listen. when dolly parton’s sister says it’s time for us all to be prayer warriors for dolly. you fucking pray for dolly

Now I’m falling asleep and she’s calling a cob

Wait, so now athletes have to wait until a new coach is HIRED before they can enter the portal? Previously, it was immediately after the previous coach was fired.

Banned Books - Gator Days

Travis Kelce Gets Cold Feet After Listening To New Taylor Swift Album https://theonion.com/travis-kelce-gets-cold-feet-after-listening-to-new-taylor-swift-album/

Dickhead In Sanchez Jersey Turns Out To Be Mark Sanchez

my husband just told me that "a cat is just a more socially acceptable racoon"

Get really disciplined, help your neighbors, allow yourself to let go of the people that harm you

"This fall, Agent Dirk Saint Hightower must strike a pose. It could be his last. Dress You Up in My Death. Coming to a theater near you. Fashion slays. But so do they..." www.youtube.com/watch?v=SOhJ...

I saw a post the other day that said something to the effect of ICE is a job guarantee program for racists and domestic abusers and they weren't wrong

Precisely.

"We're going to create superintelligence" How about making outlook search work first. How about that

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ @realgdt.bsky.social #Frankenstein

"You are a sad, strange little man and you have my pity..." One year ago today I posted this miniature Toy Story photo I created using real figures, lighting and miniature sets. #toystory #photography #miniatures

One year ago today I posted this miniature Nightmare Before Christmas scene I created using real figures, lighting and miniature sets. I handmade the spider snowflake, was quite a task at such a small size #jackskellington #photography #nbx #movies #miniatures

Lucky Fan Wins Open-Heart Surgery From Stars Of ‘The Pitt’ https://theonion.com/lucky-fan-wins-open-heart-surgery-from-stars-of-the-pitt/

OpenAI Introduces Parental Controls https://theonion.com/openai-introduces-parental-controls/

Old Man's Son Also Old Man

"I didn't expect to see you here..." - "Well, it's me, and I'm here, so get over it and move on!" All shot using real lighting, figures and miniatures. The glow on Patriot and Iron man's eyes and chestplate I digitally illustrated in. #ironman #photography #comicbook #miniatures

this is peak athletic performance

I made chicken with an Old Bay marinade yesterday in order to bless the Orioles so that they destroy the Yankees today.

Joe Davis: "By the way, I'm pretty sure [Vikings guard Will Fries] has to become Chips while we're in Ireland." 🏈🍟🎙️🇮🇪 #NFL

Incredible ending.

# of paragraphs for news orgs to mention there's no discernable need to deploy troops to Portland, Oregon The Guardian: 1st paragraph BBC: 4th paragraph AP: 5th paragraph Time: 6th paragraph Politico: 8th paragraph NPR: 9th paragraph CNN: 10th paragraph NBC: 12th paragraph Fox News: never mentions

CONFERENCES: Please do not rush the field, we will fine each school where this happens CONFERENCE TV PARTNERS:

they rushed the field like the fast zombies from world war Z. i am shook

I’m pretty sure there’s gonna be a dozen or so UVA students who just live on the field now, it is there home and where they feel safest and warmest

UVA stops FSU's last pass and absolute bedlam ensues, don't miss the fan flipping Castellanos the bird and recording it on his phone

Y'all made the scamming unc mayor of New York!

Eric Adams is the scamming uncle who always tries to get your dad to "invest" in some nonsense on Thanksgiving.

WHY IS HE LIKE THIS?

Same

When I saw it real time it was the closest I’ve ever felt to an NFL official

Let’s not focus TOO much on the SEXY BONDAGE SPIDER-MAN 👀 (and whether or not this image breaks the new BlueSky ToS…) #ComicSky #Marvel #SpiderMan #ComicPressing