MONKEY-DRIVEN JET BIKE -- Hubs borrowed my car today for the six hour RT journey to visit his father.

BITCHES GET SHIT DONE -- One 15 gal. bag of garbage, one 15 gal bag of clutter (egg cartons, cardboard rolls, plastic bags), and one drum liner of plastic containers, ratty blanket, and two old rugs) have been banished from the dojo along with scores of "good boxes."

RAGE CLEANING -- With my good pals Obsession and Frustration.

if the elevator is thyssen-krupp the building owner knows what's up but if otis be the accursed brand know that thee and thine are damned

Rocking the Ab Fab vibes today. 🥂

taking tylenol PM so i am only autistic at night

The Dunkin' Donuts “time to make the donuts” guy was the incarnation of the working class’s portrayal of Sisyphus. His crime: trying to stay alive. His gods and tormentors: the corporation, his futile task: frying pastry for eternity.

If they think Tylenol is bad for children wait till they find out about guns.

SPELLING OUT H-E-L-P WITH BOOKS -- My coworker felt compelled to show me the entire website of snagtights.usa on her phone, which she carries in her bra.

My mother and father chain smoking Marlboros while she was pregnant didn't seem to impact me. I doubt Tylenol could have gotten through the thick cloud of smoke.

Stepping out to get lunch and the air is hurricaney.

The vibe was less "press conference" and more "old drunks at the bar."

God rapturing people up up up into the sky, past the stratosphere where they all freeze and suffocate: [celestial voice] D’OHH!!

HALF-DOCTOR, HALF-HOOKER -- Why the massage therapist gotta say things like "I just reset your nervous system." Not sure about all that, but was sufficiently greased up with lavender and patchouli, chunked under a heat lamp, and kneaded like homemade yeast dough.

I know antifa isn't a real organization because I don't get 40 texts a week from them asking for donations.

Too late, Batman. Once this Tylenol floods the city's water supply, my wiki won't run out of editors ever again

I’m fine with the Rapture as long as the man from Mars does not eat my cars and guitars and head

IT'S BEEN MEH -- Wrestled the lettuce bed and cloche up on the porch for winter gardening. Basil in the raised bed is lanky, but producing. Was very Hulk-smash this morning, but took a Buspar and having an icy Malibu & cola on the porch with Big Phat Phannie blowing. Sweet chile chicken marinates.

UNSATISFYING JOURNEY AND DEPRESSING DESTINATION -- Went to Squalor Hollow yesterday to visit Mama and Suddenly Sister. Mama was weak and grouchy. Sister was happy and bossy. The Fullereseses has cycled into two newer vehicles, so that's good.

LONE STAR SPOTTED SEMANTICS? -- Per the community college staff senate meeting today, we're supposed to stop using the word "visitor" and start using the word "guest."

RAIN -- By law, I'm required to sit out here and say "We needed this."

Overrated: saying things Underrated: shutting your stinking pie hole

Must not yell out random lyrics when I observe a library patron wearing various band shirts. "Many have I loved, and many times been bitten/Many times I've gazed along the open road... 19 y/o wearing Led Zeppelin shirt: "Whut?" *removes omnipresent ear-pods. "Mornin!" *derp*

Ooo...it's like if you rubbed a magic lamp, and instead of a genie, you got this talentless slob instead...

Coworker out sick, tutor is sick, but here, and supervisor is feeling "like he's coming down with something."

What is a scroad? A scroad is a member of a far-right online hate group. They split off from the groinks in 2017 after the Glunt War, which took place on fapchan. One of their members is a U.S. senator

novelty t-shirts were jsut proto shitpostes adn i love that

AGREE ON A SHADE OF WHITE-- Sunday afternoon. Me (astigmatism): "Guess I'll go clean my windshield. You know, for Monday morning and all." ALPHAS: "Taken care of, babe." ZETAS : "Ain't my car bitch."

ELK ILK -- American Pale Ale made with rye. 4.6 ABV. Fizzy and citrusy.

Hubs: "I made brexfas!" Me: "I see that..."

[the shooter is unidentified] the left must be purged with the sword [the shooter is, again, a compulsive masturbator who loved Hitler] I believe it was pascal who said that the heart has reasons that reason may not know

WHATUP CHEWTOYS! -- I also try to help Angry Moms (plural) and our work-study. They are 19 y/o & didn't know that ink is different than toner. Their girlfriend also attends classes there, and is very fashion forward (leather corset today, lace gloves tomorrow). One day, they were dressed the same.

HIGH STRUNG-ED-NESS -- Nursing students, followed by cosmetology students. I endeavor to give non-trads a little extra help if they need it. Along with my blessed nerd babies: a spastic set of twin girls Lola and Lily, Andrew from Big Mouth, Crimson Curls, ZenDen Dalton, Ragamuffin, and Early Guy.

GOATS,GRENADES, AND FOXHOLES -- Our other printer is down because of a burned out fuser. Leaving only "Library 2" as our sole printer. Funny now, not funny Monday morning when the nursing students swarm the library to print out PowerPoint for their classes.

STIR THE SOUP -- The lone wireless printer (ironically named ("student success center") lost the ability of tray-lift due to a spring malfunction the second week of classes. Secondary feeder tray worked but, higher-ups decided against printer that only works "a certain way."

USING CHEX-MIX AS A BOOKMARK -- Hubs is inside sick and watching some war movie. It's 92° but I got a fan, doomscrolling, light to intermediate stalking, and a beer with with a 6.3 ABV.

The problem with every post-Millennial generation is they got to go straight to high speed internet. Of course you'll get computer madness that way. Make them start with those old screeching modems and work their way up

@enthusmiasma.bsky.social Mmm. Diabeetus...

THE POP-UP BOOK OF PHOBIAS -- John, George, Paul, and Ringo present "The Book of Torsos."

TFW that first sip of coffee hits your tongue and you know everything’s gonna be meh.

ENTER THE ENTREE -- Dolly's Pot Roast. Meat was surprisingly tender, carrots were al-dente, but SAKES ALIVE at the sodium content.