Nobody believes it took a year for this drunk to figure out what "86" means

Donald Trump: "They're trying to kill me!" 230 million Americans: "GOOD!!!!!!"

The fruits of a 70 year assault on public education are blooming, and they are bitter

The only shots that were fired were from the Secret Service, who missed the gunman and instead somehow shot himself in his chest body armor.

gotta love it when the initial wave of "I hope they both lose" breaks on the rocks of "actually, I do hate Elon the most"

Oh Bill, bless your heart. Coasting on claps for 30 years and thinking he's a comedic genius and a journalist, meanwhile getting all his information from Bari Weiss.

You guys should probably just not vote anymore if you were tricked by the guy who has been a public buffoon and villain for 40 years.

Do I dare defy destiny?

This is why I'm not celebrating Democratic party gerrymandering. The party is still in a quiet conflict over what it actually stands for, and one of the factions vying for power is just as fascist, insane, and corrupt as the GOP (see: Gavin Newsom) and it's really not clear which faction will win.

Trump's hand looks like Charles' hand after someone popped it

This is the slowest bubble burst. We know these companies are bullshit, they all rushed out tech that wasn't ready but lied to investors about their future profitability and now they're all failing to meet their timelies and running out of other people's money. Stop teasing us and pop already!

Let's go further and make them leave the entire planet or be taxed at 100%

Democrats could win 2026 elections TODAY by saying “if they build it, in the first week of our majority we will blow it up.” Special nationwide lottery to win the chance to press the ‘blow that shit up’ button will pay for cleanup.

So this means the hundreds of millions Trump already raised from "private donors" (who also coincidentally had important cases before the Supreme Court and business with the Federal Government) will just go straight into Trump's sweaty pedophile pockets?

One constant among would-be assassins of right wing figures is that they have incomprehensible internet-brained politics

fyi this is the kimmel comedy routine MELANIA DOES NOT WANT YOU TO SEE. definitely do not like and share it or else the MOST UNPOPULAR FIRST LADY IN HISTORY will be mad. youtu.be/GRjKhsJc95o

ok this is legit shocking!!! The person with the most traffic tickets in all of NYC turns out to be an NYPD officer from Staten Island. jk it’s not shocking at all lmao

Because Hakeem Jeffries, Chuck Schumer, and Donald Trump are broadly on the same political team. Parties are an illusion when our politics are controlled by billionaires and money.

Quick question, did the gunman shoot through the windows here or....?

I actually don't care that much about Taylor Lorenz going to the WCHA but her response to it and the insane lying about it is extremely damaging to her, as it should be. Who is supposed to be fooled by this?

What happened was, one of the agents said they recently saw Cirque du Soleil and I said it's not that impressive, anyone can do that stuff, and he said "I bet you can't do a somersault right now" and so I did 50 of them in a row

My son loves me, Yukio Mishima, the History Channel, and the Japanese invasion of Manchuria. He's very normal by the way.

"I didn't rape anybody" says man who was found liable for rape by a jury "I'm not a pedophile" says Jeffrey Epstein's best friend

Dabbling in vegetarian meals

Holy shit. Holy. Shit. Trump sent the Gestapo to kidnap kids and shoot helpers in HIS TOWN.

I CALLED IT!

You expect me to believe Kash Patel stayed sober through the party and didn't know something was coming?

no journalists were present. feel bad for the waiters

omg shots fired at the WHCA Dinner?? I hope no one is okay!

The members of the WHCA are truly trash human beings. Absolutely part of the reason we are where we are as a country.

I had a dream that I was a journalist getting a behind the scenes tour of Palantir to show off advanced deadly biotech they've been working on. On the tour they revealed that they found Atlantis and that humanity are just Atlanteans who got Gold Disease and went to the surface to find more gold.

As a Jewish person, this is an assault on the very values of liberal pluralism that have made the US a comparatively good place for Jews to live.

mexican coke is a health drink because it contains real sugar. people should drink it instead of water

<Trent Reznor "Closer" voice> I want a cromulent fuckcrustable

The Access of Evil

It's a good morning indeed

All adults and some children on ICE flights—some 50 flights a day now—are shackled at the wrists and ankles attached to a chain around their waists. I have spoken to migrants and their attorneys who report being shackled for 50, 75, and 82 hours while being deported. Flight data backs this up.

This is just a setup for the Dark Hollywood Cinematic Universe

it is important to emphasize that this was *the point*. this was *intentional*. elon musk is a vicious white supremacist who thinks poor african children ought to die, so that the world can be whiter

kudos to kotaku for running maybe the flattest of flat-affect mr. beast photos, you can put anything over it and have it work

enigma of amigara fault #lego

Let's fucking gooooo

While we're talking percentages, let's talk about the proposed cuts to NASA's science budget. NASA is currently 0.36% of US federal spending. www.planetary.org/space-policy... The proposed budget cuts NASA science by 47%. NASA science is already on a shoestring, and that string is about to break

Anyone who shows up for this travesty is knowingly choosing to act as a prop for authoritarian kabuki because they’re too cowardly or amoral to pass up vapid schmoozing and free drinks. They deserve your contempt, and possibly a few pieces of rotting produce.

There is a reason Watergate was broken by Woodward & Bernstein on the metro desk AND NOT by the White House press corps. Izzy Stone was mocking White House reporters as useless back in the 1950s

So, the guy who thinks that witches have taken over California is now the acting Secretary of the Navy? Super.

From a fellow librarian, trustee, and patron, sending solidarity to library workers across the world on National Library Workers Day Libraries work because we do ✊️

"I'll be tormented for a long time by the fact that I pulled the football away from Charlie Brown"