Well…that disappointing

We all know Airports are insane, but I would rather spend 4 hours in any given airport than a full hour in Union Station. It makes me feel absolutely insane every minute I spend there

Whenever I buy my Metra ticket before getting on the train they end up not checking it!

I’m being so brave and not bringing my laptop with…please clap

These should only be used for bringing outside food and drink into the theaters

Put micro-transactions on car horns, I’m sick of hearing them!!

I cannot think of a single thing I’d need my laptop for if I have my iPad, but I’m still like…completely convinced I need to bring it…

The morning of leaving for a trip is so stressful. I’m certain I’m forgetting something!!

I *really* hope this works

He made half the city shut down and every fan endure a 2 hour security line so he could go to the NBA finals and sleep through it.

Oh it’s so satisfying

A married Ken Paxton having multiple affairs that led his wife to file for divorce on "biblical grounds"? Not a problem. A single James Talarico dating one woman and then, my God, later dating another? SCANDAL. (And as always: Paxton Pardoned a Pedophile)

pretty fucked up to tell me it's "pride month" and then not let me buy a large number of lions

Knicks? You mean the orange team, the same color as cheeto Hitler? And the Spurs? You mean the bone spurs taco drumpf had during Vietnam? No thank you, I care about our democracy

Genius

The 1979 Star Trek poster resembles a Pride flag but it seemed like something was missing so I added some square wrinkles

THAT'S LITERALLY NOT WHAT PRIDE IS ABOUT

The right to blow up the state of Indiana belongs to the city of Chicago and anyone who tries to do it instead will face the Deep Dish Wrath

If all you’re using Bluesky just to recycle your day old jokes from Twitter, the least you can do is at least update the dates you refer to in order to be accurate

Actually find it incredibly annoying that to pick up a prescription at CVS now I have to do all the work to look it up on an iPad myself.

Maybe now is a good time to discuss how MSG, monosodium glutamate, is actually partly responsible for the proliferation of the upscale taste we call "umami," and that anti-MSG pearl-clutching, none of whose health effects are borne out by scientific study, is really just weird anti-Asian sentiment.

These people are suuuuuuuch losers lmao

Ayyy, I’m not walkin’ here!

Learning that the guy I slept with and have been pining over since was only 24 and now I feel insane

There’s something particularly sinister about using the full “cuckolds” as opposed to simply “cucks”

Only two days of work this week so should be feeling great; but I am simply not looking forward to my family vacation and that is making me feel guilty

TIL about Ultronica Ultron’s daughter and - more importantly - Dad Bod Ultron.

What are the odds Trump fully bails on The Knicks tonight after making it into such a to-do??

this week marks 10 years since "milkshake duck" was coined

More like Spencer Splatt, amirite??

from "James Madison"

This is semi formal, yeah? Please say yes.

saw a pigeon running across the street trying to avoid getting hit by a car

This whole “they started calling us dirt bags so we started being dirt bags” narrative isn’t any different from “they called us racist so we started being racist” and both are a way to avoid the idea you got clocked and don’t want to admit they knew what you were about from jump.

I feel like this whole “HR Lady” thing is about to become incredibly widespread and annoying online and I would really love to do simply one (1) political discussion that isn’t just GENDER but I don’t think that will ever happen again

Good news! The farmers market starts up again today! Bad news! The Pickle Guy hasn't come back this year, so it's a pickleless market :(

Hey guys I got Taco Bell and now I’m gonna go home and sit on the couch and eat Taco Bell and smoke a joint hope you all enjoy your Taco Bell

anyone want some Taco Bell? I’m getting Taco Bell and could get you some Taco Bell if you also wanted Taco Bell

I don’t mean this in a right wing stop the count way but like….why does it take California so long to count votes? Like what’s going on there??

Worked a shift at the gay guy at the beach factory

"What do you want to get out of therapy?" is a question on the intake form and idk, can I just put please fix me?

Didn’t realize that the dry cleaner was cash only but the woman let me take my shirt and said I could pay her next time but I have no idea how she would remember me

I’ve done one set of squats and I’m already the sweatiest I’ve ever been

Nancy 6/5/26

Should I have the leftovers I was saving for dinner now (very hungry) and then get Taco Bell tonight after book club?

Hey what insane news do we think is gonna break over the next couple hours?? Feels like one of those Fridays

A perfect film tbh. Will never not adore it

The Truman Show was released in theaters on this day in 1998 📺

Would love if something wasn't Gender like, one time.

this is more british than downton abbey