fuck infantino, all my homies hate infantino

(living an unexamined life) yaaaaaay haha yay wheeeeee

It's that giving time of year again, so this is a reminder that no matter how they try to dress it up, the Salvation Army is not a charity.

a fun game to play is “guess who’s playing the Barclays Center based on the outfits of everyone leaving the subway station” - tonite it’s Stevie Nicks

they’ve started piping in cheap fake pine-tree scent in the grand central subway station as part of some boneheaded bath & body works ad campaign and it’s so unpleasant it genuinely might make me switch my commute route until they take it down after the holidays

the Housewives of SLC are really reaching new heights in the field of arguing while wearing ridiculous costumes

I’m taking Zohran’s victory as a good omen for the Arsenal finally winning the league this year

BING BONG

not the horoscope-based get out the vote text omfg

Sorry but this is the funniest headline I will read all year

ok here's my nyc policy idea: create the post of Chief Weirdo. The job goes to an iconic freak whose job it is to maintain our world-leading weirdo levels. Curtis Sliwa can be the inaugural officeholder

if I were a UN-appointed human rights expert I would simply not promote the agendas of far-right misogynist groups. but that’s just me I guess.

listen. when dolly parton’s sister says it’s time for us all to be prayer warriors for dolly. you fucking pray for dolly

watching Escape from New York, which is basically a documentary as far as conservative dudes scared of cities are concerned

One Battle After Another was excellent!!

made ratatouille for dinner and it turned out pretty good but after spending over an hour on it I don't even wanna eat, lol

society would improve immediately if we just seized the assets of every person who wrote jeffrey epstein a birthday note

I shouldn’t be shocked but it’s still absolutely appalling that Arsenal have kept the Rwanda sponsorship

“did you sign Sherri’s birthday card?”from Space Mutiny gets a LOT of play in my family for some reason

And that's why Bob is VP of marketing

The Great Potato Chip Payoff is the best story ever, a perfect combination of important and stupid, with a beautiful visual, I’m so happy for The City!

might fuck around and rewatch Justified

🎶oh, what have you done you’re a pink polo boy and you’re throwing a sub🎶

there's a person with a VERY similar name & corresponding gmail address to mine and they need to get their shit together and learn how to enter their contact info properly, because I have gotten this person's vet office updates, their Sephora confirmations, and now a damn urgent care receipt

my strawberry plant has sprouted one tiny tiny berry!!

🤔🤔🤔🤔

ok we’re watching The Swimmer and this movie is a goddamn camp fever dream. what in the hell is going on here

Far from the point but it sucks so bad that everything has to be so stupid and tacky on top of the substance. The phrase “big beautiful bill” makes me want to drink a “big beautiful glass of poison"

I'm in touch with a source in Cuomo's camp. They're all screaming and turning back into rats. Not looking good so far

"GOOD FUCKING RIDDANCE"

BING BONG

shout-out to ranked choice voting btw!!!

Looking at every Cuomo endorsement

last summer I met a sorta-distant relative and when I mentioned I live in Brooklyn the first thing this grown-ass woman asked me was “is it scary?”

third amendment continues to pull its weight as the secret funniest load bearing cog in america's stupid machine

having a recurring daydream fantasy of handing out tickets to foot traffic violators

not to be dramatic but I will see Wordpress in hell

POV: you’re a french fry

bro it’s okay that you need ai to help you write an email. anubis has weighed your soul against the feather of fate and found you unworthy. prepare to be devoured

A Chicago Pope implies the existence of an MLA Pope and APA Pope

how many times is too many times to re-check my data so that nobody yells at me when I finally publish this paper

I’m going through the “leaving on May 31” category on Criterion and have accidentally programmed a Jeffrey Jones movie marathon with Amadeus and Ed Wood

Pink Pony Club would 100% be Tina Belcher’s favorite Chappell Roan song

surprisingly I am living for this season of #RHOA

“Just calm down and let people enjoy chatgpt.” Sorry, no. I find it creepy that folks are treating a machine that mimics human speech as their friend / therapist. It is feeding you lies. It is destroying your thinking abilities. Shut it off. Talk to other humans. Go outside.

happy Sick Jan day to all who observe www.youtube.com/watch?v=INPs...