Thank you all for your concern, and yes, PM Tuxley II has been moved to a safe location with cell geolocation disabled. He can be marked as “safe from American kidnappers” on social media. Thank you for your inattention to this matter!

You know what doesn’t cause wars? Women and renewable energy.

We actually made our first meme. Of 2026.

But the Man in the High Castle was such a good flick..

We have seen this move before. Correspondent @ronanfarrow.bsky.social was suppressed by @nbcnews.com . It won’t end any better for @cbsnews.com than it did for NBC

This should have have been the end, in 2016.

Sure seems likes there’s a definite client list available!!! @cnn.com @nbcnews.com @reuters.com @theguardian.com

ChatGPT “police incident reports usually include officer name, badge ID number, even in redacted reports. This file is not typical and suggests intentional suppression of identifiers beyond normal victim protection”

Literally the first two files we opened

Somewhere in a secret underwater base, Billy the Kid and JFK are currently playing a round of mini-golf.

New screensaver loading…

Well we weren’t far off, the checks were for every “fightin’ Yankee”. Which should make it even harden for anyone to try to recoup illegal tariff funds.

We predict: POTUS address tomorrow will include announcements of “Tariff checks” for every Yankee. Since the Supreme Court may soon rule those funds illegally sourced, the most unethical, ie, most likely outcome is for WH to preemptively launder it away (and bury Epstein news amidst other things).

Not that we have any reason to think POTUS is a good person, nor do we read vanity fair while squatting on the ice pot, but if they think a breaking story will get anyone past their subscription paywall… sigheth

We are announcing that a prominent Gentoo Penguin named Fentaflooper, will hereby be declared a WMS or, Weapon of Mass Seduction. We will use any and all means to stop his further seduction of our citizens.

We are aware of intelligence reports suggesting that a certain iceberg off our coast is being eyed by the Trump regime, after they pirated a Venezuelan oil tanker. We are resolute in our defense of icebergs and any attempt to “grab” it will result in swift destruction. -PM Tuxley II

The Fifans have a larger export business than us. And they are know for large stone statues of Mr. Trump , buried upside down in the earth.

Well, another year where our Island soccer team did not get chosen to play in FIFA. On the bright side, we didn’t have to attend or flap our wings for the participation trophies given out. Time to prepare for Eurovision selection.

POLL TIME: what is your all time favorite bird? (Can be flightless as well, ahem). Bonus points if you say why you love them.

Even commenters on Fox News are losing their minds over this, which is surprising. If congressional Dems aren’t a total mess, they need to ask about this in between Epstein coverage and not let it go.

The same MAGA that told us that Mark Kelly was politicizing the military with his video, are now the same people that are cheering for 500 troops to go to DC as a political statement by POTUS

Two Guard members were shot and this lunatic is bragging about his fake approval ratings from his golf course

Two members of the National Guard have been shot outside the White House. Surely the White House will call for unity and not assign blame prematurely.

So far SecDef has followed through on his promise to make the most transparent organization to date. So far we have been sent attack plans on signal, and now we get negotiation transcripts with hostile nations. Keep it up!

We have a lot in common with the United States right now. We also don’t have a GDP, employment or inflation report to share. Our GDP gross domestic poop (guano) is usually tracked, but our Government shut down for Macaroni Breeding season..a real freak off (bottles of sperm whale oil everywhere)

“Walks to the only laptop on the island, turns it on and….thats enough outside world for today..”

PROOF THAT SHORT KINGS HAVE THE BREEDING ADVANTAGE

Bluesky users are given 23k pages of Epstein documents and can’t help but focus on the literary and grammatical deficits of an international trafficker. Apparently paywalls to liberal news sites aren’t the only thing Dems need to grapple…they’ll need to overcome standards of grammatical prowess

Excellent article. Humans are odd, but they really shine when they examine their existence in relation to others, especially in the slow moments that seem so old fashioned.

As the Canadian skiers say, ya gotta earn yer terns

We read this once, twice.. thrice. Not being American, we can’t be particular upset by the Hatch Act. What’s upsetting, is that they seem oblivious to their own hatred. Why would “mothers, babies, and the most vulnerable among us” be divorced from “illegal aliens” a mere two lines above it? 1/3

Narrator: “That process will not begin immediately however, as the Trump admin furloughed 80% of the National Nuclear Security Administration federal workforce, the same workforce that preps for nuclear testing.”

🐧🐧🐧🌊🌊

RIP to our Aussie cousins

Looks like Earth may need @markhamillofficial.bsky.social to pay a visit

HOLDFAST!

Agents snatching up a young protester off the floe today. Resist! Flippers up!

Eventually (maybe many years from now) the world will find out that Russia owned Trump related Epstein evidence. Thousands more Ukrainians will die as a result of a corrupt old pedophile, and a small paranoid Russian man. And the relatively spineless global community.

First they tariff us Penguins. Then they pepper spray Frogtifa. Whats stopping them From torturing teddy bears next?!! Support Frogtifa!

Okay if we give POTUS our nicest iceberg for free, will he build us a Training Base in Florida? We need a place to train jungle warfare operatives

Kristi Noem can use our bathroom facilities anytime she likes. We have an open stall, just up the ridge line, take a left into the volcano.

What is happening over there??

PRESS STATEMENT: Simply unacceptable behavior by the UN, stopping this escalator while PM Tuxley II stepped onto it aside his wife, Lady Beakatrice. We will tariff & fire anyone who dares suggest these ramps never move, and we will SUE the lunatics who almost broke Lady B’s angelic features.

While we support the freedom to use TikTok, we don’t feel USA will use data any more responsibly than China. Therefore, we are giving traveling Terns and Skuas complimentary access to ICE-Blok, our new dual feature social media and anti-Gestapo app.

We firmly believe firing comedians is not a sign of a healthy democracy. In some countries, they even elect them to defend against ambitious fascists. — PM Tuxley II

Oh but he already has.

We get it now! USA is playing a kind of “Opposite Day” this week to confuse its opponents. ie: Kirk was a champion of free speech and anyone who badmouths him will be fired. The frivolous lawsuits and weaponization of the fbi still needs to stop, right after we sue NYT and raid Chicago, et al

Sorry we have been off the grid lately, been searching for food. It seems the US is renaming things to the US Supremicist Court and the Department of War? Interesting developments, we will keep an eye on how this impacts us.

On official Government business abroad, and we were pleased to see that @hiltonhonors.bsky.social saves a special place for insects such as this Carolina Mantis