You Only Feel So Bad Because Your Body’s Intimidated By How Well You Are

Experts Confirm That Talking About Long Covid Really Negs The Vibes, Alan

Large Increase In Numbers Of People Diagnosed With Something That Totally Wasn’t Caused By That Thing

Public Health To Drop ‘Health’ And ‘Public’

“Do You Have Any Mild Evidence?” Says Man On Television

Catching An Infection While You’re Waiting For Treatment For Another Health Problem Probably Good For You, Say Hospitals

It’s Bring Your Infectious Disease To School Month

Public Health Officials Say Cough Like Dracula. But Not Biting. NO. NO BITING. STOP. STOOO

Bold Claims Need Strong Evidence. No, Not That Evidence.

New Cutting-Edge Scans Able To Show Whether You’re Battling Long-Term Effects Of Covid Infection Or A Legion Of Demons

No, You Have Lion Covid

Doctors Thrilled You’re Post-Covid, Recommend Rest, Flu, And Some More Covid

Why Catching Covid Endlessly Is Better Than Not Catching It Enough, And Two Other Things We Tell Ourselves To Feel Better When We’re Sick Yet Again

Six Reasons Doctors Think It’s Hilarious That You Are Worried About Covid.

It’s Umbrella Users Who Are Causing All This Rain. It’s Time To Ban Them Once And For All.

Active Shelter Reported On Campus

You’re Not More Sick Than You Used To Be. You’re Healthy And Well And Your Memory Is Great.

American Millennials Are Dying At An Alarming Rate, But It’s Only Alarming If You Know About It, And Anyway It’s Totally Not Caused By Covid Infections

It’s Time To Introduce Adequate Ventilation, UV and Filtration To Remove Any Germs That Could Cause Illness. In Homes For Lost Cats.

Sunscreen Does Not Work, Says Study That Made Participants Drink It

Air Filtration Doesn’t Work To Prevent Illness Says Study Done By People Who Didn’t Switch The Air Filters On Properly

Six Celebrities Who Totally Don’t Have Long Covid

Maybe It’s A Good Thing That Covid Infection While Pregnant Can Cause Developmental Delay In Toddlers When The World Is Moving So Fast

Let’s Beat Climate Change The Same Way We Beat Covid

FAFO Principle Fails As A Personal Learning Tool When The Finding Out Is Fatal, Says Study

Razor Blade Throat Not As Bad As It Sounds, Says Spokesperson For Virus

Why Are So Many Children Getting Long Covid? What Could Possibly Have Caused This? Lockdowns? Vaccines? Gluten? Screentime? Anxiety? Fortnite? Face Masks? What?

People Still Baffled By Mysterious Condition ‘Long Covid’ That Suddenly Appeared A Few Years Ago Out Of Nowhere.

This Asteroid Variant No More Likely To Cause Extinction Than Previous Asteroid Variants, Say Experts

June Syndrome Surges Strange How School Makes Kids Dizzy Experts Blame Something

Covid Is Surging, So Remember To Protect That Important Bit Of Your Neck Just Under Your Chin.

Deaths Caused By New Covid Variant No More Severe Than Deaths Caused By Earlier Variants Say Scientators

Sick Kids Are Actually Healthier Than Healthy Kids, Says Study Made Up By AI

“Everything Is Fine” Say People

40% Of Olympians Experienced Being Not Olympians Immediately After That Mild Cough Thing, Says Study

Thousands Of Covid Deaths Each Week Are Now Milder Deaths, Say Doctors.

Heart Attacks Among Young People Rising To “Alarming Levels”, Say Doctors, But Vibes.

Studies Show That It’s Actually Impossible To Say That Word. You Know. That Thing That People Get.

BREAKING: Scientists Confirm That Unprecedented Spring Epidemic Is 'Some Bug That’s Going Round’.

Trump To Introduce Immunity Tariffs To Pay Off Immunity Deficits Or Something

What Is The Secret Behind People Who Don’t Get Sick And Don’t Say Respirators And Don’t Say Don’t Catch Covid Again.

Seven Reasons Why It’s Good To Let Your Kids Die Of A Preventable Disease.

Should You Worry About Your Brain Damage? Of Course Not, It’s All In Your Head.

Should You Worry About Your Brain Damage

Bacterial Sector Surges Amid Post-Viral Deregulation of Immune Surveillance

Diet Rich In Word Salad Can Help Avoid Cognitive Engagement With Problem Of Long Covid, Say Scientators

Only Sick People Got Sick Says Man Whose Brain Was Eaten By Worm

Why Do Covid Conscious People Still Try To Stay Well And Healthy Despite All The Evidence That Their Actions Work?

Well done to everyone who spotted our April Fool News Story yesterday! Was it a bit too obvious?

Yes, Tuberculosis Is Highly Contagious By Airborne Transmission, But Can You Catch It By Connecting Your Mouth Straight To Someone Else’s While Breathing In And Out? What About If You Don’t Even Use Any Tongue?