Ikea says you can't play The Floor Is Lava

🎵Iä Yog-Sothoth Neblod zin Neblod zin Iä Yog-Sothoth Neblod zin Cthulhu ftaghn Ftaghn R'lyeh Iä Yog-Sothoth neblod zin🎵

It is 2019... It is 2021... It is 2022... It is 2025... It is 2026...

all this is both foolish and unnecessary

higgledy-piggledy whale statements

Let’s make 2026 the year we erase the song Imagine from the collective consciousness

another robot highlight for 2025: man wearing humanoid mocap suit kicks himself in the balls

Late-breaking news on a Friday that doesn't suck and is actually welcome. Didn't think that was something we could do.

It's so fucked up to have been a kid during the D&D is the devil freakout and the Tipper Gore dirty lyrics freakout and live to see the teen suicide machine get such a pass.

SKULL OF THOMAS AQUINAS: TAKE A LEFT NOW PRIEST: No, the GPS says we have to keep going— SKULL: I KNOW A SHORTCUT PRIEST: Do you remember the last ti— SKULL: FOR THOSE WITH FAITH, NO EVIDENCE IS NECESSARY; FOR THOSE WITHOUT IT, NO EVIDENCE WILL SUFFICE

The 2:18 train will arrive at 2:30, the 2:25 train will arrive at 2:35, the 2:30 train will arrive at 2:40, and rumors of the 2:40 train are seditious and forbidden.

Frank Gehry will be laid to rest in a polished copper mausoleum evocative of a nautilus shell, festooned with overlapping parabolic surfaces which will focus sunlight on adjacent graves, melting them into slag.

all my apes, raptured

🫜

I know it was you, Charlie Brown. You broke my heart. You broke my heart.

This mural has gone up in Kingston, ostensibly for Christmas but AI has ensured it's actually to celebrate the return of our dark lord Cthulhu

Regret to report that Google Calendar assumes the Gregorian calendar has been in use since the dawn of time.

Failed the Little Drummer Boy Challenge two weeks before Thanksgiving thanks to an Etsy ad on Youtube. Jerks.

The amount of stupidly needless and needlessly stupid applications of this dumbass technology is legitimately impressive, like they’re TRYING to be terrible. It’s possible that sometimes something actually helpful is stumbled upon and that person gets yelled at

DB Cooper was the Lindbergh Baby.

[To the tune of Pretty Woman by Roy Orbison] 🎵Baba Yaga 🎵Walking down the street 🎵Baba Yaga 🎵House with chicken feet 🎵Baba Yaga

Also, very important:

Was having sex in the blue whale wrong? Should I have not done that? I tell you I gotta plead ignorance on this thing because if anyone had said anything to me at all that that sort of thing was frowned upon. Because I’ve worked in a lot of museums and I tell you people do that all the time.

Chuck Schumer Helps Pull Democrats Back From Brink Of Courage

Thread: $TSLA isn't a legitimate business; it's a charismatic death cult. Or an elaborate con job. Or both. Probably both.

Wow! 😮🤩 There's a new interactive map of Every Known Road in the Roman Empire!! 🤓 itiner-e.org We might have to have a lie-down.

Staten Island inventing whole new ways of demonstrating that they suck.

Anytime you're ready, Alan.

Actually, seeing a man of color, getting scared, and calling The Police, is pretty typical racist behavior

Head of Vecna As A Service

Oh my god some fucking tech dingdong posted this on Twitter with the caption "AI games are going to be amazing" totally seriously, you have to watch it. You have to. In full screen.

I fucking knew it.

lmao god i love linkedin

Ever seen a 750-pound muskox face off with a 210-pound pumpkin? 💥 Hudson did, and won! 🏆 Catch more pumpkin-smashing, leaf-crunching, fall fun during #ZooBoo, October 18 & 19. 🎃🐾

I am merely aiding the police in their inquiries, it is simply a way of passing the time for me, and the constables, they are gracious enough to accept my assistance, all unpaid, of course. If you, too, will humor me by joining the other guests in the parlor I would like to share some of my findings

women don't like the vehicle youtu.be/l9YYKQ2Ek4c?...

Whoa. Fewer than 20 questions to get there.

In case anyone has never seen the commercial that Terry Pratchett said inspired him (sort of) while writing Good Omens:

Belt buckle of the guy who makes you think, "We need to pay our check and leave this diner NOW."

The bees have discovered Brutalism

So is this Rupture thing that's supposed to happen tomorrow going to leave a big mess? Are we going to have to clean up after it, or are there people for that?