lap, we're starting ep 3 of heated rivalry, i challenge you to come up with a more perfect sunday

We put on an all-Yiddish community production of fiddler on the roof in Philadelphia and cast member and local artist Sofie Rose Seymour created the most amazing show poster that ever was

ten years ago today no one clapped

Take me down to the Parallax city where the far moves slow and the near moves quickly

guys i am so tired of logging in

Gonna tell my grandkids this was Pizzagate

dispatches from the genealogy rabbit hole: found this photo, 0% of my aunts have any idea who it is, 100% want a copy

Btw, for those looking to peacefully dissent, I present the stellar work of a fine citizen of Edmonton from a few years ago.

In anniversary news which I can’t quite verify, it may be 39 years (possibly more) since the Indian Air Force dressed their helicopters up as elephants for Republic Day

i just need ("need") it to get to the place where fahrenheit and celsius are the same, so i too can play the weather game! that's around -40, right now it's a balmy -29c so we're close! and yes, i rode my bike to work.

replace rfk jr with this guy

it will be so great when my downstairs neighbor learns another chord

went down the rabbit hole of genealogy research and my ancestors had some truly wretched names. so far the worst i've come across is blandina. blandina!! it sounds like a brutal chef insult

coworkers have a pool going about how cold it has to get before i stop biking to work, but joke's on them, it will never get that cold! i will just put on more clothes! also, the bus that would get me there is not running at 4.30 in the morning, so: like i said, more clothes

having coffee with the cat, looking at the snow, listening to the kids in my building (whose names i know!!) play outside, i just really love chicago guys

remember, folks,

don't try this at home, i'm a professional

at the meat counter the guy said "what's a brisket" when i asked for one so everything's going great

I Need My Arm For Drinking Coffee But The Cat Needs It For A Pillow: a tragic novel in infinite parts, by me

gotta find a group chat that'll give me tips on dealing with way too fucking many group chats

cat or goose, unclear

hey

If sandwich shops don’t start offering a sandwich named “the acquittal” then what are we even doing

shout out chicago.

lmao david byrne showed the video of the ice agents tripping over themselves while trying to run after a biker on wacker drive during the “life during wartime” segment of his chicago show tonight

i love all these people giving him baseball jerseys he super doesn't want

You guys, look at this thing. You just jam a whole stick of butter in there and it melts it and you can just spray hot liquid butter on whatever. The 80s really was the decade of insane kitchen appliances.

man, i really hate that every. single. time. i open a can i think about bean dad, the internet was a mistake

"Tzefardea Tzedek" (Frog of Righteousness) As soon as the Portland Frog became a meme, Jewish social media blew up with jokes about the 2nd Passover plague - tzefarde'a (frogs) - and the Rabbinical commentary around it. I knew I had to make a calligraphy piece encompassing all of it. (more in alt.)

look at these perfect creatures 😻

here’s a little beaver friend, as a treat

indian coworker has declared my spice tolerance 'respectable,' which seems good but will lead to a hot hubristic downfall, i can already tell

46, motherfuckers