They should put a monkey on the £50 note and a pony on the £10 note to confuse the hell out cockneys.

I still think about this a lot.

“Mr President, the bombings have begun in Tehran and also customers are complaining we have run out of shrimp at the pool buffet.”

"...and there's been another arrest for misconduct in public office but for who Chris Kamara?"

😂🇺🇸😂🇺🇸😂🇺🇸 If you know, you know.

Some of these redactions are almost like modern art

Having insomnia and asking different AIs to explain it, telling each AI what the other said and having them make bitchy comments about each other’s diagnosis is curiously satisfying.

"27, Plymouth Argyle" "Will play" "13, Crewe Alexandra" "That concludes the draw for the third round of the Sherpa Van Trophy. Ties will be played on the 17th and 18th of October"

Imagine the message it would send if Gary Lineker won 'Presenter of the Year' at this year's National Television Awards Standing up for compassion & the right to speak out And, the feathers it would ruffle My lovely followers, you know what to do: nationaltvawards.com/vote 🗓️ Deadline: 12th Sep

LATEST: An elderly man appears to have broken onto the roof of a DC building and is gesticulating and shouting at people below.

Found it.

"I am speaking from BBC TV centre in London. The King is safe, and the cabinet are in custody. My tank is outside and is about to take me do Downing Street. Please remain calm."

“It was the average of times.”

There’s been another Tweet Chris! But from who?

‘You boy! Which one’s accused the other of being the worst businessman?’

Night of the Long Tweets.

"The regime is experiencing Rapid Unscheduled Disassembly"

What is happening.

“Terrible things are happening outside. Poor helpless people are being dragged out of their homes. Families are torn apart. Men, women, and children are separated. Children come home from school to find that their parents have disappeared.” Diary of Anne Frank January 13, 1943

THIS IS WHAT A TRADE WAR LOOKS LIKE -

We take tariffs on our beautiful Heard Island very seriously. We will be consulting all mammals and flightless birds and will make an announcement in the near future detailing our response. #heardisland #tariff #mcdonaldisland #trumptariff

Thank you to whoever made this

‘I once imposed tariffs on an island only populated by penguins’

The penguins have come for you, Wall Street.

The penguins on the Heard and McDonald Islands announce they are putting 30% tariffs on US goods.

Elon’s Downfall

Powering through 100 followers 🎉

fair play, that’s a decent signing.

because of pregnancy, the average number of skeletons in the human body is greater than 1

Oh, hello 👋🏻

"Multi-millionaire landowners to the south-west, Sir. Thousands of 'em."

“Apply for the UK to join the European Union as a full member as soon as possible” - Please sign the petition, rejoining won’t happen any time soon but the growing numbers of us who realise that Brexit was a massive mistake must not be silent. petition.parliament.uk/petitions/70...