Well that was fucking stressful. Thank you God for the Irish.

Are the BBC afraid of getting sued or something? If you are in charge of football ultras group, that isn’t what you do.

The fecking Mormons are at it again.

What? No. I live in London.

There should be an app that tells you where the toilets are in a pub you’ve never been before.

There’s some nutter on Victoria Street preaching about The Rapture. Mate, I think you missed that fucking boat.

How many coffees did this guy buy at Cafe Nero to smoke all these?

Goodbye Claudia.

I just missed the bus to work, it was early for once. Get on the next one, only to see the one I missed at the next stop with a car rammed into its behind.

I bet she was. I had a similar reaction to the works of Dan Brown.

A very happy corporate lawyer.

Perfect.

I have just told a barmaid in my local what the minimum wage is in America for bar staff. She was not impressed. (We were talking about what we love in the M&S food section, and laughing about how we can’t afford it all.)

I think main problem with Arteta is that he spent to long watching what David Moyes did at Everton. The difference is that Moyes had to do it because he didn’t have the money to take on championship chasing teams head on, so had to play defensive. He still thinks that way.

Watching the build up to Arsenal v City and Roy Keane is on. We haven’t got any sound in the pub, but Roy Keane already looks disappointed. I think that’s why he’s popular, fans know how he’s feeling.

Just reading about the assassination of Orlando Letelier, former Chilean ambassador and all round pain in the arse to Pinochet when he lived in America. The FBI had written a communique to Pinochet warning him against this sort of thing on US soil, but it was blocked. Who blocked it? You may ask.

Sometimes, they just write themselves.

Just looking at the list of people who attended the Queen’s funeral, and Andorra is well represented. As well as their two Crown Prince’s (one of them being Emmanuel Macron, admittedly) their ambassador to the UK was also there. Big show from the mountain folk.

Just reading up on Aum Shinrikyo cult, most famous for the Tokyo Subway Sarin Attack. Their leader believed his plans were being thwarted by the usual suspects, The Jews, Freemasons, The Royal Family, and…The Dutch.

This is in America, so I’ll give you one guess who it’s about.

I think Badenoch is safe as Tory leader for the moment. I will be so bold to say that this latest defection actually strengthens her position, as by this time next year she might be the only Conservative MP in the country.

I am dealing with a guy at work who definitely had this for breakfast.

At least they got Adam Ant on the bottle, shame he wasn’t in his Dandy Highwayman phase.

Up above the streets and houses.

I’d trust Drachinifel and Lord Hardthrasher to find the culprit quicker than American plod.

Cocaine. (Booze actually. She kicked a cop too.)

Me talking about Charlie Kirk.

I wonder when he was dying he still thought this.

Has Mike Johnson said it was suicide yet?

I was just thinking about Star Trek TNG episode Galaxy’s Child. LaForge gets the ship’s computer to produce a facsimile of Dr Leah Brahms on the holodeck for plot reasons, she starts off all professional, but gets more flirty as the episode goes on. 1994 this aired. They knew folks. They knew.

I am starting to think that the Good Friday Agreement was the worst thing that ever happened to the Irish Football Team. It basically allowed the kids of Irish parents to play for England. Rooney, Grealish, Rice. There’s a lot of talent there.

My local should make an official complaint to the FAI. If you are going to be this shit, you are affecting businesses not only in your own country but abroad too. Maybe Anglo-Irish Taverners can sue them for lose-of-revenue.

First one in, what, nine years?

It’s half time in England v Andorra, and I didn’t even know we had scored. I must have been at the bar, but absolutely no one cheered, and nothing in the two teams approach has changed either.

Who was Trump’s partner? OJ Simpson.

Martina, in the library, with a tactical nuke.

1947.

The work-life balance.

There’s a woman sat in front of me on the bus who has been having a 40 minute domestic on the phone. He’s an idiot, she’s a sociopath. They were made for each other.

“This is the most drunken performance I have ever seen, and I’ve watched twenty two Jean Michael Vincent movies.” -Rob Hill.

People’s Front Of Judea shit.

People are saying Trump may be dead. I mean, I just got given this photo by the cops.

I have a job in Sloane Street to do, so I’m checking what time they open, and Google obviously thinks I’d rather travel 400 miles to Newcastle instead.

Nic Cage has been utter shite for decades.

Ruben Amorim, “I’ll make ya famous.”

I have just seen my nephew put mayonnaise on his M&S hot dog. I don’t think I can recover.

According to the TFL website, this is good service.

Good luck police keeping a straight face interviewing these nutters.