When we saw the new A$AP Rocky artwork, featuring artwork by the one and only Tim Burton, our very first thought was: "We NEED to describe these images!" Click the alt text badge to see how we've done it.

w.b. yeats died on this day in 1939. if, instead of dying, he had begun to age again but in reverse, he would have reached his birth - i.e. become 0 years old - in 2012. Assuming that he then began ageing in the normal direction again, he would currently be 14 years old and preparing for his gcses

The rare times I am id'd now I tend to say something like "bloody hell, the last time someone under 18 looked this bad was during the somme"

Do you have to pass this test at the door?

My local rock club (Satan's Hollow) is doing an afternoon clubnight for ageing emos and you have to show ID to prove you're over 30. Best idea ever. Pic of me n me bestie there, back when we definitely weren't over 30

Absolutely luv Forgetting About Electric Callboy swiftly followed by Remembering About Electric Callboy

Before the pandemic I was working a pickle factory, but since then we've all been gherkin from home

Cinematic Parallels #TheTraitors #Traitors #TraitorsUK

I am generally in support of modern plumbing but also I can't stop thinking about how my house is full of Water and all that's stopping it bursting forth and ruining everything is a few small Seals and Twisty Things

“Like the agent who slipped on ice, they have misjudged the ground beneath their feet: a state full of ordinary people — real estate agents, high school students, solar energy consultants — who’ve decided that watching their neighbors being dragged away is an intolerable sin.”

Love that @jaythechou.bsky.social added alt text to this, but we couldn't resist extending it to reflect the image in its full glory. Enjoy! Alt text in comments.

genuinely if you’re still using twitter at this point there’s something wrong with you

If you have just moved to Bluesky I am that lass from Twitter who got a piece of post addressed to "Helen Sadbellend"

Best TikTok thing going is the two dudes trying food from every country without leaving NYC. If you haven’t seen them yet, it’s incredible. My favorite so far is last week’s. Legit got me emotional.

I’m not exaggerating when I say that in raising awareness of unconscious bias, #TheTraitors makes you wonder how fair the system of trial by jury really is for minorities.

You're not ready for the name of the energy transition specialist at Heat Pump Association UK

We can’t go on like this. In just two days, the average FTSE 100 CEO has made a median workers full time annual salary. The right calls this “wealth creation”. It’s wealth extraction. Time to tax the rich. @highpaycentre.bsky.social highpaycentre.org/fat-cat-day-...

I don't get people who write cards like this: "To Jim, Christmas Wishes, Margaret." Mine are more like: "Dearest friend, This Christmas, please remember I love you more than life itself. You are the finest person ever to exist. Remember when we were seven and you sneezed in my face -"

Tom came up with a new joke please clap: Q: What did Santa say when he slipped over on the roof? A: "It's reindeer!"

Why are people bothering with ChatGPT for more humanised responses when you can literally just add the word "Reddit" after your search term

I think we should seriously considering announcing that we'll eat the first trillionaire. Might make them think twice

Quite moved to report that Fleming ends the entire Bond saga with A RECIPE FOR SCRAMBLED EGGS

I worked at Argos while at sixth form, and a customer once brought in a slice of bread as evidence his toaster wasn't working.

we can kill them all if we just work together and ✨believe💫

If you are in need of a new fav Christmas song may I interest you in Christmas in L.A. by Vulfpeck. (video also has a delightful mid-2010s-internet-golden-era vibe) www.youtube.com/watch?v=d5K3...

If you care about the future of life on Earth, please read this then sign and share. theconversation.com/what-we-told...

Solidarity with the hunger strikers. It is an egregious violation for them to be held on remand - without trial or conviction. All for protesting against a genocide. Shameful.

I looked through my camera roll in case anyone asked for evidence of me working with Neil/Barry Scott and found this, I asked him to do a message for our agency's summer party and I literally have no idea why he started it like this lmao

Did a brand shoot with Barry/Neil and what a professional and a gem that man is.

Feeling wistful for the days I was Helen Sadbellend on Twitter.

My bank did its own Wrapped where it was like "you logged into our app 600 times and spent an unusually large amount in October" and I'm just here to say out loud that nobody wants this

Simply having a wonderful alt text advent. Day four. This is one wild festive theory we can wholeheartedly get behind. A joy to make it accessible to all! 🌜

Anyone else's Spotify Wrapped got them bang to rights? 🤘

Guess whose Spotify Wrapped

Alt text advent, day one. A classic of the genre, now with alt text to match. 🎅

new favourite New York Times term for a British thing just dropped

Only smear test appointment they had was on Christmas Eve. Festive

Our cat went for a walk this morning.

I was ~halfway through and loving it so I bought it for my friend and he was loving it. And then I finished it and I was like ohhh fuck what do I tell my friend

I left a year ago and it certain felt like I'd stayed way too long. I know some of you are still on there and I do judge you a wee bit tbh

TV conspiracies: we’ve hacked their computers but they’ve perfectly cleaned up the evidence! Real conspiracies: To: conspirator From: famous person Attachment: evidence.png

youtu.be/CPWxExGk7PM?... from 15 seconds your tweet matches the beat perfectly, up to and including the poop bit

Thrilled with this comment despite not being current enough to fully understand it :')

Yes the apple doesn't fall far from the tree but also squirrels eat the apples and poop the pips out over an area of several square miles

Okay, so this year's John Lewis Christmas ad featured beautiful audio description for blind and partially sighted people. And we fully believe this masterpiece of an edit from @bagpuss.org deserves the same treatment. Enjoy?

I left Twitter a year ago and it's been really nice. My brain is different now

For this thread only, the B in RNIB stands for beavers.

I don't know if there is an oldest selfie from your phone thing going around but I'm delighted that the oldest selfie in my photos is this, from March 2011. Posing with my poor injured dog and proving once and for all that MySpace is a mindset not a website