Body clock woke me up anyway. But oh the feeling of just rolling over….😌

I have turned off my alarm for tomorrow despite not being reminded

Off to a 40th shortly. Can everyone PLEASE stop turning 40

Listening to some #proper80s now youtu.be/jL8AgEzg5fI?...

Peroni Birra Moretti Estrella Madri Stella Artois San Miguel Poretti Kronenbourg Asahi Sobriety

Why aren’t my other muscles made out of ribs and diaphragms and stuff that just go on forever

Had a nightmare breakfast butty. Ordered a sausage sandwich with a hash brown and tomato sauce, but received actually sliced tomato. And the only red sauce to hand had 50% less salt and sugar.

I will say ‘good morning’ now in case the networks get overloaded

Really wish I knew what flavour crisps Emma had on her sandwich. I guess we’ll never know

I had three cans of fosters but I’ll probably play it down a bit at work tomoz

Sometimes you just have to roll with it

The sexual tension between my main and my alt

AWAKE BRITAIN, BUT NEEDS COFFEE AND A SHIT, JUST LEAVE BRITAIN ALONE FOR TEN MINUTES, PLEASE

A second BBC has hit the BBC

Three things aren’t working this evening. Three! I can handle one, but three!

The rain has set in on a certain region of my jeans

The Monday alarm always hits hardest

My mate is currently saying: “come and see the invisible car.”

“And if you could sum that up in four words for clickbait, Your Highness...?” - The Daily Star

lolled

I am watching a Netflix original sitcom from 2016. I think it’s quite good so far. I came across it by accident but actually haha imagine if there was some sort of algorithm that would suggest these things

How is it bedtime already smdh

Just saw a "hack" on Instagram that is turning the numbered valve on a radiator to make it hotter or colder.

[roll titles for Casualty]

I have made the mistake of rewinding 30 seconds while streaming channel 4

The Scotch, who are famous for their beers, have provided me with a train #can for the way home

I am high on MSG and Moretti Sale de Mer. I am high on salt.

Oh my

Peroni in the freezer I know I know it’s delicious

this isn't mediation it's a debeefing

Hoping another broken Azure will give us the last hour off

Heading into town for a refreshing pint of beer

I have been on the phone to Rugby

The couple next to me are sharing a pizza and a beef brisket. Excellent ordering.

It’s world pasta day on Saturday and I for one might eat some pasta, or I might not.

Someone in the building is cooking burgers and there’s a lot of Los Pollos Hermanos in this episode, it’s all too much.

I see that Wordle etc uses AWS. Might have to buy a puzzle book. Remember them?

he died doing what he loved being murdered

I have put myself in the hands of a friend, who has brought me to an pub

This morning I clocked that it was daylight before I clocked it was Saturday

It can’t possibly be 6:45. It’s was 6:00 two minutes ago

just deleted a macaroon

Hi guys, I’ve definitely not been kidnapped

Why am I getting up now? It’s still nighttime. Is this a prank?

we’ll we’ll we’ll if it isn’t my old friend autocorrect

Santander have handpicked some rewards for me, including pet food and days out with the kids.

Morrisons have stopped joining their 30l tie kitchen bin bags, they’re not perforated any more, just cleverly overlapped in a roll so you can easily pull one out to use. This is a bigger human technological achievement than men walking on the moon but no one is talking about it.