Alice Fraser presents A Passion For Passion: a sneakily deep & deeply silly dive into romantic literature. Love romantasy? Wonder if those tropes are physically possible? This is for you. May 16–17 | 8 PM Tickets here: https://www.sydneycomedyfest.com.au/event/alice-fraser-a-passion-for-passion/

slightly increase a band The Four Tops and Their Sub

Guy meets girl meets girl meets guy...on Mars!

If I ever became legit Bluesky famous I would simply decide to not be a terrible person. It's quite a simple choice, really. I'll probably talk about my toilets even more so you have that to look forward to. Sorry not sorry.

I wonder if Wallis Simpson ever tried to claim she inspired the Caesar Salad.

Happy Mother's Day to people who never had a mom, had an abusive mom, lost their mom, had to cut their mom out of their life, or their mom left. And especially to people who had to be their own mom. The world will forget you exist today but I truly never do.💕

I don't know why but when using herb mixes from Penzey's Herbes De Provence tend to disagree with me in a way your standard Italian Herbs doesn't. I know I talk a lot of shit about the Avignon Papacy but that's probably not related. Still. Makes ya think.

New game! Tiny town with a funny name or obscure sick burn? (It helps to say motherfucker after) You Cornhill-on-Tweed motherfucker!

The world is shit but my dishwasher plays a lil sea shanty when it's done so that's nice.

i wish you could choose to have all your pills coated in the advil candy shell

Good morning ☕️

What if we all did a silly and go to Spoutible

I don't know who needs to hear this, but in psychology, an organism's response to overwhelming stimuli is referred to as transmarginal inhibition, or...TMI.

Thinking about incorrectly correcting a buncha strangers' use of less to fewer

Good news, I'm adding Norman Bates to the rant about the inadvertant consequences of Knute Rockne.

"not all men," but horror is definitely full of men like these. enjoying the work of problematic men is nearly inescapable as the genre is saturated with them, which makes it important to know what you're looking at. 🧵⬇️

Somebody should go into Rudy's wiki and change all the verbs to future perfect, just to mess with people's preconceptions.

Slightly diminish a book. Mostly Clothed Afternoon Tea

I don't know who needs to hear this, but the brackets mean Pope added it.

It's dumb we call it corn and we all know it.

Remember during Covid when people were making unlikely internet friends and then John Hinckley was like "Hey anybody wanna jam sometime?"

idk "chortle" just kinda sounds like something full of pig parts

Jurassic Park star Sam Neill has announced that he is cancer-free after five years of battling blood cancer

Latest From Follows has been busted for days and nobody's saying anything about it

A friendly reminder when a telmarketer or bill collector calls, you can answer and say he/she/they/it is not available. They don't know your voice.

Someone locked their dog out on the balcony last night and it yelped for hours. No bedding or food or water I can see. Mildly scolding note on their door or a “hey who else heard yelping from apartment x” flyer in the elevator and let the fates take control?

I made something, mostly for my own amusement, but maybe y’all will like it: treacheryof.pics Make your own Magritte-style “Treachery of Images” image.

So do Celtics fans get mad when you pronounce it Celtics instead of Celtics or nah? Celtic fans, same question.

RIP Saddam Hussein. You would have loved the joke I made about you being into Blondie.

Someone take these last few spots on Alice's retreat. Richie and I can't go this year, and every time I hear there are still spots open I get fomo. Cure my selfish fomo, and also have a lovely, creatively inspiring time in the Swiss alps. It'll be good for your soul.

a scientific ranking of paintings called some variation of "woman with parrot": i like manet but. weak. the grey isn't doing any fuckery at all, though it seems to have thrown fruit on the floor at least. the lady's wearing flowy shit while she ignores the little bastard. she will regret this. 4/10

@kikivalken.bsky.social This is exactly why sad is box not sphere.

For the record I totally blocked Why before they blocked me.

Duck face is how you know someone is 100% serious about what they are currently doing

every few months, americans are asked to resume their banquet and pretend a shooting didn't just happen

my skin grafts would like Baltimore to know it is going to rain

“Let’s go, fellas. We have a lot of work to do today.” — Senile Satan

Kids today don’t know the horror of accidentally writing last year on a check and then having to correct it and sharing an awkward laugh with your prostitute.

I’m going straight to hell because I eight the sandbox.

This photo should be on the front page of every single newspaper in America today.

theirs was a love that could never be

Extremely thrilled anytime someone finds the newsletter, but it’s migrated to: www.thatsmarvelousnewsletter.com and it’s on Ghost’s platform now!

I've been depriving myself of more @joshgondelman.bsky.social for too long and just signed up for his newsletter. If you don't know his work that's easily fixed! joshgondelman.substack.com?r=ejpky&utm_...

I pirated a movie. On a scale of one to ten, I gave it a 3.1459265.

Petard toxicity is woke propaganda.

@iss-piss-tracker.bsky.social Just wanna say as someone who takes pictures of toilets and also gets alerts for when the ISS passes over: keep up the good work.

Incredible shots of the exchange between Rep. AOC and RFK, Jr. at today’s congressional hearing. (image credit: WSJ reporter @lizessleywhyte.bsky.social)