I would honestly rather read a handwritten note from my parents in which they say they regret ever adopting me

The most Porsche of Porsches.

Eric probably had to tell him there’s a scene in the book where Erika Eleniak emerges topless from a novelty birthday cake.

Dr. Phil not being able to make money off MAGA is hilarious. Jack Posobiec got a beach house off it and his job was testing pee for the Navy. How are you that bad at this man?

Trump is extremely orange today (Getty)

She hates red chili, so two batches, it is. Smoked Chicken Chili Verde and Red Chili w/ Smoked Ground Beef.

In the same way Fickell wasn’t a viable candidate for the Notre Dame job — bad timing due to Cincy being in the playoff — Cignetti is just as likely a candidate for nothing whatsoever.

In the spirit of his DOGE efforts, obviously the most cost-effective way to combat drug use in San Francisco is to send Elon there to use all the drugs himself.

James Franklin vs Top 25: 17-27 Matt Rhule vs Top 25: 2-23

The British should be charged with crimes against humanity.

The Browns are trash.

Lanning to Penn State, per rumors circulating in my house.

Live footage of the Turning Point USA Halftime Show:

“Even I don’t project him as a day-one pick.” - Allar’s Mother

Penn St grad brother just sent me a text that reads, “Happy Valley? No such thing. It’s just called The Valley.”.

That’s an undefeated season, right there.

Game…Hoosiers.

Legit can’t wait for tomorrow when James Franklin tweets out “Fresh start, so let’s go 1-0, baby!”.

We got a shoutout on the broadcast when it happened! Volume up.

@mwoodski.bsky.social Some highlights from this morning.

Gritty sculpted from Scrapple @buttersbc.bsky.social

The scrapple Gritty’s sculptor has an all-timer of a Fun Fact.

One of Keaton’s first screen roles was in an episode of Rod Serling’s Night Gallery. In 2011 she made an HBO pilot playing a thinly-disguised Nikki Finke, but it didn’t get picked up. Her only regular TV role was on Young Pope.

My brain accepted USC, UCLA, Washington, & Oregon into the Big Ten a lot easier than it can accept Indiana being good at football.

Illinois punter going victory kneel down is my frontrunner for Play of the Year.

“Open the windows, I’m off for a dump.” - Jackson Lamb

The mutual vote of confidence means things are super fine.

When your dad’s 24 year old girlfriend asks that you call her “Mom”.

the business model is good and safe

I’m, like, super psychic and whatnot.

Not to brag, but

I still laugh that in "The Rise of Skywalker" JJ Abrams cast Russell -- one of the most compellingly intense actors going and one of the most beautiful people in the world -- and (a) gave her almost no substantive dialogue; and (b) put her under a dumb helmet for like 85% of her screen time.

this is every Guy Ritchie film

"hand-to-hand combat with antifa every night"

"Is President Trump's concept of a plan for healthcare fantastic or merely incredible?"

another amzn prime days??

CJ Donaldson with his hands up and running off the field while the ball was still in the air. lol

Make the call, Penn State.

Don’t forget Jim Knowles. He sucked, too, Coach.

Good start for The Boat Rowers.

Every game makes this kid look smarter and smarter.

$50m to buy out Franklin, only to end up with, like, Mark Stoops as the leading candidate.

Everyone knows Jim Knowles’ defense is hot garbage until Year 3.

James Franklin seems to not have been bullshitting during his halftime interview. “We’ll be fine.”, indeed.

I’m dead. What a 2nd half start for Penn State.

What did Ryan Day know and when did he know it?

How overrated is Oregon? My column…