Woody Guthrie wrote a song called "Old Man Trump" that, shall we say, resonates today en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Old_Man...

The saddest part of 12 Monkeys is that struggling mother is gonna lose her phone number in 5 years to a carpet cleaning company unless she’s running that out of her home in which case hell yah lady, let all the dreamers wake the nation amirite

So I’m assuming when it happens enough of y’all will be talking about it, I shouldn’t have to scroll more than a second or two

rip to the giant sloth from the middle to late pliestocene and extinct since the arrival of early man at the end of the last ice age, you would have loved mixed use urban redevelopment districts

I made a horrible decision last night and told chat that I’d do a 24-hr livestream if we raise $100k with these streams by the 19th. So if that’s an incentive to tune in… there you go.

The real world is bad enough why do I make myself suffer through a bad audiobook narrator

Was at a coffee shop and saw a guy who looked like Paul Hollywood right as my friend said the name Paul and it wasn’t him but yknow I gotta believe in what little magic I can find

listen. when dolly parton’s sister says it’s time for us all to be prayer warriors for dolly. you fucking pray for dolly

the fellowship of the arts: thread

They would've cancelled William F. Buckley for being too woke

Got another email reminder warning me my points are about to expire at my local taco place. I haven't been there in awhile even though I really love it. And when I miss out on deals it's a genuine loss. I feel like fading friendships should come with such alerts.

Democracy is dead and journalism is but a mouthpiece for our oppressors but at least wait where was I going with this

Just checking. Looks like not yet.

Server: would you like some freshly grated cheese? Me: yes! *opens mouth*

Absolutely INSANE use of passive voice in this CNN piece just incredible @katmabu.bsky.social “landed on the ground” during the protest???

There’s a lot of bot posts and misinformation flying around online but after a slightly longer internet dive on my phone at 3am I can assure you all the little hole on nail clippers is for sticking it onto a key ring probably.

I have no idea what your post means but I'm feeling supportive so here's a reskeet

Random Facebook friends suggestions when you know them but got no mutuals is like here’s your old boss, your therapist, and that one asshole who came to writers group a couple times

Every once in a while I tell people from other countries about how the health insurance system works in the US and they are aghast. Yesterday a guy straight up didn’t believe me when I said people can die because of not being able to afford medicine. He was sure I meant in the distant past.

Someone stuck a fork in Lake Geneva.

Just wait til I'm outa town Thursday to close the borders

One of the things I miss about Twitter is levelling some dudebro with my mad rhetoricals and topping it with WHERE IS YOUR GOD NOW

I don't know who needs to hear this but it fell under the passenger car seat.

Noticing the “car and shades selfie bros” becoming the “selfie with barely above toddler so I can’t be threatening” but still saying the same exact drivel.

"why do you repost your own jokes" I want more attention

So I wanted to translate the line "let the bodies hit the floor" into latin and I got corpora pavimento cadant and cadere works ok but I think maybe a verb about gathering for a purpose encapsulates the spirit of the line

So I know it was only like a year or so but I'd love to find the people who had Epstein as their physics teacher because that's heckin wild.

Democrats should go full Cato and end every speech with "And furthermore, Trump must be removed."

Fun fact - when my dad's car got stolen, we filed a police report and got a call about two weeks later that it had been picked up by a tow truck. The cops didn't find the car - it had just been illegally parked and left. After paying to get it out, we realized that it was full of stuff.

Editing a scene that was moved to a new doc from a doc that was moved from the master doc and now I think I made changes on all 3 but nothing matters so it's fine.

Hot tip: when it comes to revolution by means of medieval devices, I always felt like the mangonel was the superior siege weapon.

It’s a miracle any non-white, non straight, non-citizen person in America is getting any work done right now— —While the regime is actively trying to purge us from government, workplaces, universities from its websites, and from society in general.

You heard the man, everyone send in a dead fish

One minute I'm writing a story based on a joke about 5-year old me, the next I'm learning how to write patent applications for a radiation shield that thus far has almost zero to do with said story.

Well here goes the next few months of creativity. Why do I do this to myself?

Hands Off! Phoenix. I was unable to get proper photos conveying the crowd size.

Going inside to order fast food and noting which car is in the back of the drive thru line so that when I leave I can see how much sooner I get served because I was willing to get out of my car for a few minutes is my antidrug.

If you ever find me in the bowels of a heavily guarded laboratory, peacefully suspended in a large tube of bubbling liquid, please mind your own business.

Quote with a gif of you on the day you wake up and finally hear the news:

for fuckin real

America really needs to have the ability to do a vote of no confidence on a leader right now.

No, Strom Thurmond did NOT renounce his segregationist views. He also never acknowledged his own daughter, Essie Mae Washington-Williams, whose mother was a 15-year-old black maid in the Thurmond household who he knocked up when he was 22. Strom Thurmond was NEVER "one of the good guys".

It’s always kinda goofy and corny but I legit look forward to Wikipedia’s annual April Fool’s “Did You Know?” section on the home page.

Sorry babe I know we were going out for drinks but I gotta correct this misinformation on the Star Trek wiki first

Hey so uhh saying that people specifically shouldn't be Jewish is uhhh literal just antisemitism. Like, people are saying it's antisemitic *because it is*

It’s weird checking who’s blocked me and being like aight don’t know why but I ain’t gonna like ask someone to ask or something that that would be messy

Future iteration of a screen time warning that I need