going into the backrooms, sitting at a 30 degree angle on a half clipped chair for a couple of hours, just scrolling on my phone. nothing better

Bettina? What the fuck

'Just Give Me The Damn Sepak Takraw Ball'

trump: no one knows why it's called 8mm. the director doesn't even know. but i'm watching it and nicholas cage, he's on top of Machine and i said "don't do it," i said "don't stab Machine," but he does it. melania, our beautiful first lady was watching too weren't you? melania, off mic: he stab hem

MAGNETO: Behold MAGNETO, the MASTER OF MAGNETISM! PUTDOWN: damn master a toothbrush BURNBOOK: white hair ass meryl streep looking motherfucker MAGNETO: I find your new recruits lacking, Charles. Their cruel words are as ineffective as metal bullets to bend to my will! BURNBOOK: pedophile looking ass

if valve teamed up with kojima productions they would be making hideo gabes

WHAT BABY entire Gatsby collection rules but this is just so fun to say. Especially in earshot of an actual baby www.harkavagrant.com/?id=259

Immersive sim irl

I think you should watch this film and play this book and read this game but you can’t know anything about it before going in. Bro it’s better that way don’t know anything. If you find out something about it and then you don’t like it then it’s not my fault you fucked it up

See you all at the next meeting

this is Laura Palmer btw

think he the hamburglar. wow, flyboy here really think he the hamburglar. *watching news with parents* I think the thing is, he really think he the hamburglar *honking horn* what’s your PROBLEM buddy you think you the HAMBURGLAR?

I feel like some people don’t know the source

Emerald Fennell think she Sofia Coppola, Sofia Coppola think she Francis Ford Coppola, Francis Ford Coppola think he the Hamburglar

women say they don't want a tom and jerry brained man but then pick the guy who literally flattens himself under a door to get into the club. ok

r2d2 whistling aggressively as it spins around and shows off its enormous new breast implants

Replies you get when a post makes it to Discover: This reminds me of a poem my father wrote. Mind you, he wasn’t a good poet and was an even worse father. But he was possessed of a certain rustic perspicacity. Actually, I’m more like him than I like to admit. We both like brunettes DDD and above.

Mamdani: As my first order of business, we are bringing back twee. This is a millennial city now

ME: team rocket will never steal these rare Pokémon! Not unless they wanna take on me and my fully evolved Miss Cigarettes! MISS CIGARETTES: miss cigarettes

Blippo+ shows top 5 1. BUSHWALKER 2. Quizzards 3. Boredome 4. Wake Up, Universe! 5. Clone Trois Special mention to Do You Party? canceled and taken off the air far too early

I’ve been eating a lot of apples recently specifically honeycrunch apples so I google them to find out more about them and there’s an article telling me I should have been eating these apples 5 years ago and actually they suck now and that’s what going on the internet is about

For Christmas, Sarah got me a copy of the Japan version of Perfect Dark for the N64, entirely because it has hands-down the coolest box art that has ever blessed a video game. I look forward to leaving it in different conspicuous parts of the house to be noticed

Jodie Foster: They should have sent a poet Poet: Aliens ahoy! A galactic sight. When you’re in space all day is night

defrosting the freezer, passing the time by constructing elaborate revenge fantasies about the man who must have broken into my house last night and left it open

the weird two-year stretch in which i was older than every nfl quarterback is finally over. hopefully that will never happen again

Me: God, what is the point of life? God: You know how they’ll make a dog toy look like a mustard bottle or something, and it’s purely for the human’s benefit and the dog’s like buhhhh whuhhh. Well you’re the dog, and I love mustard, baby.

The baby simply can’t get enough of falling asleep to Random Access Memories by Daft Punk

Shredded cheese. Why do Americans have to make everything so violent

yeah I like playstation 2. Playstation 2 the polls

That was Elon in those streams including yesterday. Not falling for this

honking on bobo while my man plays 2k. oh you thought i meant my man's bobo?????? fohhhhhhhhh

The ideal gamer form. Beautiful ridiculous creature.

when you’re walking the dog and just trying to get to the objective marker but she keeps stopping to sniff out all the collectibles

I just think it’s great that everyone is talking about the Falcons

Ok, 1st pic clearly shows they’re at the station after security where you stuff everything back in your bag, not before the scanner where everyone is timing how long it takes you to empty your pockets. I love getting angry at women for taking photos as much as the next guy but this is whatever

woah miss piggy bamalam woah miss piggy bamalam big bitch of ham bamalam made the frog her man bamalam

Most babies will start to show signs of telekinetic ability at around 8 weeks; but if your little darling seems a little behind on this milestone, don’t worry! Experts say that psychic powers can manifest in many different forms, and on vastly differing timelines

Dog watching me change the baby and asking herself why she’s the only one in the house who has to poop outside

I’ve been playing a lot of Original Flavor Mass Effect while balancing a sleeping baby on my stomach. It’s pretty great and I want to fight anyone who doesn’t like the shooting! The baby’s favorite is Wrex!

when you have a newborn your hierarchy of needs is 95% made up of various kinds of pillows in distinct shapes to accommodate every conceivable weird posture. i don’t even want food anymore. i just want fucked up looking pillows

Hard launch! I have been hanging around exclusively with my new friend the baby for the last few weeks. The giant eye in the middle of her face comes from their mother’s side, which explains how beautiful and funny they are too

sentimental Christmas ads are getting out of hand, man. I will not be made to feel wistful at the behest of Home Store & More

this place is developing genuinely weird issues with replies

sublime couldn't write that two joints song today, because of inflation (weed too strong)