Erin Eph
@erineph.bsky.social
đ€ 507
đ„ 223
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A barren woman.
Skipped right past being the Mom Friend and instead became the Somebodyâs Ethnic Great Aunt Friend
7 days ago
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The Tudors are the goldendoodles of history. I donât need to care about them, everyone who is less smart than me already cares about them too much
12 days ago
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Erin Eph
captain bleach
16 days ago
just found out there's a Butthole Cut of Hamnet where they all have realistic CGI buttholes
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Mike Schuster
16 days ago
However It Happens will be welcome, but I think the most unsatisfying would be pills
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No one cares about me contributing to any discourse but I will say this: Lindy, girl. The call is coming from inside the house.
16 days ago
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Itâs ok, we already know what every espresso martini looks like. No need to post
21 days ago
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Cybertruck owners are starting to look sad when I flip them off. This only makes me flip them off harder
28 days ago
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I respect anyoneâs right to wear busy patterns but some of you have got to consider the inebriated amongst us
30 days ago
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Erin Eph
BayBayFriend
30 days ago
I hate that the sparkle icon is shorthand for AI. They want us to think itâs magic. Fuck you!!! Magic is when you lose a glob of mustard from your sandwich but it doesnât land on you. When you win at 20 questions. Sparkles belong to Liberace. A babyâs smiling eyes. I will put you in the ground!!!!!!
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Erin Eph
Jason, ex Inferis
about 1 month ago
Need a woman I can call supreme leader
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Erin Eph
Fun
about 1 month ago
Falafel? more like falawsome
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People who use the term âDisney magicâ should have to pay more to get divorced
about 1 month ago
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Can I share with you some sandwich wisdom? The best bread for an egg and cheese breakfast sandwich is scallion pancakes heated up in the toaster
about 1 month ago
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Erin Eph
Brendel
about 1 month ago
Time is so fake, âoh we added more daylightâ no you didnât, daylight is portioned by the cosmos repent of your hubris
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Billionaires could sleep every night on cashmere bedsheets and yet they still prefer to ruin the world for everyone else
about 1 month ago
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Unpopular opinion: a Midwesterner should only be allowed to travel when they can demonstrate some control over their need to stand in lines immediately, no matter what
about 1 month ago
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The part from A League of Their Own but it should be âthereâs no crying on Wellbutrinâ
about 1 month ago
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When the Airbnb host has a labelmaker but also thrifts like itâs their job, guys itâs a confusing place to stay the night
about 1 month ago
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I want to be invited to peopleâs houses but only so I can look at all of their stuff and ask detailed questions about anything I think is cool
about 1 month ago
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Gonna start saying âgot a real bummer in my tummerâ when I have gas or whatever
about 1 month ago
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Erin Eph
Lizzlepants đ
about 1 month ago
every child should be allowed to bring a little lamb to school and I will die on this deranged hill
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I type very fast but also very loud because deep inside I am an airline ticket counter employee from the mid-90s whoâs late to go on her break
about 1 month ago
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I fear I have never been able to get into Björk đ
about 1 month ago
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The most embarrassing part of heterosexual marriage is when the guy hits middle age and thinks a career as a streamer is realisitic
about 1 month ago
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Ah fuck, realizing that I developed personal growth after all of the bad shitty things that ever happened to me, 3/10 experience overall
about 2 months ago
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Erin Eph
ceej
about 2 months ago
I suffer from a form of Space Madness known as âEarth Madnessâ
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While you were out spending your youth learning to twerk, I was perfecting the heels-down Asian squat. Iâm a 5â9â white lady with no ass, the squat was much more functional and impressive
about 2 months ago
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All My Earworms Are Irish Rebel Songs About How The British Should Die
about 2 months ago
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Erin Eph
Gef the Toking Mongoose
about 2 months ago
I got babadooked got one living in my house now and it won't leave no matter how much trauma I resolve or how many rocks I throw at it
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If I wasnât asexual before seeing Kid Rock and RFK Jr with their shirts off, I sure as shit am now
about 2 months ago
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I dinât care what happens to me once I say this: apple cinnamon is a dumb flavor and anyone who has apple cinnamon smell in their house is a loser
about 2 months ago
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I could not be the protagonist in a gothic novel because no one in that genre was ever like âlook Iâm tired of this shit, here is an immediate solutionâ the way I like to do
about 2 months ago
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Wuthering Heights is about the most annoying couple you know who make their issues everyoneâs problem anytime thereâs a get-together
about 2 months ago
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I wouldnât be good at being a rich person because if I got on a plane and there were stairs leading to first class, Iâd activate the bouncy slide and go live in a tent
about 2 months ago
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Erin Eph
Todd 'Papi' Carlos
about 2 months ago
$BILLION$ IDEA: Ozempickles đ„
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Bill Hader is one of those guys whoâs Not Hot, Just Tall
about 2 months ago
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Erin Eph
Dr. Bucky Isotope, PhD, BOFA
2 months ago
YOU: football is like war ME: *sends in drone strike to hit the QB but accidentally hits the fans in the stands* yes it is
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does it mean Iâm autistic if the experience of watching Super Bowl ads makes me feel deeply alienated from the normal American mindset
2 months ago
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am I paranoid or is the theme of the Super Bowl ads so far all about gambling and locking children into trading imaginary money on the stock market
2 months ago
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velveeta day is a sacred day in my household, it occurs but once a year
2 months ago
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Erin Eph
Downtown Brandi Frown đŸ
2 months ago
Yet another year where I wonder how the census would categorize Count Chocula's race
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Erin Eph
Andrew Lawrence
2 months ago
and coming up next at the national prayer breakfast we have this golden calf that weâre all worshiping now, lets get those hands in the air for the golden calf everybody
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we as a society shouldnât have let Jim Morrison or Jewel make poetry books
2 months ago
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my transphobe second cousin sure has a lot of opinions for someone who looks as divorced as he does
2 months ago
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atp I think cigarettes deserve to make a comeback
2 months ago
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Top tier hard reboot of the human body is taking a transcontinental-length flight, immediately getting something to eat, and then wrapping yourself in a hotel blanket like a burrito and sleeping HARD for the next 10 hours
4 months ago
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I bet Cersei Lannister is terrible in bed, sheâs slept with like 4 guys in her life and the only one who makes her horny is her twin brother
4 months ago
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Look I want to support the youth but these Young Goths are not it. You guys should be cosplaying Victorian-era consumption vibes, not anime-inspired clown goth lite. You can be goth or you can be Juggalo, there is no in-between.
5 months ago
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Do you really think Iâm dumb enough to fall for barrel leg jeans
5 months ago
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Erin Eph
Better Things Are Possible
about 1 year ago
Every day I have to hear about some asshole
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