If you're not getting paid to watch it, and are watching the SOTU for free voluntarily, I gotta assume you're down to some real cenobite shit. What kinds of barbed hooks you got bro

Formal invitation to the hockey team sent,,, if any people with connections to the hockey team wanna have them email my team my bio. I’m for real. 👍🏾👍🏾👍🏾

As a Boston-area musician who’s been around a few decades, I’ll tell you this: everyone has an Evan Dando story. Nobody is surprised by any of this. And as someone in recovery, I’m gonna need folks to stop making this solely about his substance abuse issues. This behavior is entirely separate.

kid-in-the-brown-hoodie is a whole-ass ideology

Fellas - here’s the thing: if you get the idea that someone you know might like to see a picture of your dick? The answer is always no. Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.

Cool! I’m on the other side of it now and YOU’RE SO RIGHT. I was just a raging bigot sociopath cuz hormones.

I’m watching a lot of petty, mean-spirited haters dunking on Kid Rock on every platform and seriously you all rock.

The reemergence of Neil Gaiman on social media yesterday was certainly perfect timing, since everything is terrible to begin with. Evan here pretty much sums it up, so no need for florid prose on my part.

holy shit what a surprise who would have thought I can’t believe it

Yup. The amount of blowback and horizontal violence from my fellow white women over this kind of thing is something else. If your immediate reaction to being asked to think about a nuanced take is to take your ball of yarn and flounce from activist spaces, that’s a problem.

The performance activism that's emerging in this moment is annoying. So, I wrote about it. open.substack.com/pub/shaystew...

It's clarifying to see these chodes with their masks down, asses out for the world to see, and as the irredeemable incel losers that they truly are

Bovino shows Homan how he gets results in Minneapolis.

Alex Pretti was a colleague at the VA. We hired him to recruit for our trial. He became an ICU nurse- I lover working with him. He was a good kind person who lived to help and these fuckers executed him. White. Hot. Rage.

If you’re not from here, I need to explain this execution was on Eat Street, a commercial corridor of restaurants and coffee shops that literally everyone goes to. Normies, queermos, weirdos, neighborhood folks. Whatever that place is in your city, imagine ICE executing someone in cold blood there.

Occurs to me that I didn’t post this over the holidays when I should have. I made a Christmas tree wig for show with my B-52s tribute band. Find joy where you can, folks.

I mean, YOU’D think…

Fucking ghouls. All of them.

lady looks like she's about to ask the ghostbusters if they're gods.

Paul: What’s next? Blowing up trucks? Hegseth: Hold my grenade launcher.

The DC shooting story is really getting to me because we literally trained this man as a child soldier for a death squad in a forever war and Stephen Miller et al want to blame it on other cultures? It's our culture, American culture, that killed that woman.

We have such sights to show you, Charlie Brown.

interesting fact: noah smith is part of an ongoing experiment designed to see how much you could smooth a person’s brain out before they can no longer function

The Dowager Duchess Foot Foot is not amused. #caturday

Tell me again about this “Trump Derangement Syndrome” we all apparently have on the left?

STOP. This is a selfie checkpoint. You must repost with a cute selfie to proceed.

"From his mouth the bullet theoretical launched the bullet possible."

All I’m saying is that the guy who consistently looks like an uncooked cornish game hen rolled in cat hair has no business saying “Quiet, piggy” to anyone.

What they don’t seem to get is that normal people hate pedophiles regardless of their political affiliation.

Non-US citizen - who's taken the president position from an American BU student - butthurt because there are brown people working at a car wash, brags about being an absolute donkeyscrote on social media. He sounds like a delightful young man.

Every day. Every. Day.

my official statement as a biologist is that we are all complex poop tubes

I’m concerned about a former MTV reality show bro being the Secretary of Transportation but yet here we are.

As we look toward next year & make preparations for horror events, organizers, I IMPLORE you to diversify your Women in Horror panels! Perspectives are SO important in the genre, so let me help you. Starting off: 160 BLACK WOMEN IN HORROR. Find wherever books are sold! Find your new faves here. 👻

John Fetterman is like if you asked AI to make an unlikable American Shrek.

Siouxsie Sioux. I’d get a dead fish handshake, if that.

maybe it's a bad idea to make a bunch of old dudes stand around on camera for an hour while everyone takes turns kissing Trump's ass

I feel like we don’t say “fuck Ronald Reagan” enough.

Anyone who was more upset about the Cracker Barrel logo being updated than the entire East Wing being demolished for a gaudy golden ballroom should be fired into the Sun.

George Santos has learned his lesson. by Susan Collins

“Kings….they wear capes, right? With those kind of….tassely things? Gold. Very impressive. I’d like to have one. But I’m not a king so I can’t. That’s what they tell me. I don’t know.”

I sure hope there are lafufus in hell. Because I absolutely bark-laughed at this.

🚨 *Breaking News* Robby Roadsteamer has been detained by ICE Portland after singing Rod Stewart with the Portland Frog! We need your help! Please support Robby's campaign and lawyer fees at robbyroadsteamer.com link on bio 💙🦒🦒🦒

Oh shit. Ohhhhh shit. No, but Malcolm Travis on that first Sugar rekkid is THE reason I play drums.

Well, they’re going to be held in Foxborough, so maybe take it up with their Board of Selectmen I guess.

Every time I see this sentient hamhock make the headlines, I think, “Man, that guy is FOUR years younger than me and he’s out here looking like that.” apnews.com/article/supr...

When someone is an objectively *terrible* choice for the position, we call it out. If it had been, say, Ben Shapiro the pushback would be considerably higher. Surely you cannot be this basic.

Like beer sweats and earring backs.