Obsessed with the fact that I just got to the Shift Notes where Joe confirmed this was absolutely the reason for the name. Rare big brain moment for me.

Trying to write a fun little smutfic and then suddenly I'm 5,000 words in and one of the participants is still fully clothed. 😭This was supposed to take a couple days to write, not a couple weeks.

You can just tell him no! Practically everybody hates him!

Today is the midpoint of Scarleteen’s $40,000 fund drive to cover the health care costs of the staff and volunteers providing advice, tips, and tools for young people worldwide. 128 people have donated over $8,000 to support our work. Join them today! www.classy.org/campaign/scarl...

If you get to a trillion dollars you should have to start the game over from the beginning at a higher difficulty like your parents not owning a bunch of emerald mines or whatever idk that’s just a random example

Tomorrow I may be taking Christmas photos of my best friend and his tortoise. Photos dependent on us finding a small Santa hat for the tortoise because I had a silly idea for a Christmas card. 🎅

NGL folks. Moving even just one of these originals would really make a difference for my husband & I with our continually piling up medical bills.🥲 Plz help spread the word, if you can. Even just re-sharing is powerful for small artists like me.🙏

The Founders were so concerned about bribery that the Constitution forbids it three separate times. Two emoluments clauses ban officials—unambiguously including the president—from accepting things of value, plus bribery is the only named impeachable offense besides treason. Unprecedentedly corrupt.

Hey, hey everyone. A play I’m directing, producing AND starring in is on sale! In Salford next June!

THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!! The production of TWELTH NIGHT with Lupita Nyong’o, Junior Nyong’o, Peter Dinklage, Sandra Oh, Jesse Tyler Ferguson, and Daphne Rubin-Vega is now on the PBS app!!!! www.pbs.org/wnet/gperf/t...

For anyone else apparently playing Pokemon with emotional trauma (gotta catch 'em all!) while listening to #MidnightBurger, I made us a treat. (Disclaimer: loyalty card is unaffiliated with @midnightburger.bsky.social and/or Business Goose Media and does not entitle holder to free food/coffee. 😂)

I can't believe I literally told a friend last night that I didn't think The Hero would make me cry because, and I quote, "Joe owes up some happiness." I was clearly foolish. 😭 Relistening this morning and crying all over again, so thanks, @midnightburger.bsky.social (genuine thanks, this is art.)

Hi everyone, I'm an independent merch artist and doing merch is my fulltime job! Having to move platforms has made a significant impact on my reach and sales, so if you see this, I'd really appreciate signal boosts! If you've supported me in the past thank you SO MUCH!💜💜💜 SHOP: steelwithteeth.com

'Matt Gaetz Raped A Homeless Teenager' is what you mean. A teenager with a homeless parent? What? The fuck? Did she have a home and not allow her parent to live in it? Ended up having sex with? What? Yeah clearly you guys been caping for pedos long enough and you understand the assignment here

I'm catching up on Shift Notes and as soon as Finlay mentioned Kerbey Lane, I knew she was gonna say gingerbread pancakes. Those (and the lemon ones in the summer) are top tier pancakes. @midnightburger.bsky.social #MidnightBurger

Thomas Massie to CNN on the Epstein files: "This vote is gonna be on your record for longer than Trump is gonna be president. And what are you gonna do in 2028 and 2030 when you're in a debate … and they say, 'How can we trust you? You covered up for a pedophile back in 2025.'"

Currently considering how Låfftrax has a laugh track. Which, you know, looks pretty similar. #MidnightBurger

I'd love a scientist to explain why I can listen to podcasts for hours a day but I struggle with audiobooks.

I got the paperwork to sign for my settlement today and the wording where I need to sign has been amusing me all day.

I've gotta find a way to stop being so good at my job because what do you mean my "fun, casual job" now has me training all new hires and also serving as acting supervisor while mine's out on medical leave. I've only worked here a year. I'm exhausted.

Watching a video of two guys listening to Reputation by Taylor Swift and they just got to the chorus of Dress for the first time. One said, "I think she's ovulating" and honestly, they get it.

WE LOVE TO SEE IT. STILL FEED YOUR NEIGHBORS THOUGH.

My case is settled. For more than we were hoping for. It's been nearly two years since I woke up in an ambulance, but at least the hard work is finally over.

Nothing like a morning text from the specialist vet about sending a quote for fungal testing to really ruin your morning. Because what I really want to do at 8am is reply that the cat they want to test crossed the Rainbow Bridge days ago. 😭 I miss him so, so much.

