Really hoping to get through the next four days without having to talk to a bunch of random people.

Before sports betting was legalized everywhere, I was neutral about it, thinking that it was a personal choice. Now that it exists everywhere I have been radicalized against it like a 19th century suffragette

This is going to be a major problem for me.

Everything, Everything My sister picked it for a family movie outing. She is not allowed to choose movies anymore.

My favorite part of Odysseus was when he told Calypso he had to go see about a girl.

It's actually your bank account login followed by your social security number.

Yup … technology is not all it’s cracked up to be … #cdnpoli

Steve Byezerman

The real Yzerplan was the friends we made along the way.

It's 90 degrees I feel like I'm in hell I'm sweating everywhere And it's making me smell #poetry

The Amazing World of Tomorrow

My family is way more critical of my work than the editing team I work with, so that's fun.

Happy 5th anniversary to my favorite-ever, most relatable professional baseball quote: “if you always feel miserable, it offers a sort of consistency.” @jrfegan.soxmachine.com

Can the algorithm predict that my response to something like this will be to cancel the service purely out of spite?

Deeply saddened to learn of the loss of my dear friend Satan, the Prince of Lies. Though we often disagreed about matters such as the appropriate role of torture in the afterlife, I will most remember how his quick wit and affable nature made our weekly golf outings a ritual. He will be missed.

Mainstream Respectable opinion is that people joking about a bad person's death represents a culture of cruelty, but really it represents a culture of impunity. It's a coping mechanism for watching someone do evil their whole life and never seeing consequences

When a politician dies we see a lot of hagiographies about them. If you mention they were a terrible person IRL, you get chastised. My feeling? If you don't want people to talk shit about you after you die, don't be shitty when you're alive.

I want my onions with a side of hot dog. And a little mustard.

Maps are easy if you have common sense. My phone broke in Alberta two years ago and none of the tech stores where I was staying had a phone I could buy without enrolling in a Canadian plan. I bought a road atlas instead and navigated all the way back to Indiana with it. It was easy and fun.

Horrible new bullshit from the sea every time. It’s never ‘oh we found a new pink fish that is so happy’ it’s always stuff like this, the crush-depth screw-headed dongwongler, and it’s got to have big long creepy bits. Sick of the ocean tbh.

Inevitably, every band or musician I like writes a dumb song about weed. You guys should definitely write more songs about girls named Mary Jane or being Colorado high. Real original and creative.

I will vote for any politician that runs on putting Mr. Beast in jail.

We could have this all the time, routinely, but in the end we always prioritize cars.

Give me the endurance of Chistoph Strasser

Whatever. US is a hockey country anyway.

Happy birthday to Bill Watterson, the creator of Calvin and Hobbes! Born on July 5, 1958.

July 4: When white folks just have to play the Dumb Asshole National Anthem (Toby Keith) at full volume.

I actually don’t care what the founding fathers would say about the present and I don’t think you should either

This is exactly how every pedestrian should react to impatient drivers.

Hiding inside during a heatwave.

John Kruk interviewing a woman who’s been to the fucking moon: “So to be serious for a second… tell me more about this rice pudding.”

kruk asking an actual astronaut "y'all have beer up there" is the apotheosis of Phillies broadcasts

"But it all goes to the syndicate. And everybody has a share!"

Why can't we have summer-length daylight with temperatures from any other season? I can't believe people like this shit.

so the courts are trying to ruin the lives of trans folks, people born here, and everyone who doesn't want people with automatic rifles just walking in public with them. all just today. also its 100 degrees everywhere.

Welcome to the Great American State Fair

It is virtually impossible to find a good birthday card for an adult woman that isn't wino-themed.

Illegal gambling sites. Illegal cab companies. Illegal hotels. Crypto for criminals. “Full Self-Driving.” The wholesale theft of billions of copyrighted works for AI. Surveillance capitalism. Automated price-fixing. Election rigging via media manipulation. Big Tech is organized crime.

Me when there's a cool bird.

Retweet if you agree!

They'll make the playoffs before the Red Wings do.

noticing a lot of people forgot what our greatest modern philosopher said about patriotism

The social media stories of World Cup visitors being astounded by Buc-ee's and Taco Bell are some of the greatest unintentional roasts of American culture I have ever seen.

Update: they're real.

Tire tubes are big donuts. The government doesn't want you to know. WAKE UP

I’ve been thinking a lot about the shifting baseline concept as applied to everyday life. People in their 20’s now have no memory of highly functional systems, products (from blenders to sweaters) that were so well made you could hand them down across generations, or even helpful customer service.

Western Michigan men's hockey legend Brandon Bussi getting his moment in the sun