.

"Hello, my name's Scarlett Johansson. I'm super interested in and, I have to say, more than a little turned on by your dislike of George Eliot and Hermann Melville. Tell me more. Do you also believe The Beatles are overrated?"

I’ll never understand people who read a Top 100 Whatevers list filled with things they’ve never heard of and get angry rather than excited.

Thanks Darren Cann

"Your support is fucking shit" is the most tedious chant in football and in fact merely demonstrates that it's your support that is shit because you can't think of anything interesting to chant. In unrelated news I am bored by the FA Cup final.

A perfectly valid response but so many of the replies are doing that infuriating "I don't like that thing that you like so you must be pretending to like it" thing. Almost as bad, in my view, as snobbishly looking down on people who read and enjoy popular fiction rather than, say, Thomas Mann.

More excellent adventures with Tara Selter and the gang. I'd imagined that after the end of vol III this could turn into a zombie caper. I'm also wondering why all the people stuck in 18 November are adults. Mostly, though, I'm baffled as to how she'll resolve this in a few volumes.

Because I know some of you like this kind of thing, here’s Paul Simon’s set list from the Royal Albert Hall last night

We can't have players posting things like this and undermining referees. No need to go over the top punishing him though. I feel a 2 game ban would suffice.

And once more for those at the back

In the Premier League season 2025-26 there have been 274 similar fouls and 0.63% were penalised.

This ref definitely had his head flushed at school. Enjoys his little chats a bit too much #bcafc

Bradford City getting promoted to the championship would be a very enjoyable thing. I fear actually having to be in the championship next season would be a lot less enjoyable.

Now massively annoyed that I didn't bother getting a ticket for the play off first leg (couldn't be arsed with an 8pm Saturday kick off away to Bolton). I have a ticket for the home leg but turns out I might not make it as my wife has to work.

Appointments coming thick and fast as the Number 10 reset continues

Sick of being dismissed as a person who sells food for a living, man opens chip shop

Hemingway - dismisses it as evidence of and a tool for emasculating The Writer. Fitzgerald - reluctantly uses it, hates himself for that. Faulkner - doesn't use it but writes a novella about the rise to consciousness and subsequent death of Claude.

Just spent five months, along with hundreds of other people, fighting one street and one vote at a time in order to hopefully draw about level in our city with another insurgent party who've done literally nothing, absolutely nothing, except be indulged by the entire UK establishemnt for 20 years

If Reform do as well as expected, I'll be reposting this on the hour all day tomorrow.

Don't forget to vote. Then, tell Bluesky who you voted for so we can repeatedly explain why you are an idiot in an attempt to justify our own imperfect choices to ourselves.

That's him, isn't it? That's the bottle dude...

Just a few more wildly partisan social media posts and we'll have solved antisemitism for good

Anyone in #manchester able to recommend a pub that allows me to plausibly claim will be a nice place for a pre-dinner drink with my wife but which will, by complete coincidence, be showing the #bcafc match? Preferably not in the NQ as we are eating somewhere in the direction of Deansgate.

Never seen a bandwagon this dimwit hasn't jumped on

With so much awful news, here is something to brighten your day:

Not knowing what the worst people in the world were thinking every fucking day

Whatever the chemical enhancements are that are being passed around the people who chose the motm I want some #bcafc

When Crying It In backfires spectacularly

When you’ve got United in the 21st century at 8pm and vigils in the 14th century at 5am

Troubling in the extreme for all sorts of reasons.

Billy Casper (Dai Bradley) is actually on the pitch at Oakwell! On a separate note, this is my opinion of the game so far:

Remembering that dim bulb who said it was great to have someone who could keep on top of a brief, chair a meeting and take a minute....

The meat won't be the only thing that's going

Must be spring, I've just spent 10 minutes of my time negotiating with a stupid wasp that can't decide between 'flying out of an open window' and 'getting squashed'.

"You can't hear an image" The image

My mum has fibromyalgia and COPD but I'm calling her up to tell her she *needs* to be unable to afford to heat the house; meanwhile I'm shielded from such privations by virtue of not being skint.

Buying and using a four bar electric fire to celebrate prices not going up.

Pretty sure we don't need to learn any more tbh

NatWest Bereavement Service expects the bereaved to communicate with them via a chatbot. The chatbot ignores repeated reminders that it is not possible to log in to the account what with the whole "account holder being dead" aspect of the situation.

That time of year when personal finance people wang on about tax wrappers as if everyone has £1500 per month spare cash lying about.

There can only be one winner. This article still speaks to me 25 years on theonion.com/im-like-a-ch...

We all knew the Guardian readers were COWARDS

Standards really slipping at the Telegraph. Really basic typo in a column headline today.

That screenshot everyone is sharing where the guy replies to a post about Dune. Maybe consider the possibility he might be joking? I think he's OBVIOUSLY joking.

Two Princes

Sometimes Bluesky is like Sanjeev Bhaskar's Indian Dad but instead of India it's autism.