Anyway, here's your 2026 horoscope: Capricorn: People like you because of your flexible morals. The new year presents opportunities to flee the world and live in a cave, a stump, or a hovel. You will be haunted this year.

If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a million times: Billy. Joel. Must. Be. Stopped.

I die ... surrounded by people that don't season their food

No one prepares you for the post 40 phenomena of absolutely loving tomatoes and eating them like apples to avoiding them like the plague because of the most extreme heartburn you’ve ever had. Fuckin sucks, yo

Watching THE GREEN KNIGHT again

we're talking general hospital levels of script writing.

The Onion is within a hair's breadth of reporting real news apnews.com/video/robert...

Here's this [REDACTED] piece I [REDACTED]

Solomon, today, on God’s day:

Losing your woman to a karate man… is something you did Yo kids spending crimus in the karate man house is yo fault Gone and cry

See what happens when you don’t listen? You lost your woman to a karate man www.tmz.com/2025/12/20/t...

Libertarians in New Hampshire:

I've seen that move before

I’m something of an art connoisseur myself

Nebuchadnezzar, by William Blake, 1795-1805 (flipped) #NetflixPartner

Maybe the real Epstein files were all the friends we made along the wa- wait hold on

Well, just had my first Pepsi Poppi and, surprise! Takes like a shower of shit.

Birthday pictures of Ghislane Maxwell and Kirk Cameron are kissing cousins.

Oh man, not Strong Bad!

The running theme between the Epstein story, banning trans healthcare for minors, religious homeschooling and the complaints about adult children estranging themselves is a fundamental American belief that children are property with no rights of their own

From this point on, I'm forced to assume that every elected politician who does not immediately call for Trump's impeachment is in the Epstein files. Sorry. Just cutting the Gordian knot here, as one does during societal collapse.

Santa Claus is coming to town 🦌🎅🏻 #santa #reindeer #xmas Paint It s.shopee.co.th/1gBhIYgp2Y

The redacted Epstein files become really fun when you treat them as Adult Mad Libs. Every news outlet should do that because what’s the White House gonna say? That they’re wrong? Prove it, heauxs.

Things have been going so well lately (sarcasm) that of course I’m continuing my Ken Burns viewing by starting his series on Vietnam.

As a huge fan of ███████ I feel gutted right now. Just an absolute betrayal of everything I thought ███████ stood for.

“Copacetic” from Local H’s “Bound for the Floor” (which is still a goddamned face melter)

the epstein files as rick owens fall/winter 2024

I love cheese, I have a favorite creamery and everything, but my favorite thing about cheese is that we're so accustomed to it now that we hardly ever contemplate how totally fucking unhinged its discovery must have been.

I mean, Diana Ross isn't really that big of a surprise for those in the know.

Did you guys also repeatedly have traveling yoyo salesmen perform at your elementary schools, or was my superintendent bought up by big yoyo?

A good reminder that Diedrich Bader and Drew Carey have started a podcast about The Drew Carey Show and this guy has consistently and quietly been putting out brilliant work. Just always on the right side of history

I've been watching a LOT of Ken Burns' documentaries about WW2 and I can't tell you how many times I've found myself yelling at the TV screaming at folks back in the 1930s and 1940s for having the opinions they do, despite mounting evidence about the atrocities the Nazis were capable of and, well...

updated my letterboxd favorite movies

Imagine someone on Reddit doing a better job at investigating than the head of the FBI. I would simply resign and move out of the country out of embarassment

If I was a billionaire who hated Trump, I'd take a full page ad out in every major publication that had a bunch of pictures of Trump falling asleep and in big block lettering write "The Anti-Woke President" and other fun little jabs

Are all of the Nacua’s on cocaine right now? Jesus Christ

The…Gary…Bears.

You do know that there’s 20 series of Taskmaster on YouTube right now, right? You don’t have to watch that man.

This is fucking horrifying. Given the GOP and most government officials’ understanding on how the human body functions, I PROMISE you this will affect everyone.

Everyone is understandably sharing the Miller quote, but I found this response from photographer Christopher Anderson to be notable, too.

The Vanity Fair photographer from the Susie Wiles story. Holy. Shit. www.washingtonpost.com/style/power/...

Well now I have seen everything

I love how they’re all just barely taller than the hoods of the trucks they drive.

Are we still measuring how long folks in Trump’s administration last using Scaramuccis?

Someone smarter than me and who’s a WWE historian should write about MAGA through the lens of professional wrestling because this is the feeling I get about the “big announcement” he’s gonna make.