I’ve come around on this and think every new president should just add their own bullshit to the WH campus. 2028 hockey rink and a water slide. 2032 south lawn gokart track and buy the Sinclair dinosaur. Make the treasury mint the giant penny from the batcave

/host introducing the musical guest for their second song on SNL voice

It doesn’t solve anything and it definitely doesn’t change anything but it is kind of nice to know that he knows that his big macho honk honk birthday parade sucked

financial advice in a weird time: -- develop a plan -- find friends who support you -- preferably 10 of them -- steal $160 million from the Bellagio, the Mirage, and the MGM Grand -- yes those are Terry Benedict's casinos -- get your wife back -- one of the friends should be Don Cheadle btw simple

Orson Welles and Baha Blast Voice by @ganglemanva.bsky.social

What 2025 feels like

As a 30-something, Space Ghost C2C was such a big part of my early teen years. When news of George’s passing hit today I had more friends texting each other about that than A LOT of other celebrity deaths. He and Andy and everyone else from the show are Adult Swim royalty.

President Dealman forfeiting a trade war in 24 hours to the syrup people.

Steve with extreme selling out action! Says twelve cool phrases like "how much do they want to pay me" and "Sorry Kyle it really isn't my choice man they're talking about casting me in the live action The Rescuers reboot I gotta worry about optics."

Who hasn’t been innocently hanging out at the inauguration of a man dubbed by people in his own party as the next Hitler and accidentally performed a Nazi salute that could only be more blatant if it was accompanied by a tiny finger moustache? thedailytism.com/the-autistic...

We really need more villains like Oogie Boogie. Just a huge asshole who sings an awesome song about how much they love being a huge asshole.

This is happening, people!!! Dates announced on Monday 10 am PT!

Bluesky now has over 10 million users, and I was #1,588,823!

Local Moron Doesn't Understand How Jokes Work

bluesky has boys from brazil, twitter has Boys From Brazil

put me in the cockpit. i’ll do what needs to be done

Doing this behind Jake Sherman is 🤌🤌🤌🤌🤌

Happy New Weird Al Single Release Day! I decided to celebrate the 10-year anniversary of my last album Mandatory Fun by doing a polka medley of some of the biggest hits of the last 10 years. “Polkamania!” is out RIGHT NOW and available everywhere music is sold or streamed! youtu.be/y0ZoX4dBvwk

Cheap Trick had it right: the optimal makeup for a four piece rock group is two pretty members, a schlub, and a goofball

MTV, I am Werner Herzog and this is my crib. It is but temporary refuge from nature's fury. The walls were once trees. I made them traitors.

*youth pastor voice*: do you know who else had a starter pack of followers?

Every album from The Decemberists

Trump [eating a baby]: I'm not eating this baby. I could if I wanted to, though [continues to eat baby] of course I'm eating this baby. so what [continues to eat baby] I NEVER ATE A BABY! [finishes eating baby] New York Times: Baby-Eating a Political Minefield for Joe Biden

The worst part of Dungeons & Dragons is when your character dies and the DM gets to eat all your dice. You’re crying and she’s just like cromch cromch cromch. ☹️

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I just can't unsee it.

@gailsimone.bsky.social I finally got Variants in the mail today, and wow! What could have been just another multiverse story instead made me think about the experiences we have and how that makes us who we are. My wife isn’t much of a comic reader but I’m still going to recommend she reads this.