As long as Achilles says “we thought you was a toad!” I don’t care about the odyssey

Why would progressives make a bid to MAGA, maybe MAGA should consider pulling their empty head out of their racist ass and making bids the other way instead

anton chigurh: heads or tails. you must chose. me: is that a Prince Valiant cut? anton: yeah it used to have more volume me: you want to use something light on it, no silicone-heavy washes and of course... both of us (laughing): blow dry from the roots! me: alright heads anton: it's tails

I once asked a priest to bless a printer that I was in the middle of fighting with and he went "I only bless things when there's a chance it'll take" and then turned and walked out of the room.

I'm sure this is fine™

saw a self-described cishet man call himself “neuroqueer” because he has a skincare regimen

remember when the loading screen on this app was a pixelated image of clouds

It's pride month, you know what that means

"It's only then you realize while you're talking about organizing and committees, the extermination has already begun."

this is so fucking funny

i did not endure years of the unfunniest people parroting charlie the unicorn for people to now be saying this

lol the shooter has a BLUE SKY ACCOUNT, well here’s one excuse that won’t work:

does will stancil know the shooter was one of his reply guys

Forgot to add this one

“Being rich is not about how much money you have or how many homes you own; it's the freedom to buy any book you want without looking at the price and wondering if you can afford it.” ~ John Waters

Furries will literally assist in pushing the boundaries of space exploration and be like “Soooooo, I did thing. 👉🏻👈🏻”

I'm blockading the straight of hormuz with my FAT ASS

speepy

Opening Wikipedia for ‘Hungary’: quick thread abou

went to urgent care because I was up all night coughing up blood and had a temperature of 103 and the doctor says “try drinking some tea with honey in it.” I gotta get out of portland

happy easter

wow I didn’t know this app was pro-censorship

was just reminded that tomorrow is april fool’s day and especially this year can we just… not, please

friend got a pic! lmao

forgot to take pics in costume before the show (again)

Please enjoy the two minute crucible that is this turtle trying to get on to a log that other turtles are on.

Demon twink final boss

Oh hey look! One of my favorite humans (and one of Portland’s most talented performers) is on Bluesky!

Made a sculpture today

My alabaster milk child Teuton keeps asking for ranch dressing at the caviar factory, it is most epic. The fishmongers despise him.

posted the full (5+ minutes!) video of this drag/burlesque performance over on O.F. for $5–you know you wanna see it 💘 onlyfans.com/2315696362/s...

i for one am shocked that the "i go in the pool to cool down, why can't my phone?" guy is bad at programming and offloading his job to the anthropic api

posted the full (5+ minutes!) video of this drag/burlesque performance over on O.F. for $5–you know you wanna see it 💘 onlyfans.com/2315696362/s...

check out my cleaning supplies

couldn’t find Ripley but then I checked the closet

taquito’s face is killing me

Sometimes there will be dog poop in my apartment building's parking lot. And someone will see it and complain management, and then management will email everyone a reminder to pick up after their pets. A few people will feel like they did something, and there will still be shit in the parking lot.

A few photos from the show this weekend 💅

remember will stancil?

“Are you a good enough person to vote for a very bad person?” does seem to put the onus in the wrong place

“aren’t you gonna try to kick the football again, charlie brown?”

my friend said he didn’t want any bday gifts, just a drawing “of something he likes” so I drew this for him