Very tempted to add "Libuza pondering her Orb" to my list of incredibly niche cosplay ideas. #MidnightBurger

The 400 richest Americans are now worth a record $6.6 trillion. The entire bottom 50% of America is worth just $4.2 trillion. Read that back. When 400 people control more wealth than half a country’s population, we have a very serious problem.

Is anyone else having problems logging into @ellipsus.com today? First I logged in and none of my works were there, so I logged out and tried again but now it just says "something went wrong" when I enter the emailed log-in code.

Chris is a terrific human. Help Chris out by donating and/or reposting!

SEVEN HOURS TO GO

The world's 10 richest people (nearly all from the U.S.) are collectively $500 billion richer this year thanks to growth in stocks tied to AI. Meanwhile, data centers are sucking up communities’ water and electricity. AI is making the rich even richer while everyone else pays the price.

I miss Crawford so badly I keep feeling like I'm going to throw up. I'm so thankful for the friend who came with us to his appointment for taking a few photos while I said goodbye before, during, and after he went to sleep. 😭 The apartment is cold and empty without him here. I keep looking for him.

10 years ago today, the first episode of The Bright Sessions came out. Today, Joan Bright catches up with an old friend. open.spotify.com/episode/5vqU...

Having the worst day of my life and then being surprised not only by a live Welcome to the Horizon drop, but also hearing my name in the end list AND Joe saying it correctly when even people who've known me for years mess up? Yeah, there's one positive. Thanks, @midnightburger.bsky.social 💕

It does feel oddly fitting, though, that Crawford was diagnosed with anemia and masses on his lungs on October 13 and passed away peacefully on Halloween. 😭

I had to say goodbye to my soul cat this afternoon after a mystery illness took away his quality of life faster than we knew. I've been crying for nearly 24 hours and have just been playing the @midnightburger.bsky.social bloopers on repeat to get through it all. Not a joke, that's how I'm coping.

You may not have food or healthcare for your children, but did you know that the White House will now have a classy dance floor for nepotistic pedophiles

You'll pry these Oxford commas out of my cold, dead, third thing hands

Early voting in the NYC mayoral election begins TODAY. If you're a New Yorker, I urge you to vote for Zohran Mamdani — the only candidate who will stand up to the oligarchy and fight for working people. Listen to his inspiring words from primary night.

Nothing like the federal government shutting down help for student loans and now I'm supposed to pay $385 monthly when I can't even afford rent, food, and my electric bill each month. All while working 30+ hours a week at $19/hour. They really want us dead.

Now that Chapter 45 has been out for a bit, it feels like I'm allowed to say that the use of the Welcome to the Horizon music had me fighting back a scream. Also, we don't talk enough about how good all the music in @midnightburger.bsky.social is. Everything's 10/10.

HELL YEAH. GET IT, FIONA. #MidnightBurger

Justice Brett Kavanaugh: “If the officers learn that the individual they stopped is a U.S. citizen...they promptly let the individual go." The reality: Americans have been dragged, tackled, beaten, tased and shot by immigration agents. A must read from the very talented @nicolefoy.bsky.social:

I got my first call back from an oncologist for Crawford and was told the initial consultation alone would cost $230. The vet advised that they would likely also need to perform a CT scan and a biopsy in order to diagnose, to say nothing of treatment costs. gofund.me/1aaed1508 Please share! 💞

I've been crying for an hour. I always joked that it was a good thing my pets were immortal, but I'm truly breaking down over the reminder that it's not true.

Promoting the editor-in-chief's personal side project. Zero named sources in a story that promotes the editor-in-chief's personal political position. Misspelling the subject's name. It took one day for CBS News to become a conservative blog. www.cbsnews.com/video/some-n...

Crawford went into the vet this morning because his appetite disappeared a few days ago. His blood work showed he's anemic but without a cause. They're currently doing imaging to check for internal bleeds but it could be cancer. If you want to pitch in towards the $700 bill, Venmo @LitaMedinger 💕

the city of los angeles burned in january in part because of a man who couldn’t stop generating images of burning cities on ChatGPT, and then after he lit the fire he asked if the fire he started was his fault

twice a year the entire U.S. press becomes a marketing extension of a single billionaire-owned retailer, and nobody in any position of editorial power thinks it's weird or gross

This summer on our Patreon, I did a series of lectures about everything I've learned in the past five years doing Midnight Burger. It was weird to do it, but it was nice to put it all together into one big piece. You can listen to the first episode of it for free on our public feed right now. 👇

Survived a 12.5-hour workday yesterday. Today I'm only working for four hours, and then tomorrow is finally a day off. I've never needed a day off so badly.