They hate me over there.

My commissions are still open. I’m away from work until Monday 15th December but drop me an email if you’re looking for a portrait of your fave human, animal or mystical creature. Thanks to all my lovely customers so far ❤️

This took me far too long to make. If only there was some kind of machine could've done it for me…

Great evening at The Bookseller Crow at an event with @deserterblog.bsky.social and my excellent pal @whenisbirths.bsky.social in conversation with @clairywoowoo.bsky.social about his 80stastic new book Into The Groove

uh oh

Tom Waits in Portobello Road 1976 📷 Michael Putland

Yes I know them, we went to Twitter together.

💃🏻💃🏻💃🏻

Meeting @bibilynch.bsky.social for coffee this afternoon. I hope she doesn't make me help her pick out new extra strong gusset underwear to buy, again.

Go and find the whole podcast. How they get to this makes it even funnier.

So many men online are clueless about romance so here's a tip on how to conduct yourself on a date, guys If a lady offers to pay for your meal on the 1st date, BE A GENTLEMAN by politely declining and insisting that your parents, whom you've brought along as chaperones, will pay for all four of you

Give him some breast milk immediately!

Love this guy

L'esprit de l'escalier

Is it a lack of copy editors?

.really boring pretty ... us cool to fans waving girls topless two with sun the in cushions our on sit we while fingernails our trimming and gin drinking

The Liverpool press officer during that Salah interview is sending me. 🤣

Bored.

Baby Bibi headshot. Brought to you by renowned photography firm Youth, Hope, Sunbeds and Perms. #Showbiz ❤️❤️❤️🌞✨➿➿➿

NN, losers. Xx

Mo Salah: ‘Why should it end this way? Five months ago I was winning awards, now why go in this direction? Everyone in the team is not in this form but I am the one who has to defend himself. There is no relationship [with Slot]. It was a very good relationship. Now there is no relationship.’ #LFC

Really fancy crumble and custard now.

Send help.

With @bibilynch.bsky.social on Our Kid, @sliderulesyou.bsky.social on The Telebugs, @brokenbottleboy.bsky.social on Sharky And George, @scriblit.bsky.social on Mr. Men Songs, @gracedent.bsky.social on the Max Headroom Broadcast Signal Intrusion Incident and more. timworthington.org/2022/05/19/t...

Me when I’ve unloaded the dishwasher yet again.

Love this. Amanda Harwal - Art of the Zebra

I do not write much but there is not a day goes by that I do not think of you.

Late Queen’s cousin pays £2,200 a year for luxury home in Richmond www.thetimes.com/article/fa86...

I've said Amazeballs once, and stopped the car to do so...

Woman on train just said ‘amazeballs’. And meant it. She’s now talking about playing padel. And, of course, time for YouTube without earphones/buds. If you want me, I’ll be jumping on the track.

I have a yellow stain on my cords. I don’t want to talk about it.

Shirley Baker, UK photographer, best known for her street photography and street portraits in working class areas of Greater Manchester in the 1960s #WomensArt

NN, losers. Xx

It's that time of year again

Today is World AIDS Day, a day that reminds me of the decades-long fight for dignity, science, and compassion. We’ve come so far because activists, researchers, and communities refused to be ignored.

A playlist for curry lovers… 🎵 It’s My Chapati (and I’ll Cry If I Want To) 🎵 Jalfrezi Little Thing Called Love 🎵 Paneer There and Everywhere 🎵 Knockin on Heaven’s Tandoor 🎵 Don’t Peschwari, Be Happy 🎵 Naan, I Feel Like a Woman 🎵 Poppadom Preach 🎵 Tears On My Pilau 🎵 Paperback Raita 🎵 Nessun Korma

I was diagnosed with #HIV in 1998, when I was 30. Many of my friends had died of AIDS. I did not expect to live to 50. I’m 58 now. HIV treatment works. Treatment also makes it impossible for me to pass HIV on during sex. Ensure HIV treatment for all. End HIV stigma. #WorldAIDSDay

The secret to early retirement; dine out rarely, fly economy and be a Google employee making $390,000/year married to a fellow Google employee 17 years older than you who likely makes twice as much as you.

Real time meltdown. Be grateful you don’t know me IRL. (You won’t be interested to know my poor brain ‘resolved’ the issue in message six.)

Incendies. Just read the plot. Jesus.

Sometimes I ‘undo’ an email send just to feel something. Know what I mean?

Anyone lost their keys? 🎹 HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Don’t leave me.

I HATE the Festive Season.  Made the mistake of telling a beau that — for he thereafter referred to me as ‘The Lynch who Stole Christmas’.  Made the double-mistake of telling my @nickcarpenter.bsky.social that — for that naughty elf has just done this!  *shakes hairy fist* Regards Your Baubles

I've written a big piece for the Observer about the Big C. Would be lovely if you find time to read it sometime and feel free to share. observer.co.uk/news/opinion...

Good morning to Brazilian reporter Manuela Borges, who’s been waiting eleven years for this petty moment. ❤️ 🇧🇷

NN, losers. X

The first 3 words you see will define your 2026. Crabs Butter Pizza It’s 2016 all over again!