We built a calculator that doesn't work, but don't worry, it's also a plagiarism machine that will tell you to kill yourself. It runs on the world's oceans and costs 10 trillion dollars.

@mrdavidreed.bsky.social was the first guest I had on who I didn't already know personally. It's since become one of my favourite chats and is also the episode that gets quoted the most by listeners (and other guests) in terms of advice and comedy wisdom. Definitely give it a listen!

This will be brilliant. Treat yourself.

music.apple.com/gb/album/dad... A six-track EP of the awesome music from Daddy Issues is now available. James Righton is the musical genius behind it all. So lucky to have him onboard and frankly over-delivering track after gorgeous track 🙏

John Kearns and Penny Dreadfuls trio take on Sherlock Holms

Penny Dreadfuls fans may be interested to know that Humphrey and I have written a very daft murder mystery and we’ll be playing Holmes & Watson in it. Christmas in Birmingham this year anyone? variety.com/2025/theater...

This Saturday.

I was John Hegley’s drummer for a bit. This line and other delights are seared into my mind.

We had a blast this week workshopping mine and @humphreyker.bsky.social ‘s Christmas play for Birmingham Rep. I can’t share anything with you yet, so here’s a photo of my dog. Tickets now on sale!* www.birmingham-rep.co.uk/whats-on/she... * For the show not my dog.

Chuffed to bits that my sci-fi comedy ZEROES has been nominated for an ARIA. Massive congratulations to our brilliant team.

Brighton friends should go and see John-Luke do his thing. He’s unlike anyone else out there. Live comedy at its best.

LEGENDS!

It is incredibly generous/foolhardy/noble of Suki & Paul to let Miles and I share a stage once again. Last time I force fed him a LOT of beef.

Best Star Trek Crew wrong answers only.

Whoops!

Listen up rice fans!

Aaaw, look at the past, when @turlygod.bsky.social (radiance!) couldn't be married by @sandling.bsky.social without Sean Connery sticking his oar in: www.youtube.com/watch?si=bEi...

Well done team The Many Wrongs of Lord Christian Brighty!

Read all about my new show Sherlock Holmes & The 12 Days of Christmas here! www.theguardian.com/stage/2025/f...

I can finally talk about the show I’ve been working on. SHERLOCK HOLMES and The 12 Days of Christmas Written by Humphrey Ker & David Reed Original songs by Andrew Lloyd-Webber & Tim Rice That’s my Christmas plans sorted! 🔗 www.birmingham-rep.co.uk/whats-on/she...

And we’re back… ❤️

Trigger warning: This story about Caroll Spinney, the man inside Big Bird, might make the room dusty

He's making a list Of possible ways Your maiden aunt died In a topiary maze Sherlock Holmes is coming to town

My new comedy sci-fi adventure series is out now on Audible. I urge you all to listen, rate & share. 🔗 www.audible.co.uk/pd/Zeroes-Au...

My new series is out today. Sci-fi adventure comedy ZEROES starring Paterson Joseph & Danielle Vitalis. Give us a listen. www.audible.com/pd/Zeroes-Au...

This is a new thing. If you liked the book, or Comfort Blanket, or Rule of Three, and want more comedy chat, from insiders and people who know how it works, join the paid Substack and I’ll make loads more of these (whenever I bump into someone who has some good chat to share…)

A great thing that John Kearns said on the Always Be Comedy podcast. When you get the end credits on films these days that go on for ages, why don’t we tell kids that those are all jobs they could do? Like, you can be part of this, it’s real.

Bond film anagrams. A thread. Dr. No (1962)

Start again.