In their secret lair at Barnard Castle.

Greenland: the polar bears speak out.

"We've crawled into Musk's sphincter by mistake"

Elon Musk popping over to Reform HQ

If you're not on the other place you'll be amused to hear that something has just blown up faster than a cybertruck battery.

This remains, and I say this advisedly, one of the best exchanges I have ever seen on social media

Great choice, he has friends in common with Trump

"What do you mean, a sandwich? Give me a steak now or I'll smack you in the face."

Have been laughing at this - originally posted by someone on Twitter - whenever I think of it for a day now. I mean, where do you start?

Accurate.

"People keep getting ill from the milk the government don't want you to drink. Are they poisoning it? Makes you think."

Next week, Kemi answers the question: Is a burger classed as a sandwich or meat?

He stees you when you're stleeping.

Waking up with a hangover in your 20s vs Waking up with a hangover in your 40s

"I didn't get where I am today by eating sandwiches. Only a rare steak for lunch will do for me."

Alexa define far right hypocrisy

Beheaders and Volleys

Where's the obligatory seasonal disappointing winter wonderland story?

Even team Trump have worked the grifter out.

"The Bellends! The Bellends!"

John Torode's defence is his powers of observation can be lacking.

Nor is this one

Me discussing the Elgin Marbles with a patriot.

So it turns out they spent £715 million on sending a grand total of FOUR volunteers to Rwanda. For comparison, this is more than you could expect to spend on building an entire brand new hospital in the UK

"Nobody expects the middle-class women of a certain age"

"Nobody expects the middle-class women of a certain age"

The fact that Elon Musk wanted to give Nigel Farage and Reform UK $100m but couldn't because it was illegal should be the death of Reform, who supposedly are all about sovereignty and the 'working' man. But it won't be because they are all stupid.

Identity of Greg Wallace's PR advisor revealed.

Two middle class women of a certain age are talking. Woman 1: What exercise is Greg(g) Wallace doing? Woman 2: I think it’s called a plank Woman 1: Oh sorry, you’re right! What exercise is that plank doing?

Front of the Back of the Xmas tree Xmas tree

"Middle-class women of a certain age to the south-west, Sir. A handful of 'em."

Greg Wallaces lawyers

Greg Wallace repairing his image.

Greg Wallace set to host Masterchef Australia, as he only has a few hundred feet left to dig to get to the studio.

New Rees-Mogg reality show aims to dispel a few misconceptions

🚨BREAKING🚨 Bear Grylls has been deployed to the Thames to baptise Gregg Wallace

You'd never have had all this bother if Loyd Grossman was still presenting.

"We've found a middle-class woman of a certain age. May we behave inappropriately towards her?"

"I just couldn't resist the buttery biscuit base."

But hang on, I hear (some of) you say... what about small boats? They're the main thing most politicians talk about after all... So how DO small boat arrivals compare with legal migration? Here's your answer in a chart 👇

What's all the fuss about with Wicked?